Self-Indulgent Ruminations on My Birthday

This community is filled with wonderful friends, even for a grinch like me. I loved it a while back when Beth commented, "The blogosphere is an absolute godsend for recluses, hermits, and curmudgeons. We can all enjoy each other's company without actually enjoying each other's company. ;-) And nobody needs to vacuum beforehand... "

She's so right.  However, even the most hermit-like of us have our moments when we want to be sociable.

Almost every day, I invite you into my world, sharing bits of me big and small -- but I don't have to vacuum, at least not literally. I will admit that there is some figurative vacuuming that must be done in the form of editing. But mostly, my editing is like my housecleaning, to paraphrase wise and wonderful Sandy's words:  "It's not perfect, but it's hygienic enough.  It won't pass a white-glove test, but nobody will catch anything fatal."  I say what I mean and mean what I say.  I strive to be real.  And real is not always perfectly nice -- and it's definitely not perfect. I make mistakes. But mostly you know who I am, and mostly you know where you stand with me.  The highest compliment paid to me when I've met people in blogland is, "You are just like your blog."  When that happens, I feel like I've succeeded. You may not like my blog, and therefore you may not like me; but you may and you may.  (I'm so profound sometimes I think I should put my head in the toilet.  But I think you get my drift.)

I get a hell of a lot in return. I've met some of the most wonderful people in the world, and I expect to meet many more -- people that I am proud to call friend, people whose friendships I hope to keep forever, and that I don't take for granted. Friendship is a two-way street. If a person's idea of friendship is You Give, I Take, or Please Stand Over There, In My Shadow, that's not so much for me.

When people first get involved in the blogosphere and the "knitosphere," they often romanticize it, assuming that everyone is nice (and sane) and everyone will be instant and longstanding pals. In reality, it is like every other community. It's a bit like a Jenga game, and it takes all kinds to achieve balance.  There are people whose friendships you want to cultivate, and people whose friendship you'd just as soon do without. There are people who seem to be one thing, but then you learn they are something else.  (sometimes it is a nice "something else"; other times it is not so nice)

There are polite people and impolite people. There are mean-spirited bullies, and sweet and caring people. There are people who have learned the etiquette of saying please and thank you and how to say thank you - and those who haven't. There are people who are callous, those who are sensitive, and those who are over-sensitive.  There are people who give, give, give; there are people who take, take, take. There are people who are needy and self-absorbed, those who lack humility, and those who are confident enough to be truly humble.

It's a smörgåsbord.  Something for everyone at this table. Sometimes the table looks an awful lot like 7th grade lunchroom, but yeah. Something for everyone.

There are people who seem to balance it all, sensibly and effortlessly, keeping the boundaries in comfortable control. There are judgmental folks. (The most interesting ones are the ones who insist that they are nonjudgmental, when in fact they are terribly judgmental of those who do not share their points of view.) And there are those who are truly nonjudgmental. Same goes with the adjectives inclusive and exclusive.

There are true friends and fair-weather friends and people who are friendly when they want something. There are hypocrites, fawners, and those who demand the fawning. 

I demand the fawning. 

And I get it. 

(haha! gotcha!)

I stopped to take the piss out of myself, because it was starting to read like a frickin' sermon. But I'm not going to go back and vacuum. What you see is what you get. I'm not sermonizing; I'm just extemporizing. I'm saying what I feel and what I have observed.  So sue me.  It's my frickin' birthday, and I'm happy about it. I'm not one to care too much about these Life Events.  But my husband always says, "It beats the alternative," and he's damn right.

There are my friends out there who are dealing with very big, very real life-and-death concerns, living with uncertainty every day about whether they are going to wake up the next day or whether they are going to lose one of their faculties or one of their loved ones. I'm happy to be 47, healthy, vital and in control.

I received a delightful present in the mail yesterday.   Can you see it has "me" written all over it?  A handknit Mason-Dixon washcloth (the upscale one, all fancy with bobbles and a ribbon), in one of my favorite colors, wrapped around delicious handmade soaps, a handmade card, and a gorgeous bamboo cutting board. Bamboo makes an ecologically sound, stunningly beautiful cutting board -- a perfect choice for me on so many levels.  So lovely, so thoughtful, so very Margene.

Thank you, my dear friend. You are a cut above.

My daughter thoughtfully asked the question, "Mom, I would like to make you a cake for your birthday, but will that be upsetting your diet?"  I said, "BRING ON THE CAKE."  So come on in, have a piece. I hope you like lemon. 

Comments

[Jane]

Otanjou-bi Omedetou Gozaimasu Norma-San! (Happy Birthday Norma!!)

[Kae]

*hugs* Happy Birthday toooo you....

(be glad you can't actually *hear* me sing...)

[Kristen]

Happy birthday!!! Woo, hoo! Norma's 47! Yippee!

[Kristen]

(And I gots me onea them there cuttin' boards--they be cool!)

[Judith in NYC]

Happy Birthday, Norma. Even though I hardly ever comment, I read your blog every day and I enjoy it very much. My favorite posts are the ones about your gardening.

[maggie]

Happy Birthday to you! {{hugs}}

[alisa]

Happy Birthday, even though I don't know you ... I found your blog when doing a search on court reporting. I would love to hear more about your work experiences, as I am starting school in the fall for court reporting.

What's the dress code for it, anyway? I want to be the most fashionable court reporter in town.

[Lene]

Happy Birthday!

[Lauren]

Oh man, you always just sneak up with this birthday thing. Demand the fawning a few days earlier next time, k?

[Jean]

Go Norma... it's your birthday... Go Norma.... Happy Birthday, Girl!!!

[jennifer]

Happy Birthday Norma! I hope you have a wonderful day! and enjoy that cake!!

[Donna]

Happy Birthday, Norma!

[Vicki]

Lá breithe mhaith agat! (And many more.)

You know, I'm usually sleeping at this hour -- and even if I'm not sleeping at this hour, I'm not usually reading blogs! Apparently, I was meant to be among the first to wish you a happy, happy day. Enjoy that cake (yum).

[Julia]

Bonne Anniversaire! And many more!

[janine]

Happy Birthday! - and enjoy the cake :-)

[Anne]

Wszystkiego Najlepszego! Have a wonderful day.

I love what you have to say about the knitblogosphere not being full of lovely lovely people - we're people, just people - some are nice, some are cranky - some it depends on which day you get them...

[Emma.]

*H*A*P*P*Y* *B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y* !

Really enjoy your cake,and the love of family and friends.

xxx

[Jane]

Happy B'day! I like the way you think and write, and that I get to read your blog whenever you do is like having cake, but with no calories!

[sandy]

Happy Birthday, Dear NOR! You shall eat cake. Good sermon today. Er, um, blog entry!
xoxoxo
(I guess I got a jump on the day by posting a bit early and confusing everyone, eh?)

[Cathy]

Norma! Lá breithe mhaith agat!

[pippi]

happy happy day!

[Manise]

A Very Happy Birthday to You! You are exactly 2 months younger than me. Welcome to # 47- it's a very good year, kind of like fine wine ;-) Enjoy your day cake and all!

[liz]

Happy Birthday, Norma!

And remember, it's not just your birthday today - It's Birthday Week!

SWAK (sealed with a knit)

[Laurie]

Happy birthday, Norma! You are so right on about the enjoying, and celebrating.

That was one of the best summaries of blogdom I've seen. It's so worth remembering that it is a community like any other.

[marj.]

47 is good. I've been 47 for 6 months but have been telling people I'm 48, don't know what that's all about...memory going, closer to 50? My age seems to matter less as it becomes more. Have a great day, loved your post.

[Dave Daniels]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Hope you have lots of things you've been denying yourself, like that cake!

[Dave Daniels]

OK, what happened to that passwordy thingy??? I was just getting the hang. Fuck! It's too early to be this confused!

[Helen]

Happy Birthday Norma! May your next year be filled with fun, fiber and lots of friends.

I like what you wrote about blogging and not having to clean. ;-)

[Judy]

Hope you have a great day on your birthday. Judy

[Lana]

Happy 47th Norma! Enjoy that cake now:D

[midj]

Happy Birthday Norma. You're one of my first reads every time you post. When you're missing from my bloglines I feel bereft. I started reading your blog when you were tutorialing the Sophie bag and haven't stopped since. You frequently inspire me but mostly just make me smile. Warm regards and cooler weather wishes.

[Carla]

Happy Birthday NORMA!!!!

[Sara]

Happy Birthday Norma! I hope you have the most wonderful day!

[Karen]

Happy Birthday!!!

[Kelly]

Happy Birthday!

[Kate]

Happy Birthday to one of the best woman bloggers I read. Not only have I marvelled at your knitting, but your committment to living a good life... so, I say, everyone raise a glass (OJ or wine, depending on time zone) and...

Hipp Hipp
HOORAY!

happy birthday Norma!

:) Kate

[Stephanie]

Happy, happy birthday Norma.

Well put. Turns out that the blog-world is full of just as much human variety as the real world. Me? I like it there. I would have never met you otherwise.
(I'm not dusting though.)

[Sarah]

De-lurking to wish you the happiest of birthdays!

[Heike]

Herzlichen Glückwunsch zum Geburtstag :-)

My best wishes to you
Heike

[Kirsten]

I think you are allowed to wax rhapsodic on your birthday. So long as you're not waxing the floor or anything.

Happy birthday! Enjoy the cake!

[Gayle]

Happy Birthday, dear Norma!!!!!
Enjoy the cake - you've earned it!
I don't comment often, but I enjoy reading your blog each day. Can't start my day without coffee & Norma...
A thousand thank-yous & a big hug!

PS I've found that vacuuming just makes the dust-rhinos (rhinoes? rhino's?) cranky, so avoid it whenever possible...

[Cyndy]

Ma chère Norma
C'est à ton tour
de te laisser parler d'amour!
Ma chère Norma
C'est à ton tour
de te laisser parler d'amour!

[margene]

;-)
Happy Birthday Grrlfriend and I can't wait to give you a REAL hug in October.

[Miriam]

Happy Happy Birfday! And Margene always gives the best gifts, doesn't she? :)

[Rachel H]

Happy Birthday Darlin'! Enjoy the cake without guilt and all the presents.

I think it was this day last year that I found you. What a difference a year can make, eh? :o)

[Kathy]

Happy, Happy Birthday!!!! I love lemon -- I'll bring the coffee and tea. Oh, what the heck, open the bubbly!

[mamacate]

*fawning* *fawning* Count on me, girl.

Happy birthday, birthday girl! I hope you have a wonderful day full of lots of fun and no anoyingness.

We're a complicated bunch sometimes, but I sure do like us, warts and all. I'm glad to know you, and to be a part of this complicated thing.

[Wendy]

A very happy birthday! I'll have some cake in your honor!

[Rossana]

Happy 47th Birthday to you, Norma! Enjoy the Lemon Cake! Mmmmm...cake!

[Linda]

Happy Birthday!!