In Like a (Slightly Wimpy) Lion

March:  In like a lion, out like a lamb. (who said that?  Google didn't really enlighten me too much.  Maybe it's of unknown origin.  I was too lazy to keep following links that seemed to be vague and unhelpful.)

That's the view to the southwest from my front porch, March 1.  Granted, I didn't have to be on the road driving anywhere yesterday, but it seemed kind of like a geriatric lion.  Does this mean monsoons and hurricanes and earthquakes in Vermont for this spring and summer?  W.T....?

(Please note the black-eyed Susan heads in the lower right of the photograph, left standing for the winter.  Soon the goldfinches and other small birds will be arriving, and there might still be another snowstorm or two after they arrive.  They will be feasting on these lovely seeds and the other natural food we have in our yard.) 

I was a lioness, however, when I got the bill for snowplowing for the month of February yesterday.  Our plow guy has been positively milking us the whole non-snowy season.  Oh, how I miss our old guy, who retired this year.  I see a short future for this guy.  He milked us even after we spoke to him twice when we noticed that he was coming EVERY SINGLE DAY (thinking we weren't home, of course, to catch him) to salt, charging us $15 a whack. We caught him putting salt on the driveway one day when it was 47 degrees, even after we had asked him not to salt unless it was literally like a skating rink.  We ran out to ask him what.he.was.DOING.this.time.  (this was two days after the last time we asked him to STOP.)  He said he was "just trying to keep ahead of it."  Yeah.  That'll do it.  Here, how about I go out every day at lunchtime and throw dollar bills on the pavement for extra traction?  That would keep ahead of it, too.

I never liked him anyway -- he makes me cringe with his bad dentures and general sleaziness.  The dishonest creep.  Do I sound like a nasty person if I say, "some people are nothing more than a waste of space"? Must.find.new.plow.guy.

Don't mess with Norma.  I'll chew up your ass. 

I'm ready for spring to come, and gardening season.  I'm antsy when I troll around blogland and see people's knitted items posing in daffodil beds.  I won't have daffs for another two months, at least.  NOT FAIR. 

Last year I neglected my garden a lot.  Blogging and knitting were The New Things, and I ....uh...neglected the garden.  This year I hope you will bear with me so I can get back to the garden.  I won't be doing any stupid Audrey-type sweaters or tanks this year.  (famous last words) 

I suppose I can blather on endlessly about the garden.  Will you let me?  If you want to come over and heave 50-pound bags of Intervale compost with me in my endless quest to improve the clay soil on my practically vertical landscape, you come right on over.  Any time.  Bring your best hiking boots (you'll need the traction - Wellies or pansyish "gardening clogs" won't cut it) and a strong back.  It's very, very good for the thigh muscles and arms and back muscles.  It helps if you're built somewhat like a mountain goat, since that's what our challenging lot is quite like -- a craggy, hilly mountain. Check your whining and your chemicals at the gate.  There are no chemicals allowed here -- our soil and lawn are alive and healthy, not on drugs.  Well, except for this year a little excess SALT, fucksake.  And don't expect your manicure to be too pretty when it's over.  Mr. Plow Guy is soon to have his face rearranged, too, if he isn't careful.  He'd be well advised not to come around here when I'm wielding a shovel or a garden fork. 

Speaking of lions, (we were, weren't we?) soon it will be dandelion (Etymology: Middle French dent de lion; literally, lion's tooth) season.  I can't wait. My family and I love to eat our dandelions.  I still have some from last year in the freezer, and I just had some for lunch the day before yesterday.  I sauteed them in walnut oil with onions and organically raised Vermont farmed venison, (sorry, veg friends) seasoned with a little sea salt and cayenne pepper.  And I've had dandelion coffee the past few days.  It's almost spring.  My body is telling me to cleanse.  It's the true spring tonic, and I can't wait for the fresh kind to be ready.  When I told Abigail what I'd had for lunch, she said, "Yummmmmm, you have to get me healthy when I come home for spring break."  That's my girl!  (her boyfriend, when surveying our pantry and refrigerator, was heard to say, "I could never live here."  But then again, we've got him willingly eating tofu now, so....)

We often have dandelion omelets and sauteed dandelions as above with various meats, or use them in tomato sauces served on brown rice pasta.  If not prepared properly, or if harvested too late, dandelions can be bitter, but when prepared properly, they are wonderful!  Even when they're bitter, I like them.  All it takes is a sprinkle of lemon juice to cut the bitterness. The other day I had a fresh turmeric, dandelion, and local goat's cheese (from the next town) omelet.  I'd never had fresh turmeric before -- it is phenomenal.  Now that so much has been learned about it as a potent antioxidant, apparently the health food stores are stocking it in its fresh form.  At least up here in the hinterlands.  It's probably been available in ethnic markets in more metropolitan areas forever, but it's the first time I've seen it.  I've also been cutting off little chunks and eating it raw. 

You can read some fascinating and fun material about dandelions here and here, (the second link is especially for Joe).  The dandelion coffee is amazing.  I drink it often.  I like strong coffee flavor, so I use the dandelion coffee powder in a much larger amount than recommended, and it's wonderful.  (there's no coffee and no caffeine in it -- it's a coffee alternative, and it tastes amazingly like coffee.)

Do your body and your planet a favor:  Stop poisoning your dandelions and eat them instead.  Sermon over.....for now. 

Now, where is that gardening fork?  I think I hear the plow coming.

Comments

[erin]

No caffeine??? I don't think I could function. I'll come help with your garden, if you come help us renovate our "new" (built circa 1900-ish) house, when we move. Deal??

[Nathalie]

Mate - there is no way I'd mess with you -I've read your blog!
Cheers
nat

[Lauren]

I want a picture of the next dandelion meal. I count on parents to make me healthy too, and we'll see if i can go sans wheat in L.A. What if I just cut back a lot? One good thing about the plow guy sucking is you'll never have to knit for him.

[Nathania]

When I was a kid I used to rinse them, coat them with a mixture of a little flour, sugar and a touch of cinnamon and saute them in butter. Delicious!

[Margot]

March: In like a lion, out like a lamb.

It's from Gypsy. :)

PS Kick his butt. Salt at 47 degrees. Fer cryin' out loud...

[Donna]

If I ate the dandelions, I think the rabbit would kill me. They're hers! ;)

[Marie]

The first golden narcissi came out almost two weeks ago in Vancouver. First butterfly too. The cherry trees are coming into full bloom. And...my deck garden stuff isn't together. Crap.

[Amy Boogie]

I don't heft bags of mulch. We load up the back end of the truck. It's so much easier to just shove it out the back end onto the soil. Yeah, I like to take the easy way out. Check out local garden centers, some of them might deliver a truckload. I'm so ready for spring my seeds have just been shipped to me.
I sympathize with the plow guy. Seems to be more shady ones that the good guys. Seems a lot of the good guys retired this year too. Everyone I know has had to get a new guy this year.

[Kim]

Like you, my garden languished a bit, but I have big gardening plans this year.......I love to garden!! Wow, I didn't realize that you were eating so healthy! It is my goal this year, not to diet, but to become fit and healthy.
Dandelion coffee, eh? I don't know if I could give up the morning cup of java though.....at least not yet..

[Jo in Ottawa]

Your garden looks lovely. We had about the same. Luckily my driveway isn't long enough to justify a plow guy and we shovel it (well it is shared with my neighbour who is obsessive and seemily underoccupied so we try to do our share).

Gardening is my partners passion but he is similarly anti-chemical and puts dandelion leaves in salad. I'll have to suggest some of your other ideas though I'm sticking with (fair trade) coffee -- half and half decaff french roast.

I for one will forgive you if you have more gardening than knitting content as the season changes.

[Adelaide]

Apropos of lions -- I just love the Katherine Hepburn/Peter O'Toole movie version of "A Lion in Winter".

I think the deer have eaten everything I managed to get planed last year in my brand new landscape. I carefully chose plants from the list of things that deer are not supposed to eat. I think I now belong to the school of thought that says the deer themselves compile those lists. Being used to years with a tiny city garden, it is quite a challenge to think about what I've got outside the windows now. I have also discovered that all of Dutchess County, New York, is solid rock -- even the bits that are supposed to be soil.

Now that you all have gotten me knitting again, maybe I could knit myself a tree or a few plants.

[Katy]

Ah, that good old Intervale compost. We belonged to the Intervale Farm CSA once upon a time, when we lived in the fabulous land of VT. Sigh.
The first time I brought DH home to northern NH to meet my parents, my mom spent the afternoon digging dandelions--in the pouring rain--so that we could indoctrinate him. He wasn't particulary impressed with them. But I married him anyway.
I wouldn't dare to eat the dandelions from our tiny city lawn, though. We don't use chemicals, but the folks before us probably chem-lawned it to death for the past 40 years. This year we will spread some corn gluten to prevent the growth of the dandelions (so that our retired neighbor with the perfect lawn won't attack us with his rake & shovel).
But dandelion coffee? Not sure I'm there yet.

[stephanie]

Joe appreciates your efforts.
I however, while I think that dandylions are darned yummy (you can batter and fry the flowers too...and they are very good) I will die a thousand deaths if you dare tell me that anything that has no caffiene (shudder) and no coffee in it is anything like coffee again. Jeez Norma. Watch your mouth.

[Judy]

The goldfinches have been wintering here in the Kingdom.. I have often had 100 or so at a time. Yeasterday, during the NO storm, they cleaned out 4 feeders.

[Cara]

Ah, your plow guy is truly an freckle on the ass of humankind.

And I'll be happy to help out with the gardening any day, especially if you are willing to feed me ;)

[Margene]

Can I come for dinner soon?

[Leigh]

Amen on the dandelion thing. It drives me mad to see people spraying poison chemicals on their lawn, which leach into rivers and streams, causing overgrowths of algae, killing fish and sickening the planet slowly, just to make grass green and "weed-free" (madness!) It is just a quick fix. Besides, dandelions are pretty (and tasty).

--okay, getting off soapbox and going to knit now--

[rebecca]

thanks for the dandelion links - they are taking over my yard... now, they are useful :) i'm very interested in giving this a try. to ease your thoughts a little, never been a poisoner, just a picker and tosser :)
just have to add, you made me laugh out loud with your plower story

[mia]

Norma, kick butt!!! You could always go over to his house and spread salt and bill him. I am lucky in that my snow play guy is my state delegate and he is a really nice guy. He actually shoveled out the sidewalk leadin gto my door last year when I was on crutches. Do you want to come and help me redo my small garden?

[gaile]

can I come live with you for about 3 months? I will help with your garden if you can get me well! maybe we can put in terraces like elliot coleman? I could design beautiful organic gardens where flowers and grasses and edible landscapes all live together and support each other. Do you make your dandelion coffee? how? or where do you purchase it if not? as it appears that my beloved coffee is one of the growing list of things my body is reacting badly to, it wold be lovely to find a workable alternative that was actually good for me. Wonderful post today, norma, really fabulous!

[greta]

I have steel toed, well worn in gardening boots, which by the by are also great for kicking plowboys into the next county....ahem. Plenty of experience with nonchemical means of gardening as well...think permaculture meets biodynamics, throw in a Master Gardeners certificate....and that's moi...I'm CRAVING the smell of freshly tilled earth right about now, but that pesky layer of crunchy ICE is in my way. So I'm knitting, and drooling over the heirloom seed savers catalogs....
Pass the dandylions, PLEASE!
(You'll pry the coffee out of my hands when they are COLD, by the way.....
Must.Have.Caffeine.)
mwah!

[cari]

Mmmm....dandelion... And dandelion with goat cheese in an omelet? Oh my. When can I come over for breakfast? I'm with Greta on the coffee, though. Must be a Leo thing, speaking of lions. Though according to ER4YT, I'm encouraged to have a bit of coffee each day. Yes, that's my excuse and I will CLING to it.

[Silvia]

I'm kinda sceptical (read scared) of the dandylion coffee thing...how I about I send you some good coffee for when the weeds are all eaten?

As for your super diligent plow guy, admittedly I have limited (read no) experience with this as I live in California, but perhaps he is unaware that water freezes at 32 degrees or 0 C if he's of that persuasion.

[Timothy]

You don't need a new plow guy. You need one of these:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1467&item=5558944653

[rachel]

You don't need a new plow guy. You need to MOVE (there's some houses available near me and you could teach me about organic gardening). Today is 70 and sunny. Still in shock that you have to worry with bills for plowing and salting crystallized water. Love the hats you and Steph are channeling.