Now Norma Knits

Terrier Tuesday: The "Hello, Is This Thing On?" Edition

 

Dear Readers: 

Well, folks, as Hurricane Sandy is breathing down our necks, and already causing major havoc all up the East Coast (we're especially worried about New York City, because that's where our Abigail lives), Alpha and I thought it would be a good time to pop in and say hello. Alpha has been receiving increasingly more emails from folks who are worried about us, so we both figured this would be as good a time as any to break our unintended long silence.

Seriously, where DID all that time go? It's quite amazing that we could even remember how to sign in to Typepad. But of course, now we are finally writing, and many people are without power and won't even be able to read this. We hope everyone stays safe and gets through this with a minimum of trauma. Vermont's wounds from Irene are not yet fully healed, and even we tough Vermonters can't take much more. We feel for the folks in New Jersey who are bearing the brunt of the landfall tonight, and then Pennsylvanians .... Well, we are thinking about you and hoping you're all safe. 

You may remember, I don't particularly like wind. And when I say I don't particularly like it, I mean that I would rather eat a bucket of nails. I like it even less than I like a grooming appointment. A LOT LESS.

Speaking of grooming appointments, though, this is a picture Alpha took of me on Sunday just after I got out of one. I was giving her the cold shoulder and letting her know just how HURT I was about that appointment, even WITH the candy corn bandana they gave me.

Don't EVEN bother to say I look cute, though we all know that goes without saying, because it will NOT make me feel better about that appointment, NOR about the hurricane wind. But these are the crosses I bear. Life is not always easy for a Yorkie like me.

So.... what have we been doing? Well, my life hasn't changed much. I still get my breakfast and my lunch and my dinner, and my Teeny Greenies, and I get my walks and new toys, and treats and bones to bury from time to time. And this summer it seems like we have had a ton of people come over to do stuff like build porches and replace doors and do yard work, and everybody loves to play tug-of-war with me, which is nice.

Alpha has just been busy, busy, busy, BUSY with her work! She keeps saying this phrase: "It's a little bit of be careful what you wish for, but I'm not complaining!" And she's been going to a new gym that she loves. And in her spare time she has painted many of the rooms in the house and cleaned out rooms and closets and corners, and sent lots and lots of boxes of crap stuff to Goodwill and places like that. But we are still tripping over MORE stuff (will it NEVER end?!), not to mention paint cans and other painting paraphernalia, because she keeps on thinking that maybe soon she will paint the dining room, or whatever.

And meanwhile, she is providing CART to two medical students and one veterinary student, as well as CART and captioning for a growing list of other clients, and wishing that that cloning technology would come along soon, very soon. She has new people to help her with all this CART work, because of course until she gets cloned, she can't be in four or five places at once, and that means a whole lot of scheduling work and worries and people-managing headaches that sometimes keep her awake a little bit at night.

And then, you know, don't even get her started about this election season. At least David is not running for office this year, as his term is not up yet. Thank the LORD for that, she says! And she made sure to go in and vote for President Obama last week, just to make sure that some work thing, or, say, a HURRICANE, wouldn't keep her from voting, because, well, for at least 1,000 reasons, but this picture that was being passed around Facebook tells some of the story, right here: 

I know, I know, you don't come to Terrier Tuesday to hear a Yorkie talk about politics. But I'm just sayin': When Mama ain't happy, AIN'T NOBODY HAPPY. And I'm sure that, knowing Alpha as you do, none of this comes as any surprise to you. I've come to love her, even when she swears a lot.

Because even when she's really, really busy, she is the one who buys all my food and my treats and my toys, and she still manages to stay at home, or at least come home at night most of the time, to snuggle with me at bedtime. And that's all I really care about.

Love,

 

Mr. Jefferies

P.S. Alpha has been too busy using her hands for work (and working out) to be able to knit even a stitch. But she hopes you're all working on your red scarves. Just because she hasn't been blogging and haranguing y'all about the red scarves, doesn't mean she has forgotten her favorite cause, and doesn't mean that those foster kids who are going to college should be without their red scarf care package this year. So please send in your red scarves!

 

 

 

Want To Get Your Mind Boggled?

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Look What I Did Today

"Yeah, yeah," you say, "so you bought another travel mug from Starbucks."

 

But look! In the sea of choices marked "Made in China," I found a few items on the shelves that are marked "Made in USA." These may have been there all along -- the trademark/copyright date says 2011 -- but it's the first time I've noticed them. They are said to be BPA-free, and made of 30% post-consumer recycled plastic. 

Well done, Starbucks! I said I would buy mugs when the Made in the USA ones hit the shelves, and I started today. 

This is a slow week for me, while all of my students are busy taking exams. Next week things will ramp up steeply again, and so I'd best take advantage of the time I have this week. I bought a few cold-hardy veggie plants and put them in. 

Having discovered broccoli raab last year, and loving it, I bought six plants this year and plunked them in.

And under cover of the trusty inexpensive coldframe from Gardener's Supply (this is year three, and it's still in great shape), I have four Winterbore kale plants, eight lettuce plants, a curly parsley, several arugulas, and then I threw in a few seeds for radishes and more arugula:

Let growing season commence!

Saturday Sky and A Few Other Tidbits

Good morning, April Saturday!

Raise your hand if you remember Saturday Sky, a regular feature in knitblogland started by our own lovely Sandy, back in the halcyon days when we were all the cool kids, and we all remembered to check in on each other and remember each other when there were invitations to be sent or announcements to be made, and all that kind of good stuff.

Those were the days. We miss those days, Sandy and I. We do. Time does march on, though, and it's impossible to go back. And some of us might have faded into the background, but please try not to forget us. We are still here, even if we have become so busy with our work and our families and our health concerns that we forget to blog, or email as often as we once did, or send gifts and go to alllll the festivals anymore. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

So anyway, this morning I'm enjoying coffee in my new Doc Martin (I love that show) mug, the one I got when I made a donation to Vermont Public Television.

I was so excited to get it in the mail yesterday. My excitement was a bit dampened when I saw it stamped "Made in China" on the bottom. I can't wait for the Starbucks shops to start carrying their made-in-the-usa mugs. I'm not sure when the first ones will appear on the actual shelves, but I will be buying, and I hope you will be, too. I keep looking when I go in, but I'm sure there will be some time before it actually happens. 

When I went outside to snap the photo of the sky, I couldn't help but notice HOW NICE IT WAS outside, and how fast things are growing already, and how much work there is to be done around here. I don't mind admitting (well, actually I do mind one hell of a lot) that I have slowed down a lot. After having spent almost six months with that hip or pelvis (or whatever the heck it was; ok, it was in that general vicinity, ok?) pain, and finally getting over that, I feel great, but I also feel just a bit afraid that if I overdo, I'll end up back there. And the current definition of "overdo" is much different than the old definition of "overdo."

I don't use this word much -- it rubs me the wrong way somehow -- but this condition [of feeling over the hill or however you want to characterize it] SUCKS. 

And also? That person I see in the mirror with the new face with new lines all over it, but that still somehow manages to be rounder; the chin hairs; the grays; and the thicker waistline and thicker back fat poofing out over and under the bra straps.... who the hell is she and where did she put Norma? Honestly. We are not amused.

As David says (usually just before I coincidentally reach over and belt him up side the head), "It beats the alternative." No, actually, it doesn't. I suppose it all depends on your point of view, your religion, and your politics. But we won't go there -- those are dangerous topics for a blog. As we know. Ha!

Anyhoo. I think I'll go clean something or cut some brush or start some seeds or something. No sense brooding. 

What else? It seemed like I had so much I was going to tell you, but now all I can think about is going outside and working off some of this back fat. 

Here is a shot of Mr. Jefferies feeling very good about himself after he dutifully cleared the yard of errant noisy, taunting birds, which are still taunting him, even as we speak. We had a mouse in the house the other night, but I'll leave that story for him to tell you about on Tuesday.

It wasn't until I uploaded this photo that I noticed that our porch posts are in need of some attention. And get a load of that grass that needs mowing. Perhaps I'll go have another cup of coffee. 

 

I Am SO Pulling Out My Salt Lake City T-Shirt to Wear As Often As Possible

Reminds me of that wonderful scene in the movie In & Out when, one by one, all the townspeople stand up and say, "I'm gay."  

Women all over the U.S. are standing up and saying, "I'm a slut." At least I hope they are. They certainly are over at the blog of Helen and Margaret. The comments are almost as delightful as Helen's writing in this piece.

And continuing on my habit lately of being a "clipping service," as my new friend Gail has called me, I present to you another great read:

The Hairpin.

I know some of my readers don't like politics and don't like to read me when I write about politics, BUT YOU REALLY SHOULD. And if you aren't pissed off, you aren't paying attention.  

 

I Propose a Constitutional Amendment

Dear Blog,

I've been busy

a) trying to get my body healed (almost there! Tonight I did TWO situps in Bikram -- a feat I have not been able to accomplish in over six months due to my pelvic/hip/ileosacral/myofascial -- whatEVER it is -- issues);

b) happily, oh-so-happily working (Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE what I do?);

c) playing with new apps on my Android such as Syrious Scramble;

d) reading about and getting enraged about politics and the erosion of women's rights, and with what time I have left;

e) sharing stuff with like-minded people on Facebook.

With all that going on, I keep on forgetting about our longstanding relationship here in the blog.  

So every once in a while, I pop in and put a little something up here, just to remind you I'm still here. 

Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, and other such luminaries have opined that, they are, of course, morally, constitutionally and fiscally opposed to anything that Obama or the Democratic Party do ANY government-sanctioned health care. But IF there were to be guaranteed health insurance for Americans, they argue that Viagra is a legitimate prescription for insurance to pay for, but birth control pills are not. I won't even go into the offensive tripe of last week (and, well, forever) from Limbaugh, but O'Reilly defended him and said that that's DIFFERENT! Viagra is meant to treat a "real medical condition."

I just really don't get their argument. They don't believe women should use birth control. They are calling women nasty names for using birth control and making ridiculous suggestions about .... oh, Christ, let's face it: about EVERYTHING.  

Many of them say women shouldn't be having [so much] sex, and sex, according to Santorum, should only be for procreation. So then, where exactly are all these middle-aged Viagra boners going? 

My friend Laurie shared with me this cartoon on Facebook tonight, and I just had to share it with you. Hover over the link for my favorite quote....

Tom Tomorrow, This Modern World

 

Love,

Norma

 

 

MwahaHAHAHA, OMG, *cough* *heave* HAHAHAHAHA!

To quote my nephew:  "So apparently they forgot to include 'did you plug it in' on the troubleshooting checklist."

Faster-Than-Light Neutrino Result Reportedly A Mistake Caused By Loose Cable

School Is In (Or A Series of Edifying Links)

I've been linking a lot of these things in Facebook, but for readers who are not there, I bring to you A Series of Edifying and Thought-Provoking Links for your reading (and hopefully mind-opening) pleasure:

1. Our Founding Fathers Were NOT Christian

2. The Clitoris Is Much More Than Previously Thought (I knew THAT would get your attention. Please come back here when you're... ahem... finished reading.)

3. Women Should Be Pissed Off

4. No, I mean they should be REALLY PISSED OFF.

5. I'm not kidding, they should be REALLY REALLY PISSED OFF. 

I propose what someone in all my internet travels wrote: This November, we should make like their stereotypes of us and CLEAN HOUSE.  

Oh, and for those who don't like politics, here is a really great chocolate cake recipe. I sprinkle about a half cup of chocolate chips on the batter before baking. Delicious, super-easy, and no frosting needed.

But seriously YOU SHOULD BE REALLY PISSED OFF.

 

Do You Read Margaret and Helen?

I've been getting emails and comments asking if I'm OK, where I be at with the blog, and such. Well, thank you for your concern. I do miss you and miss the blog, but a) I've been very happily busy with work, and b) I've been spending probably way too much time in Facebook and Twitter, getting all het up about current affairs and such. Important things like honest rape. You know what that is, right? Right??

Today I'm off from work for a few days, and I come back to the blog with a bang. I hope it lives up to your wishes and expectations, because it's... well. It's me at my (almost) most fed up. 

I'm reprinting Margaret and Helen's latest blog post at the bottom of this post. I don't have their permission, but I'd like to think they'd give it to me if I asked. And I'm linking and giving attribution like a good blog neighbor, just because -- this week especially -- they have continued to make me feel just a little bit lighter, just about every day, when the news of those right-wing nutcases keeps on making my blood boil. 

I'd like to share their blog with you if you don't know about it. I subscribe to it and get notified by email when they post anew.

I apologize for this being such a link-to-outside-reading-material-heavy post, but I just had to get some of this off my chest. 

I'm very glad to see Rick Santorum, emboldened by his recent wins, start to truly reveal himself, what with his crazy talk about "in the Netherlands people have to wear 'do not euthanize' bracelets so they don't get put down when they go to the hospital E.R.," (Because yes, of course! What do we think when we think Netherlands? Tulips, windmills, and euthanizing the elderly -- am I right?!)  And President Obama is going to have Christians on the guillotine like during the French Revolution.

 

 

And don't even GET me started on his, "consider it a blessing that your rapist impregnated you" bullshit. And there is so much more. The shit he spews just never ends. He is the gift that keeps on giving.

I'd love to go into a psychological analysis of his poor wife. It doesn't take a licensed psychologist to see that she is either batshit crazy (and in need of lots of love) herself, or she is paying some sort of weird self-penance for, I don't know, maybe this?

Rick Santorum, the Church Candidate. Just exactly what we don't need. Note to Rick: Read the fucking U.S. Constitution, sir.

So I'm glad that he is on this self-destructive path of insanity, because even among the most right-wing, there are certainly many of those women who do not want to turn the clock back to 1899.

Aren't there? 

There is a poster going around online that says, "Choosing between the GOP candidates is like trying to decide which STD do I want." Thankfully, I don't have to choose from that rotten lot.

So here I give you Margaret and Helen. Go and subscribe to their blog here.

100,000 Gay Kids Secretly Watch Ellen

HELEN:

Margaret, I think that religious freedom means that we have freedom for religion as well as freedom from religion.  Now I know you don’t worry about this stuff.  You have never questioned your religion and you never worry about the day you will eventually meet your maker.  I question my religion regularly and worry all the time.  I guess that’s why I have a fat ass and you look like a zipper when you stick your tongue out.  Which reminds me, dear, did you check on that cake recipe I sent you? I am not sure about the ingredients and Betty’s daughter is kind of mad at me about that Komen stuff so I can’t ask her right now.

And speaking of being mad, I watched that sweet Ellen – like I do every day – and discovered that one million mothers are mad at JCPenney and they are trying to get Ellen fired because she is one of those lesbians.  That sweet little girl never did anything but make people laugh and dance a little.  Every time she comes on the TV I have to get up and do a little step doodle-ditty step with her.  I just love her.  Who are these million moms anyway?  Mothers should know better.  Statistically speaking a hundred thousand of those moms are raising a child who secretly watches Ellen and would one day make a fine spokesperson for JCPenney.

All of this hatred in the name of Jesus is alarming.  It’s alarming from a million moms and it is particularly alarming from presidential candidates like Rick Santorum. He was in Texas this week talking about his faith… which always leads him to talk about abortion and gay marriage.  I swear that man worries more about vaginas and who is sleeping with whom than any normal person should.   I don’t think he is right in the head.  He told his audience that his faith is a part of who he is and it will guide him in his presidency.  Well good for him.

There is nothing wrong with a little faith keeping you on the straight and narrow as they say.  But here’s the problem I have when it is the only consideration for a presidential candidate.  My faith guides me too.   And my church has no issue with contraception and understands that sometimes abortion is a moral and scared decision that a women might make in her life.  And every week when I go to my church there are these two women who are raising two beautiful little girls and nobody in my church has an issue with their little family.  I even heard that they all went up to Canada and got married.  Now I get that Rick Santorum's and Newt Gingrich's church, the Catholic Church, feels differently about these things.  And I respect that.  But which church should our government follow?  Your church or my church? What about Mitt Romney’s church?

My late husband, Harold, was a Catholic.  He went to mass every Sunday until the day he left this earth.  But I can promise you that he didn’t tell me what I could and couldn’t do with my lady parts and I’m sure as hell not going to let Newt and Rick start telling me now.

And while we are on the subject, let me say a few words about all those Catholic Bishops who say they would prefer to deny healthcare to everyone rather than include coverage for contraception.  That law does not force the church to give birth control to women.  Churches and houses of worship are exempt.  This is about hospitals and universities that serve and employ the broader public, not to mention they receive federal funding.  I am sure those Bishops are clueless about these things but the typical woman spends five years pregnant, or trying to get pregnant, and 30 years trying not to get pregnant.  So you’re telling me that  a bunch of nurses have to resort to the rhythm method for 30 years  just because the hospital they work at has some saint’s name above the door?   If those Bishops get their way a female professor at Notre Dame can’t get insurance coverage for her monthly birth control but her male counterpart can slap down a $15 co-pay and get all the Viagra he wants. Well that’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard all day.

I know you think I am over-reacting, Margaret, but you need to understand that it’s not just about the stupidity of some Bishops or the whining of a million clueless moms.  There are real dangers when religion gets into bed with politics.

Gingrich would outlaw all abortion with no exceptions. He signed the Republican candidate pledge which would give all human zygotes from the moment of conception the same rights and constitutional protections as human beings. He would oppose any legislative, judicial or bureaucratic efforts to define marriage as anything other than a relationship between a man and a woman… or in his case a man, a woman and another woman.

Santorum opposes all abortion including abortion for rape victims or for women who would die from continuing a pregnancy.  He considers contraception "dangerous" and favors allowing the states to ban it altogether.  According to Rick, gays are such second class citizens that they don’t deserve the privilege of marriage which is kind of odd considering those gay marriages reduce the number of abortions opting instead to adopt a lot of those unwanted kids.

Romney said Roe v. Wade should be reversed.  He says he would support a federal constitutional amendment defining marriage as between one man and one woman.   He would allow gays already married to remain married but would bar any new gay marriages.  Those gay marriages are kind of like his view on abortion – at one time they were fine.  Now they are not.

Those are alarming statements and positions because all of them are based on the candidate’s personal religious beliefs and yet all of them would have devastating effects on millions of American citizens who might not share those same beliefs.   I’m pretty sure  letting gay people get married isn’t going to stop Rick Santorum or any of those million moms from following their faith.  And it would be nice if those Bishops would realize having insurance coverage doesn’t mean you have to use birth control.

I wrote once that love is about the heart not the body.  Trust me, if it was about the body a lot of us would be in a world of trouble.  You can’t legislate love between two consenting adults.  You just can’t no matter how hard you try.  If you want to save marriage, marry someone you love.  And if you don’t believe in contraception, don’t use it – and please don’t date my granddaughter.

So to any of those million moms out there who might read this, I say:    Leave Ellen alone.  Ellen hasn’t done anything except bring a little happiness into my world every day at her new time slot of 3:00 now that Oprah is gone.  You would be lucky to have your child grow into such a wonderful young woman as Ellen DeGeneres.

What a week.  On Sunday I went to church. On Monday I made a donation to Planned Parenthood.  And today, I told my son to buy my granddaughter a cute new outfit at JCPenney so that Ellen won’t lose her job.   And, just like you Margaret, I am pretty sure that God and I are right with one another.  I mean it.  Really.

MARGARET:

Well I’ll let you worry about all that, dear.  I am working on that recipe you asked about for the cookbook.  Betty drinks so I question her notes about how much butter to use.  By the way, Ellen comes on at 4:00 here in Maine which makes it hard because Howard likes to eat dinner at 4:30.

 

Small Business Saturday

Man. When I retweeted the "just shoot me" comment about Black Friday yesterday, little did I know that it might turn out to be true. 

Sigh. We are so fucked as a species. Don't even get me started about the idiots who are pissed off because President Obama didn't mention God in his Thanksgiving Address. Don't EVEN. Oh man, I have so much to say on that subject and so much to say about another religion-related incident that happened to me while I was in the hospital, but oh man.... just don't provoke me. Seriously. It won't be pretty. 

Speaking of pretty, let us make an abrupt cocktail-party-style change of subject right now. How about that?

Look at what is just flying off the needles!

And look at how nicely it's going to coordinate with the new jewelry!

My instincts were so right. I hope it turns out to be as nice as I hope it will, and since I'm sure it will be lovely, mostly I hope I'm knitting the right size. 

I'll take part in Small Business Saturday by eating at a local restaurant and maybe dipping into a couple other shops, but I'm still basically in anti-shop mode. Still, what shopping I do, as always I make every effort to keep it local. Exhibit A, the jewelry above, made of really local material and by a local jeweler. And Exhibit B, the yarn above, is from, well, a fairly local producer in Maine, and then again all the way across the world in Russia, since that is what Peace Fleece is all about.  

And I won't even try to shove my all-religions-are-creepy opinions deep down your throats at all. Nope, I won't say a word.