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    « Tilt-A-Whirl | Main | It's A Pattern »

    Tuesday, November 29, 2005


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    Clearly you are insane.

    You're welcome.


    It's a tough one. We see men of privilege every day on the news, making wildly selfish decisions that have a profoundly negative effect on the rest of us, the women and children. (I could be describing my ex - well he's not on the news, but seems to have morphed into a Republican in his personal life) But those decisions also have an effect on the men who are not of privilege. BUT a lot of those men, the men not of privilege,(I used to work in the trades and was on all-male-except-me crews more often than not) also treat the women and children horribly. BUT some of those children are sensitive boys, like my Noah, who was at the bottom of the pecking order of the boys in his class last year because he wasn't mean, and was excluded from the girl group who were all into Girl Power. It's HARD to see all the sides. And to know what to do.


    Don't men like the color tomato? Or is it tomatoh?
    xox I wish I were drunk and gabbing with you and Gib. No. I was sleeping.

    Dave Daniels

    Wah??? Tomotoe red is ok with *me*, I ain't got no problems with it...on a scarf...just please don't do it on a sofa with pillows. You know better, and NO amount of liquor will change that, little darlin'.


    Great idea. You've struck a chord there that most knitting IS done for children and women. We need to think of everyone there, not just 2/3 of the group. :)


    In downtown SLC I sure see more men who are homeless. It might be easier for them to survive on the streets than women and children. All the goddesses children need love and warmth. Everyone else knits for kids and babies. I'm knittin' for adults (men mostly). I love you because of your cynisism and skeptism. Same wavelength...ah, YA!


    "Many is the time (I've even said this in the blog before) when I think I could easily be a hermit, so as not to have to deal with people. I spit on people! And yet, I'm a hugger and a weeper at the friggin' drop of a hat. "

    That, my friend, is me to a T. Sometimes I think that the reason I don't want to be around people is because I have too much empathy and it's just too painful. You know? Also, I'm one of those people that mates for life - if I'm your friend I'm better than a golden retriever - dude I will never leave your side - which can become quite the burden if you have too many of those relationships in your life. The hermit life may be a defense mechanism, you know? And people (in general) are constantly disappointing me. Constantly. It's very sad. The human race is sorely lacking in something. I'm not sure what, but it's missing that key element. Not everyone for sure, but collectively. Especially in the US.

    I completely agree with you on the men issue and homelessness, etc. It's castration at it's core. You're doing a good thing Norma. Knit on.


    Just when I thought the world was getting soft...You don't need to *knit* for men. You've grown bollocks enough for all of them.

    Happy Holidays.


    Red is a warm, spirit-lifing color, and therefore perfect. Besides, it looks nice with the brown.

    I think my Dulaan knitting has skewed towards women and girls because, well ... that's who I enjoy knitting for most. Boy colors can be so boring. But your post made me think, and I do have that Bulldog Blue Lamb's Pride in the stash ... some guy mittens are called for here, I think.

    Rachel H

    Because my damn computer's been acting up lately and screens aren't appearing quickly or in any particular reasonable fashion, the first thing I saw on here this morning was 'vodka rocks'. And I thought Cool! I totally agree! When the rest of the screen, including the comma between those words and the context surrounding them came up I also thought Cool, but in a different way.

    I thought about the men the other day and because the first two of my recent hats were distinctly girly, I made the last one in a solid charcoal grey. It's not even so much I think that men are expected to be able to fix things themselves by others, as it is that's what They think they should be able to do. They're less likely to ask for help, or guidance, or talk to others about what they need, or take advice. And if you ask a man about himself, a lot of times he'll start by telling you about his job. That's his primary identifier, and if he loses it, the rug is pulled out from under him. He loses confidence, feels ashamed, and will isolate himself. I've seen it happen. And it really is hard for them to come back from. It changes who they are.


    It's funny because I've been alternating these hats I've been knitting - a color for a woman, a color for a man. I even held up a green yarn and asked Dale if he thought a guy would wear it. I've mostly stuck with neutral colors, though, figuring that way it would wind up where it's most needed.
    You're nothing but wonderful, even if you are a cynic or a skeptic or a curmudgeon.

    Teresa C

    Ahhh.......we could be hermits together. But in seperate rooms. Or houses. Just meet when we need to see another human face. I'm with you on the people thing. My family is always telling me, "maybe you shouldn't go to this thing mom, there will be people there you know." Everytime I leave the house it's something. Just leave me home with my knitting and my tea.......


    How right you are about who we mostly knit for! Am casting on a warm "man hat" as we speak soon to be followed by a "man scarf".

    Thanks for the perspective.

    Screwdriver Gib

    So it's 7:15 am, and I have to be to work by 8. Maybe I should hop in the shower? Hmmm.

    LOVE the brown and red. Great color combo. You got it goin' on, girlfriend.

    SANDY WAS SLEEPING??? We should have woken her up! ;)


    At first I thought charity knitting tends to focus on children because A) women and children are over-represented among our country's poor, B) kids need clothes more often because they are still growing, and C) knitting for small people is relatively quick and need not be expensive. After reading blogs for a while, I added D) men's sweaters take a very very long time to knit and are a huge yarn commitment.

    Beth S.

    Knit whatever comes naturally from your needles, and don't sweat it. Someone else is making bigger projects than you. Another someone else is making smaller projects. It all works out in the end, I suspect.

    And I agree with Carole. Embrace your inner curmudgeon--she's a fantastic writer, AND she has the good sense to know when a plain brown scarf needs a tomato red stripe or two.


    Wow, never thought of that. Even all the chemo caps I've seen are for women...all pink and fluffy. What do men who have to go through chemo wear? I bet they don't all feel like wearing baseball hats. Hmmmm, thank for the brain candy today...

    Lisa in Oregon

    Norma, you DO touch lives, don't kid yerself.

    When I first started blogging, you were the first person who sent me something...just out of the blue.

    When I went through my christmas stuff last night...and came across those christmas knife/spreader thingies...I smiled very, very big. I had been struggling with all the stuff that WASN'T there anymore...trying to be grateful for the lovely things I have acquired...and there were those little spreaders. Someone...who didn't even KNOW me...took the time, cost and effort to send me a christmas care package last year.

    You make waves Norma...good waves. Thank you for being your cynical, funny-as-hell, smart ass, kind, generous, wonderful self.
    Lisa in Oregon


    Hmm. Well. Here's the thing. My mother used to knit lacey foofoo stuff. I went to the practical horselover's stuff. My ex and I ran a construction co. I knitted/crocheted manly men stuff. I ran a farm. I crocheted more manly man stuff for the cowboys and the cowwomen (that sounds a little peculiar - but then, some were). I still have a tough time with the "girly colors". I love IMing, crocheting, sending pics and laughing with several of my horseloving women friends and will happily spend hours with them.


    I find it a little more than passing strange that a cynic who believes that ALL PEOPLE (underscore ALL) are motivated by selfishness would unselfishly spend time knitting scarves of those selfish homeless men, woman and children. Sorry, Norma. I just don't buy the cynic stance. I'll give you skeptic, not not cynic.

     Lee Ann

    Dude, you're cute when you're ornery...

    Wish I'd known you were online...would have joined the fun! And what man wouldn't love a little hot tomato?

    Ahem. Nevermind.


    Norma, I suspect you hate people and then hug them because people suck, and people rock, all at the same time. We all have those days when we rack up the negative karma jus' cuz we don't feel like being nice, and then we have those days when we calmly wait for the person in front of us on the road who clearly has no idea where he is going, and we knit tomato and brown scarves for homeless men. There's way too much bad happening to think humans are all that great, but there's way too much good to write us off completely.
    (Your post reminded me of a speaker at an animal rights convention. The speaker asked, "How many of you like people better than animals?" and nearly everyone raised a hand. Then the speaker said, "Okay, now look around and see your coworkers. And remember that they ALL like their dogs better than they like you." LOL)
    Anyway, thanks for reminding me that everyone needs a little help sometime.

    Elizabeth D

    Norma, I wrestle with that gender issue too when knitting for others (I prefer to call it "community knitting" -- I had a nasty Sunday School teacher who was big on "charity" and I haven't liked the word since then). I knit a lot for various organizations that do things for single moms and their kids, many abused -- so that makes me mad at the men. But -- I need to make something for the boys, especially the big boys, so they don't feel shut out and get resentful, and continue on. . . I try to self-correct when I've made too many things for the ladies and not enough for the gents. Of course, for things going to other countries, gender rules re colors and sizes won't be the same as the ones I've internalized, so who knows how well my scheme is working? (Also, I've been working on a chemo cap pattern for men for a while; guess I should get back to it. One of our children's librarians needed one a few years ago; he's now thriving, but there are always guys out there. I'll get on that right after Christmas. . .)


    ahhahaha.. sometimes I think - I don't need to bother with a blog! I'll just put up a link to Norma's blog!

    Last night, my husband told me that his office has sponsored a family for Christmas. A single mom, three kids. Someone in the office put up a tree and on the tree are paper ornaments. On each ornament is written a gift and the age/sex of the child who asked for it. There are two boys, 8 and 14 and a girl in the middle. Mark said he was looking and saw they were asking for things like mittens and bed sheets. wtf?! 8 year old boys are supposed to ask for Star Wars stuff and video games. Girls are supposed to ask for trendy clothes and music and ...
    MITTENS?! My heart about broke. On the spot, I ditched most of my Christmas knitting. Does my mil need a lace scarf from me? Not really. And there are actually very few people in my family who have a real appreciation for the value of hand knit items. So, I grabbed my wip list, crossed off SIX items and went to the store and picked some great red chunky wool and some cream too. Last night I cast on for a hat for the 8yo boy. I've already sketched out the scarf pattern and there will be mittens too. This morning, Mark took the tag off the tree that said, "hat, mitts, scarf - 8 year old boy" and I'll have a red and cream set for him soon. If I have time, the 14 year old gets the same treatment. I'm wondering if I have time for another booga bag for the girl.

    GAH! I keep wandering around exclaiming, "MITTENS!! That's not right. A child just have mittens. He shouldn't have to ask Santa for some!" I've been making socks for my son, Jordan. He says just to set them aside until I've knitted for these three kids. He can wait for his socks. So.. that's what I'll do.


    Don't worry, I've got the men covered. All my charity knitting is for men, although it's not intentional. My guy is exceptionally picky about his knitwear: usually doesn't know until the last end has been woven in if a hat will suit him. Usually they don't, so off they go to the charity bin. It's still worth it to knit for him though, when I find a winner he wears it until it falls apart.


    Ahhh, Norma, it is blogs like today's that make me love you so!


    I'm doing some MenKnits for the KYarn charity thing. I'm using the CatMan's head as a form.


    I'm with Rabbitch. But you also need to get some sleep. I cannot keep up with posts at 12:05 am. :)


    Hmm, I totally get what you're saying. I loath being out in the general public, hate having to deal with people. BUT! I love anyone I know personally. As long as someone is nice to me, I like them, male or female.

    As far as knitting for men, you're absolutely correct! Why not make hats and mittens in masculine colors? It's a very good idea. While the older men seem to be more conservative in their color choice, with the younger set, anything goes. My guy would love the tomato and brown and he's very conservative.


    Some days you really are a treat to live with, hmmm?


    Don't mind me, its been a very long day at the keyboard.

    Stalker Angie

    But Norma Dear, if you were so terrible, would all your wooly friends stick around just to hear you bitch about another minor spinning irritation? I think not. We love you just as you are. So :P

    Oh and try an olive green scarf with a thin stripe or 2 of bright orange. Younger men love that kind of coloring.

    Hope you have a less than cynical day! *Ducks and runs*

    Krazi Knitter

    Hun, you are NOT much different than a lot of us other middle-aged women, who HATE people! LOL

    We sound SO much alike (not going into detail here)! I am a stay-at-home Mom (who might leave the house once a month) and LOVE being that way! I do NOT like most people (or should I say they do not Like me). But, I find pleasure and a drive when it comes to knitting for others less fortunate. I like feeling that I am making a difference if only to one person!

    I agree with you when it comes to knitting for men. I, also, have been concentrating on children and women. But your point about the men not having the resources for help hit home. I pledge to knit at lease one item per month JUST FOR A MAN! Anyone else want to join in?

    P.S., I enjoy reading your blog as much as I can get on-line ( I have to fight two teenaged daughters for the computer) LOL.


    I knit a hunter green man-ish hat for the Carole/Margene KUO -- (that is it's man-ish if you disregard the big ass star on the crown). Are you still collecting for the KY drive -- if so, I'll send it on up. (And, thank you for the cloud hat link -- I'm on my second one -- very cool little hats.)

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