Now Norma Knits

243. You Know How I Hate Memes...

...but I thought this one was kind of interesting.  I picked it up, and even plagiarized some of the answers, from Sandy.  The plagiarized answers are the ones in all bold.

1. My uncle once was driving a snowmobile which was pulling a sled on which I was a passenger.  He was trying to entertain us, and zigzagged on the road.  This, I don't need to tell you, is dangerous.  I was thrown off the sled and suffered a pretty bad concussion, briefly lost my eyesight, messed up my face something awful, and was hospitalized a few days. (I was 12.) It's a miracle I don't have facial scarring or serious brain damage.  It should be said that he was a very good uncle and he absolutely meant no harm.

2. Never in my life will I judge a person for what he or she can or will do in times of true desperation.  Actually, I lie.  I will probably judge the person.  But I have a very wide range of tolerance of what I can accept as understandable conduct in those times.  Because I've been there.

3. When I was five my father died.

4. High school was not as fun as it should have been.

5. I will never say never again.

6. Once I met my knitting and blogging friends, my life was instantly enriched.

7. There’s this boy I know.  I've got absolutely nothing on this one, but I wish I knew a boy who would help me right now with the garden. Not to mention a few other things.

8. Once, at a bar I picked up a big wad of money that a disgusting, rotting, filthy piece of falling-down-drunk humanity (but I'm not judgmental at all) had dropped, and I put it in my barmaid pocket.

9. By noon I'm hungry and I have to pee.

10. Last night I forced myself to finish this meme.

11. If only I had enough patience to delete all those frigging HTML inserts that occurred by copying-and-pasting this fucking meme.  How many left-arrowSTRONGright-arrows do we fucking need, anyway?  I'm going to change my answer to #2 to, "Never in my life will I understand HTML."

12. Next time I go to church I will feel as icky as I always feel in church.

13. What worries me most is how I'm going to get all that Swiss chard frozen before winter.

14. When I turn my head left I know exactly who I want to be there.

15. When I turn my head right I see my Ott-Lite.

16. You know I’m lying if I say I like memes. And HTML.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is how I looked in a leotard. But that perm and those glasses, and those puffy-sleeved tops?  No way.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be Ophelia.

19. By this time next year I hope I have a kickass retirement plan built up.

20. A better name for me would be Nora. I just wish my mom had left out that "m".  It doesn't feel right.  Nora sounds softer and prettier.  Then again, maybe the m should stay.

21. I have a hard time understanding how to answer these questions without constantly repeating myself.  See No. 2.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll do it vicariously.  Wait, I'm doing that. I'm living the dream, baby.

23. You know I like you if I'll have sex with you in a car.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be:  Huh.  Who knew these questions were going to be so hard?

25. Take my advice: Never give advice. (oops, I said "never")

26. My ideal breakfast is steak and blueberries, but I do love me some pancakes.  And French toast. And Eggs Benedict.  And oatmeal.  And cream of wheat and cream of rice.  And stewed prunes with cream.  And omelets and scrambled eggs and toast with sunflower nut butter and scones and jam and.... well, I pretty much love everything breakfast, but nowadays I know it has to be high-protein, or fuggedaboudit, it doesn't do me any favors.

27. A song I love but do not have is: I'm not a huge music buyer. Or listener, for that matter. I do love some music. But it's not part of my daily life.

(Cripes, how long is this meme, anyway?) <---- that was stolen from Sandy, too.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you eat at Jeff's Maine Seafood.  Save room for the maple creme brulee.

29. Why won’t people stay out of my way?!

30. If you spend a night at my house this week, I will make you pick beans, pick Swiss chard, pick tomatoes, pick kale, and help me freeze same. Fair warning.

31. I’d stop my wedding for... uh.  What kind of a question is this? I don't know.  A piece of chocolate cake.  A hurricane.  A heart attack.  A lightning storm.  A uh.... I don't know. Who writes these questions, anyhow?

32. The world could do without most of its people. And memes.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than lick cockroach poo do another meme.

34. My favorite blondie is a brownie.

35. Paper clips are more useful than lots of other things, I'm sure. But I can't think of what.  (Who writes these questions???)

36. If I do anything well it's to not take myself too seriously.

37. I can’t help but think it was a mistake to start this meme.

38. I usually cry freely when catharsis is in order.

39. My advice to my nephew/niece:  Eat your greens.  And I don't want to hear any whining.

40. And by the way, my love for memes has not been improved by this exercise, but I laughed a few times.  I hope I got you to laugh a couple of times, too.

29. I Don't Do Memes. Ever! Unless I Want To. Plus, I Won't Shut Up.

Grumperina*, my favorite Russian (though you'd never know it if you met her) gorgeous brilliant linguist newlywed (congratulations, Sweetie!), knows the direct way to my heart.  She came to my blog on Sunday with this comment:

You make my day.  Please don't kill me.

Huh? Cryptic or what?  Then I clicked over to her blog to find this, in part:

When I came back from my holiday, I had 17 posts to read from Norma alone. Will Norma ever shut up? No. And that is why I love her. Also, Norma doesn't do memes. Ever! Unless she wants to. Just like me :)

Well, fellow grumps unite! I laughed and laughed.  Honestly, if almost anyone else tagged me for this meme, I probably wouldn't do it.  Well, okay, maybe I would. But to have Kathy The Grumperina tickle my funny bone like that?  Who could resist, and who could fail to be honored by such a knitting and designing and writing luminary?  All homicidal tendencies immediately flew out the window -- at least for a few minutes.

ETA:  After writing this post, and trolling through blogs just before it posted, I found that Nora also gave me the You Make My Day Award.  Holy cow. I'm not worthy. 

So here's what we're talking about.  I'm sure many of you have run across this before:

"Give the award to 10 people whose blogs bring you happiness and inspiration and make you feel happy about blogland. Let them know by posting a comment on their blog so they can pass it on."

Thinking cap, thinking cap!  I have a lonnnnnnnnng list of blogs I read, all of which I enjoy enormously, so this was hard.  I read blogs for a variety of reasons --  the writing style is most often at the top of the list; if the person is a personal friend (most of whom I have met in person, but some of whom I haven't, but we're still friends in that way that only the internet can facilitate); for the knitting; for the lifestyle philosophy; for the photography; or any combination of the above.  But here are 10 that I absolutely must read every time they post, and they never fail to make my day:

Sandy*.  Well, I suppose that goes without saying, since I mention her name in the blog at least three times a week. Sandy is what I call a "sleeper."  Her quiet exterior upon meeting her belies the clever wit and slightly tainted sense of humor that I love.  And although she is NICE in all caps, I don't hold that against her and I still like her. She always makes me laugh.

Mason-Dixon Knitting*.  Ann lives in Nashville, Kay lives in Manhattan. I can't get enough of the eclectic mix of fambly (typo intentional and in an homage to them), serious knitting, the Nawthun-Southun/country-urban dynamic.  Again with the brainy and dry humor.  You will start to see a theme in my choices, I betcha. They always make me laugh.

brooklyntweed.  This site just makes me go ga-ga with the knits.  Jared's knit tastes are more like mine than anyone else I've found on the web (although it seems I never knit, whereas Jared is a regular knitting factory), and his skill with both the knits and the photography is mind-blowing.  His productivity makes me envious and inspired.

Kitty Cafe.  The story of her blog name alone is worth a return visit, and she is always up to something artistically interesting. Build a mosaic goldfish pond?  Done.  Build a mud oven in the backyard?  No prob. Plus, she eats the way I do, except maybe not the dandelions.

Zeneedle*, a/k/a Margene.  Another one you hear me refer to ad infinitum.  She's a personal friend, a mentor, an inspiration.  She can turn a frown upside down, and in a private email or phone call, she can put me in my place tout de suite. She is one of the most exciting bloggers because she loves her landscape, and never fails to share it, though the local predominant religious affiliation is not her cup of tea.  A reformed Mormon the way I am a reformed Catholic and then Jew (organized religion is not my cup of tea, but if it is yours, I respect that, too), she is a must-read if only to see her frequent photos of her mountain and descriptions of Sunday breakfast at The Lodge. She is a phenomenal knitter, too.

Claudia*.  How does one describe Claudia?  As no-nonsense as they get, and one of the best finish-work knitters out there -- she knows how to make a garment fit and look perfect. I'm going to come right out and say it publicly:  Claudia was one of the most exciting and positive surprises I've ever had in my life, when I met her in person and became friends with her. She is real and warm and fabulous.  I'm getting all teary-eyed, and she and her husband (and I) would not approve of the teary crap.  But there you have it.  *sniff*  I shouldn't write blog entries when I've had a generous glass (or two) of pinot noir and have local farmed venison stew simmering on the stovetop.  It goes straight to my head (and heart). 

Mossy Cottage Knits.  This represents a longtime virtual friendship of not only Ryan, but her partner, The Mysterious K.  Mossy Cottage was the original home of the Dulaan Project, of which I was a long-time supporter. My friendship with TMK has recently been further cemented with our mutual interest in the gym and weight-training. Again here, I am drawn to the smart and witty writing, the life philosophies, and the mutual trust we share.  I have not yet met these Seattleites, though I have threatened several times.  Someday it'll happen, whereupon Ryan and I will exchange Princeton AirHugs (r) and TMK and I will give each other bear hugs.

The Scottish Lamb*.  I recently met Jean in person, and wow!  It took about 30 seconds to know she is our people, which I quickly text-messaged to Sandy after our lunch together.  A more fun and comfortable first meeting I cannot remember, and I'm thrilled that Jean, whom I've known virtually for a long time, is back in the states (after being on various military posts overseas for several years) and is posting to her blog more often now. 

The Keyboard Biologist*.  No list like this would be complete without Theresa.  Hers was the very first blog I happened upon all those several years ago, and the very reason I started blogging in the first place.  And now we are personal friends.  A Chicagoan and a new mom, her blog focus has changed a bit, but she is a person who really understands life.  Her blog is nice to look at, intelligent, and charming. She is one of The Beautiful People, and I'm proud to call her friend. 

This list could go on and on, and I don't want it to end. I hate-hate-hate leaving out some of my other best reads, but here is number 10 for now:

Cookie.  She recently volunteered to knit a shawl for my sister, which made my sister cry.  My sister, who often acted as Vincent's surrogate mom, took his passing possibly even harder than I did. Well, OK, maybe not. But yeah, I think so. She needed a shawl like nobody's business.  Cookie knitted it for her, as I've mentioned before.  And Cookie is a fellow people-hater. (hee) How much more can I say?  I love her, and hope to meet her someday soon, when we can hate all over each other.

*These I've met in person.

---------
I'm not going to tag any of these folks.  If they read it here and decide they want to carry on the torch, great.  If not, that's good, too. They've all made my day (again) just by thinking and writing about them. 

Cinnamon Thrills

~Thank you for all your thoughtful comments yesterday. I truly appreciate them all, even the ones who said, "Norma, you're wrong."  It's a damn sight better than hearing the crickets chirping when I post about the charitable knitting. I'm glad I got you talking, and of course everyone is right in this situation. The needs ARE too great, and none of us can respond to them all -- me included.  Still, it saddens me that we can't cure all the world's ills with a wave of the knitting needles, ya know?~

~There is a "My Favorite Things" meme going around.  You might say I'm sort of participating in it here.  Kind of.  (I reiterate my rule about memes:  I don't much like to be tagged for one, but if I choose to do one, then anything is fair game, and I make up my own rules.)  So today it's all about my cinnamon love affair.~

When I was a little girl, my Nana would make pies.  And when she was finished with the pies, she would make some magical cinnamon pinwheels for me from the leftover pie crust. This was known as a special Norma treat. I'd sit there with her while she made the pies and then the pinwheels, and I'd watch, and I'd wait for them to bake and smell the smells, and I'd eat as many of those little treats as I could. It was a special thing between me and her (there were several of those).  I don't know where all my siblings and cousins (there were many of those, too) were in these magical times, but it was always just Nana and Norma and the sugary cinnamon pie crust love. 

Sadly, I lost contact with Nana when I was a little girl, re-establishing it when I was 40, and she died a couple years later, at the age of 95. I never asked her the tricks to the cinnamon pinwheels. I've tried several times to recreate those little pinwheels of my memory, but I must be missing some special step or ingredient, because I haven't been able to get it right. If I ever manage it, you know that scene in Ratatouille when the cantankerous food critic bites into that first taste of ratatouille?  Yeah, that'd be me. 

In the mail the other day, a package arrived from Sephora.  I said, "Sephora?  I don't remember ordering anything from Sephora recently.  Oh, hell's bells, what did I do?  Did I inadvertently sign up for another one of those automatic delivery schemes?" 

Then I opened it.  It was a most wonderful gift from that wonderful friend o' mine, Sandy, who knows that, when I'm a bit down in the dumps, I often head to the bakery for cinnamon buns. Being the thoughtful friend she is, and knowing I'm trying not to overindulge in those wheaten and carb-loaded nasties quite so often, she sent me gluten-free, calorie-free cinnamon buns:

Oh, such a wonderful experience in the shower.  The best part?  It's a shampoo AND a shower gel. I love me some simplicity. And it's not just any old multi-use product -- the shampoo's effect on my hair is luxurious.  No conditioner needed, and the first day I tried it, I was lazy and didn't use any styling product -- just blow-dried my hair.  And guess what! It looked fantastic all day. I'm here, and I'm sayin' it loud and proud:  I'm in love with a shower product.

Now, I know what you're thinking: You don't want to walk around smelling like a giant cinnamon bun all day long. Well, here's something that might change your mind:  It apparently drives both men and women crazy.  (But in reality, the scent is subtle, and it does not last long, so get on it fast if you're looking for that effect.)

Shortly after receiving my cinnamon buns prezzie, I was reading Cheryl's beautiful blog and found this wonderful post about cinnamon-scent ornaments. It can't really be that easy, can it? Surely she's left out some ingredients?  Definitely making these.  Assuming we don't lose power in this Nor'Easter, that will be the perfect time for making these ornaments.

This is a scintillating site with a little bit about cinnamon.

And a terrific 2006 blog post and cinnamon rolls recipe from a blog I hadn't found before. 

Sorry, Sandy: Apparently the shower gel love is not enough.  I still need the real thing.

--------

P.S.  This is not about cinnamon, but it's breaking news of My Big Head.  As of today (yesterday, I guess), when you Google "Norma," my blog is the number one hit. Norma Jean, Norma Rae, Constellation Norma, eat my dust! 

Abigail brought this to my attention. There'll simply be no living with me now. 

Eight Random Things About Me (Yes, I'm Doing a Friggin' Meme. Get Over It.)

It takes a woman with balls to tag me for anything, let alone a meme. (Note the date on that linked entry, and the blue-balled woman has no search capacity on her blog.  I have a lonnnnng memory.  And don't you all forget it.)  Right now Terry is sweating buckets because I asked her to find that entry for me and she doesn't know why.  I am taking great pleasure at the idea of her sitting by her computer, waiting to see what I have done with that link.  *cackle*

According to Wikipedia, the ultimate source, of course:  The term Internet meme is a neologism used to describe a catchphrase or concept that spreads in a faddish way from person to person via the Internet. The term is a reference to the concept of memes, but is used loosely to refer to things that are not necessarily memes in a technical sense.

The dictionary definition, sort of: 

meme  (Pronounced "meem") A trend, belief, fashion or phrase that is passed from generation to generation through imitation and behavioral replication. Coined by Richard Dawkins in his 1976 book "The Selfish Gene," memes and memetics are the cultural counterpart to the biological study of genes and genetics. Using the evolution analogy, Dawkins observed that human cultures evolve via "contagious" communications in a manner similar to the gene pool of populations over time.

It's a frickin' virus, is what it is. 

Interesting find:  It seems that everything with a pulse has a blog.  Now I find that even Memes have a blog.  For fucksake.

Y'all know my dislike for memes, right?  But Terry?  Terry doesn't care that I dislike them. She thinks she can take me, and she tags me anyway. Or maybe she hasn't been reading and memorizing my every entry from the beginning of time.  Okay, fine, Terry, I'll play along this time.  But the next time I see you, watch your back, girlfriend. I know you're pretty scrappy, but I'm bigger than you, and I also know you're injured.  Mud wrestling, maybe?  Or a rousing game of Scrabble.  Your choice.

Anyhoo, though, of course I'm only kidding.  Terry is doing me a favor (so she thinks), because in this NaBloPoMo thingy we're searching for blog fodder all the time, and she's a member of our "support group."  With friends like.... oh, never mind. 

So I'll answer it.  These are the first things that pop into my mind, truly random and without much thought.

1.  I'm not particularly fond of memes. I realize this is not big news.  Ditto chain mail or inspirational jokes or stories in my email box.  Once in a while there's a good one, though. It pisses me off that there is the occasional good one, because I really prefer to spread my meme/joke/inspirational story hate across the board. 

2.  Geniuses have a high tolerance for disorder, or so I've read.  Looking at my home office and fiber room, you might think I'm a genius. 

3.  I've learned a lot lately.  Not all of it is what I'd hoped to learn. 

4.  I don't have a favorite color, but please don't make me wear lilac.  Or mint green. 

5.   I've done some foolish things, but I'm not a fool.

6.   I've been loved and I've been hurt.  Loved is better, but hurt can be a learning experience.

7.   My favorite flower is a white peony.  Or lavender.  Or roses.  Or... Ah, never mind.  I don't have a favorite flower. 

8.   I can be indecisive.  And sometimes not. 

What?  Only eight?  I'm just getting warmed up, so I'll add a number nine:

9.  I once was the only student in a class to pass a 10-page exam.  The first instruction was to read the entire exam from start to finish before starting.  I did.  The last instruction was, "Put down your pencil and do not do this exam."  It was a test of one's ability to read and follow directions.  While everyone was frantically trying to do the obscenely long and hard exam in the class period, I was sitting there wondering if I had been tricked.  I felt sick about it, but I stuck to my guns despite the churning in my stomach and the redness of my face. I was such a good instruction-follower then.  I've changed. Today I'm a rebel.  I did a meme despite my moratorium on them.  I didn't follow the directions, and I added a number nine.  Next thing you know, I'll be buying a Harley. 

10.  Look! Still feeling rebellious.  I'm supposed to tag people, but I won't.  However, if you want to do this meme, I won't stop you. 

(Near the tram on Mount Mansfield)

"Sometimes you just gotta say, What The Fuck." 

~ Miles, Risky Business ~

Let's Review, Shall We?

Update: Dave made the uber-cool button you see in my sidebar. Feel free to take a copy if you want. Don't forget not to hotlink. (In other words, save it to your own server.)

On this, the occasion of I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT MY SECOND BLOGIVERSARY (it was Monday), I am declaring it National Norma Can Say Whatever The Hell She Wants Day.

Because, you know, I'm usually so restrained and I don't usually say exactly what's on my mind in exactly the way I want to say it.

Yes, this will be on the test.  And I'm cranky, so I'm only gonna say this once.

1. I don't do memes.

    a) I've talked about this at length before.

    b) I even answered questions in a deposition about it.

2. You know what? Non faccio memes.

3. Oh, here's another thing:  No hago memes.

4. And then there's this: je ne repond pas memes.

5. Please refrain from "tagging" me in my blog comments. It's just my own little rule of blog etiquette, and I know you might think it's fun and you might find lots of people who agree with you, but it's an annoyance to me. It's just my own little hang-up, if you will. Kind of reminds me of people coming to my door trying to get me to change my religion, or telemarketers' calls. I feel like I've answered the door or picked up the phone under false pretenses.

5. Please do comment!  Comment all over me, PLEASE! but please don't tag me in my comments. 

6. I don't do memes because I hardly have enough time to do my blog-writing as it is. If I answered every meme that is passed around, I would completely lose control of my blog and it would become an endless cycle of meme-answering. It also doesn't feel creative or organic to me, but more like a homework assignment.

Not to mention this, which I quote from my friend: 

"If I want you to know something about me in my blog, I'll tell you. Otherwise, stop being so nosy."  <-----really, it was a friend who said that, not me. But I wholeheartedly agreed with him at the time, after I stopped - you know - being all like a hyena.

7. If, after you have tagged me in my comments to do a meme, and I email you politely explaining my reasons for not doing memes, please do not respond to that email by tagging me again in my comments after a few days. Ohhh, that just makes me cranky. Like now.

No. 7 should now be moot, by the way.

8. Psssst.  I don't do memes. Every-which-way-to-Sunday, I...don't.... do.... memes.  (sung to the tune of "I Won't Back Down.")

9. Hey, *whisper, whisper* I think Norma doesn't do memes! Pass it around!

10. And one final point:

11. Now, for a quick review: NormaKnits is a meme-free zone. (button, anyone?) Unless, of course, I decide I want to do one. Then the meme is my oyster. Turn over your papers, pick up your pencils and discuss, don't disparage. And don't tag. Well, don't tag me, at any rate.

And while we're on the subject of Pet Peeves, click:

And no, I'm not suffering from PMS. Why do you ask?

Now, here's Thing The Next: 

I'm going to shut the blog down for a few days. I have a shitload of work to get caught up on, and I also would like to do something good for my body, like go for a hike or go to yoga class. I probably won't be answering emails for a few days, either. I might very well be reading them, but may not be answering them. I think I need to turn this computer off for a while. (like that's gonna help, since there are two other wireless notebook computers in the house, including the one I do my work on. But seriously, I need to shut out the noise a little bit.) Please have a good time while I'm away. I will miss you.

Many thanks to my friends (you know who you are), the cunning linguists. 

(For extra credit, feel free to add a version of "I don't do memes" or "I don't respond to memes" in your language.)