WTF Wednesday -- In Which Norma Becomes a Drug Dealer and Wants To Be A Hermit, Part XII

First off, about the Red Scarf Project:

Beverly in Tennessee's name was drawn in the yarn giveaway for the project.  The yarn has already been sent out -- and bonus!  Beverly, of her own volition, promised not to ask any stupid questions about the project!  Yay.  (heehee)  I sent her three skeins of super-soft Classic Elite Lush in a lovely dark red shade.  I look forward to seeing or hearing about what she makes with it.   

Also, a few FO's have been reported and/or spotted by my eagle eyes.  See the Red Scarf blog (linked above) for more info.

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So it's Wednesday.  My desktop computer, the one on which most of my blogging activity takes place, is dying a protracted death.  It has all my photos on it (thankfully most of them are not anything special, but there are a few that are worth trying to save) and there are some Word docs. that I'd like not to lose. I save all my AOL email on there, and at the moment AOL will not load, so I cannot access them (well, at least I don't know HOW to access them.)  The most important part of THAT is a file that is labeled "blog friends' addresses."   

Most everything else is fungible.  I prefer not to use my good laptop (Why am I now humming "It's a good ship Lollipop"?) for anything other than work.  My work is important, ya know - it pays the bills.  (Wow. Profound, Norma.) and it comes with its own myriad equipment problems. I don't need to add any complications to the mix by loading photos on here or anything else that will slow it down, use it up, or create and compound any issues.  I'm so sick of issues I could scream.

So I continue to be a wee bit distracted. I'm still shoveling away at the mountain of work, but it appears that things are starting to slow down a bit. But my Season 2 LOST DVDs are in transit, if I can believe Amazon. Yippee! Don't expect to see me emerge until they're all watched. I may not even go to Vermont Sheep & Wool this weekend. What do I need more yarn and fiber for, when I've got Jack and Sawyer and Sayid? Even without The Jack Factor, W..T....F...... do I need more yarn and fiber for???  seriously.**  I'm sooooooooo in need of a paring-down of everything in my life.  EVERYTHING.

We'll just hope work is not slowing down TOO much.  I know.  I'm never satisfied anymore.  (I said "anymore," Rabbitch, just for you.)  Yes, I'll take you up on the Jello wraslin'.  I think I can take ya! I think we could charge for it.  I'll split the admission fees with you.  And then we can set up a betting syndicate on the side, and skim off the top of that, too!  Yeah, it don't get better'n that anymore!  Oops.

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** I expect to be voted off the island and tarred and feathered for heresy after that statement. But I'm fine. I've just bottled my new batch of Motherwort tincture to defend against wykked sperytis.  That and PMS and tension and inflammation, as well.   It's wonderful stuff. 

This is the drug-dealing part you've been waiting for:

Well, recently as you may have noticed, work has been kicking my butt -- HARD.  And I said to my colleague, "I don't know. I think I have to come up with a new plan. A sugar daddy would be nice. Or maybe I should sell my body or become a drug dealer or marry an old rich guy.  Decisions, decisions/options, options."  She responded that she'd vote for drug-dealing.  "The money is soooo good."  So she hears.  So I hear also, since, you know, it is our JOB to HEAR about such things. 

So rather than dealing drugs, I think I'll deal my herbal tinctures. Much less lucrative, but it keeps me on the better side of the law.  You know? 

So, if you would like a bottle to try for yourself, I have a very limited supply (12, to be exact - better act fast!) of extra bottles of my organic Motherwort double tincture that I will sell.  They are 2-ounce bottles of organic motherwort double tincture -- grown, harvested, made and bottled by me. (double tincture means it's processed TWICE over a long period, for double strength. It took an entire year to make this -- the first harvest from last year, and the second from this year. Aged to perfection.) 

I don't have fancy labels, unfortunately, but the bottles are proper little amber bottles with medicine dropper tops.  They look all fancy and apothecary-like. 

This stuff really works -- a few drops a day in a little bit of water is all it takes to lessen or completely prevent my PMS symptoms and other inflammation and tension. Imagine how bitchy I would be if I didn't have it!  And imagine all the good "don't ask stupid questions" rants you are saved from, all because of my Motherwort tincture.  Really!  (Fine Print:  Does not prevent rants. These statements not approved by the FDA. And they better not come around here when I'm NOT taking my motherwort, neither!  Does Granny Clampett mean anything to you?!) 

I feel a little awkward selling it on the blog, but I have it, it's more than I need, and it's good stuff.  Therefore I'll set aside my awkward feelings and offer it up for sale at $18 a bottle, plus shipping.  Hopefully pay for my gas to Rhinebeck or sumpin'. 

Let me know if you're interested.  The tincture is alcohol-based, made with 100-proof vodka, which is the best agent to extract the active ingredients of the herb.  It also preserves the active ingredients.  A bottle is good for two years after opening. 

I'm still thinking about the other angle.  Sugar Daddy?  Yeah, maybe. 

Comments

[wavybrains]

Does motherwort help with PCOS do you know? PCOS related PMS is controlling my life at least 2 weeks a month. Did you try otherstuff before motherwort? I'm interested in knowing more :)

[Anne]

I hear the Sugar Daddy route is really the way to go. Not that I'd know. Nope. Nuh-uh. Not at all.

[sandy]

Step right up! This here is some of the very rare Miss Norma's Tincture that will cure all your ills!
:)
Sympathies to your ailing computer. Perhaps a few drops of tincture for it?
YAH for LOST!

[Emma.]

If I thought,for one minute,that it would safely [and legally ?] ship to the U.K.,I would definately buy some. Really !

[Dave Daniels]

But, NORMA! You're so HOT! Why not start a little Escort Service up there in the nether reaches of Vermont? For sure you'd get a lot of business. And you'd make more per person than little bottles of your witch's brew. We'll talk...

[Kelly]

Sorry to hear about your computer. Enjoy your lost watching. I can't wait until it starts back up again!

[Lee Ann]

Dave, she's too close to the City of Escorts...we got that angle covered around here...

I wish the hell I was going to Vermont, but the mere thought of driving three hours round trip with child makes me need to take a nap.

[Vicki]

My dau was just telling me about the friend of a friend of a friend's cousin's friend who dealt drugs in order to finance his college education. I can't even think of something to say about that.

[Judy]

sugar daddy sugar daddy sugar daddy

[Julie]

Norma vs Rabbitch Jello wraslin' - I'd pay to see it :)

[Kirsten]

Sugar daddy is the way to go, honey. Seriously, a year for 12 bottles at $18 each? That is not going to buy a servant to peel your grapes for you.

[Danielle]

Hey, we saw a picture of your hiney yesterday ... I'm sure that booty can find you a sugar daddy!

[Jenn]

Too bad you love your husband, Cousin, because, yeah, I think Sugar Daddy is the way to go.

[Elizabeth]

I'm interested in how you made it, the tincture I mean. I'm always looking for useful books on how to use herbs (other than for cooking) and cannot find what I want. Any advice, Dear Norma, White Witch of St. Albans?

Btw, I vote for the Jello wrestling.

[Roxie]

Don't feel awkward about selling the tincture. You are doing folks a favor. It's hard to find good, trustworthy stuff. I just thank God I'm too old for that crap anymore.

You could also sell videos of the jello wrasslin'. Heck, there are probably even people who would buy the jello afterwards. You can sell anything on e-bay. (Or maybe you could use the left-over jello to dye a whole bunch of yarn . . .)

Cuddles to Vincent.

[Carole]

I'll try a bottle if you still have some left.

[denny Mcmillan]

If you were to become a drug dealer, you may have to sometimes shove large amounts of cash down your pants,in order from getting robbed.But you do get a lot of money, most of it spent on cab rides though. Details in Rienbeck.....for a price. Also drugs make one a very bad speller.

[Lucia]

I would like some too. Hope I'm not too late.

[Martha]

You know, being married does not preclude the possibility of a sugar daddy. Just sayin...

[Sara]

I agree with Martha... a sugar daddy can be completely platonic! *grin*

[Dorothy B]

Tape the Jello wraslin', sell it on e-bay with a quick clip of it and you should get all kinds of sugar daddy offers out of that.

[Lisa]

If there is any left, I'd like to try a bottle also.

[Carrie]

I'm pretty sure that if you were to copy your whole AOL folder to a disk, when you are able to someday access your AOL again, you can retrieve it thence.
Do you have anything that would prevent general bitchiness, crabbiness, and all-around grumpiness? Cuz I'd need a case.

[Katherine]

Norma -

I'll stew on the motherwort (probably so long that it'll all get bought up five minutes before I finally think, yeah, I'll go for it. This is the price of being a slow and deliberate shopper).

A word of advice about the jello wrestling. That stuff is very very slippery. I just went to a jello wrestling part a few weeks ago. You must wear clothing or you will get no purchase on your opponent. I would expect the wrestlers to wear clothing, but some of the men in attendance at said party expressed some, ahem, disappointment with that decision.

Also, it makes your clothes really sticky. Really.

[margene]

Go for the Jello Wrestling. You'll be a hit!

[Kristen]

Make mine another vote for jello wrestling. Lime.

[christine]

Ha! Now, if you can peddle something for hot flashes, I'm in. Sugar Daddy?- he'd probably want something from you, and it sounds like you got nothing to give right now, girlie.

[pippi]

your mugwort sounds fab!
if only you would be at VTSW to deliver it in person.

are you seriously thinking about NOT going?
that would be a shame!

[SpindleRose]

I won't vote you off of the island if you skip Vermont Sheep and Wool. If everyone else does, come join me on my "I've got way too much yarn and fiber island."

[Ingrid]

I'll take a bottle. Do you accept paypal?

[Margot]

Got any left? I'd love to take some motherwort off your hands!

Let me know if I can help with the 'puter.

[Gina]

if you have any left and think you can ship to Canada, I'll take a bottle.

[Scout]

Can I just have bottles of Vodka?

[liz]

If you have any left, I'll take a bottle.

[Kim]

Hmmm. I'll admit to rolling my eyes at the mugwort stuff...until I read that it's distilled in vodka. Maybe I should rethink this homeopathic shit.

Dave's idea about your being an escort is a good one, dearie! ;) xoxox