Is There Anything Sexier?

The architect that we hired all those years ago to do two things -- mirror-image the design that I found in a magazine so that it would fit the topography of our lot, and design us a screened-in porch -- was the biggest waste of money we have ever spent.

Oh, man.

Sadly, that statement is not accurate, because wasting of money we have been quite good at. But stick with me here and allow me the rhetoric, because honestly, he really sucked. I mean, he did the mirror-imaging just fine, but it turns out that my builder said he could have just done that without me hiring the architect to do it. And the one other thing we wanted was a screened-in porch on the back of the house, and the dope architect (and by "dope" I do not mean it in the modern slang sense of the word, but in the traditional way) insisted that we should build a sunroom instead. His words, "Put it this way: You'll either do it now, or later."

So we fell for it. And you know what every couple since 1985 who fell for building a sunroom in Vermont has learned? Building a sunroom in Vermont is right up there in the Top 10 Stupidest Things You Can Do. I won't go into all the reasons why, because honestly, I AM JUST SO OVER IT.

Because now, 24 f^%king years later, after sinking untold thousands of dollars into trying to repair, rebuild, rethink, repurpose that g88damn-piece-of-**** sunroom, we are building.... guess what.... a screened-in porch (with an attached airlock/anteroom thingy). 

Have you ever seen a more beautiful sight than a blue sky over the rafters of a new screened porch?

Me either.

Man, I would like to send that architect a bill. Or let Mr. Jefferies leave him a deposit on his doorstep or something.

 

Comments

[Elizabeth]

We love our screened-in porch so much, I've shown it a few times on the blog. It's too bad we can't use it all year (like a sun room, ha!) but when the weather is warm there is no place better to be bug-free, eating, relaxing, even sleeping. Especially nice on a warm rainy day too.

[Mary Fran]

A screened-in porch is next on our bucket list, along with the wrap-around farmer's porch. The guy who built our majestic house up on a cliff, over-looking the tidal river and windmill must have run out of money, because we have a brick front stoop. My in-laws use their screened in porch so much, they regret not making it bigger. You will just love having it!

[(Another) Joan]

Our house came complete with a glassed-in veranda. South facing. At the time we thought it was charming. We soon found out it was always either too cold or too hot in there to use for anything else than extra fridge space in the winter or somewhere to dry the laundry in nothing flat in the summer...

[gayle]

Ask me how I feel about our stupid skylights - useless in the winter because the sun is too low in the sky, and have to be covered in the summer or they heat the house to baking temperatures...
I'm looking forward to the day we can have a screened porch, too. It's in our 10-year plan somewhere...
(And when you leave Mr J's deposit, make sure it's in a paper bag. Flaming.)

[Marianne]

Grew up with huge screened in porches, we'd sleep out there during the summer.. and sometimes Fall and Spring :^)
I'm with Gayle, have that deposit be flaming.

[Vicki]

Yeah. Our house came with a huge glassed-in, east- & south-facing, wrap-around porch and I shoulda known... I noticed that it was nothing but storage space for the previous owners when we toured the house! Let's see, there was that one day that one spring and that one other day in the fall when it was comfy enough to use... Ha! It quickly became part of a kitchen addition, the "garden room," and part of the studio/bedroom. There's a nice, small, open porch where we were able to use some beautiful pillars we'd salvaged. Much.better.

[kmkat]

I love our 3-season porch. It is on the second floor so having just screens would have led to water problems down below. Unfortunately the combination windows, while allowing the perfect amount ventilation at any given moment, are so wide that twice a violent windstorm has blown one out. Oh, well...

[Sandy]

Our screened in porch is one of my favorite places to be much of the year. Yes, I do live in the mid-Atlantic area, so our good weather seasons are extended, so it's a true bonus to have such a wonderful place to dine, read, knit, etc. So glad you're finally getting what you always wanted! I second Gayle's idea about the flaming deposit!!

[Leslie]

I just love our screened in porch. It gives us a whole other room in the summer and Tux loves it for giving him a safe outdoor space all year round.

[elizabeth a airhart]

good for you

[Another Joan]

Sing it, Norma!! People who design and build south-facing sunrooms should have to pay the fuel costs to heat/cool the damn things for the rest of said sunroom's existence. Mine works just fine now that it's been changed into the kitchen sitting area with proper ceiling and windows. Faugh on sunroom designers, I say!!

[Becky]

After having a few sunrooms myself, I have come to the conclusion they are very useful in a passive solar design and not as a living space. Screened in porch - now that's a different story! I have built several of them over the years, and I have never regretted it! Best addition to any house I can think of!

[Carole]

We had a screened porch at the house I grew up in and I loved it. I still long for one. I think you'll be very happy with this decision.

[Cookie]

You could link him to this post. ;^)

[Patty]

To quote my fabuloushomeforteoweeks kid...NICE. ;-)

[Kari W.]

I guess I'm the odd one out here. We converted our unused screened porch into a four season sunroom and use it all the time. Of course, ours has a north and west facing orientation and there are large spruce trees to the west to provide shade in the midst of summer. We replaced all of the screens with large patio doors which can be opened (and are) during the season to catch the breeze on our hill. Sure, it's a bit cool out there in the winter but then I'm always too hot anyway and the view from our hill down the valley is terrific. It's the most used space in our house and the most peaceful place to knit. I have great light but not the heat. My husband worked with many architects before he retired and, in his opinion, it's the rare one with "the sense God gave geese".

[Seanna Lea]

I would happily take either a sun room or a screened in porch for my house. Right now we have this little antechamber closet of a room to change shoes and jackets. It is stupidly cramped for one person much less one person and dog.

[Natalie]

We just moved to a new house & I think the screened-in porch will be the thing I miss the most. Well, maybe all the storage space, but the porch was lovely.