Now Norma Knits

A Quick Catch-Up

1.  May we have a little applause for our wee fundraiser for the Red Scarf Fund/Craft Activism giveaway. Even in this rotten horrible no-good economy, $575 in donations were reported to me from a total of 15 donors/entrants in the contest for my extra copy of Craft Activism.

2.  And the winner is: Michelle P. from Missouri. Her book is in the mail! Thank you to all the donors to the fund!

3.  I had my stress test with echocardiogram yesterday, and according to the nurse, nothing seemed awry. Of course, this is subject to the official word of the cardiologist, but I felt good walking out of there. I was told I'm in GREAT SHAPE. But given that most of the people they have in there are probably over 70 (at least that's all I saw in the waiting room), and all the docs and nurses couldn't therefore stop STARING AT ME, I'm not sure how to take that.

The problem is, I'm still having the symptoms and my blood pressure is still high-ish. And I just plain know that something is not right. So I'm thinking there are more tests in my future. But I will admit that I felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders after that test yesterday. 

4.  Mr. Jefferies says hey. He forgot to blog yesterday. He was busy sleeping, since he had had a weekend visit with dogsitter extraordinaire Jessica, who apparently wears him out to no end. 

5.  I've been BUSY with work! I approve. 

6.  I'd be willing to bet that my weekend was wayyyyyy weirder than yours. In fact, I'd lay 1,000,000-to-1 odds. 

And that's all I'm going to say about that.  

REMINDER: Contest Ends at Midnight ET, Friday Night, October 7

Don't forget to email me at redscarffund@gmail.com to let me know about your donation to the Red Scarf Fund to get your chance to win the wonderful new book Craft Activism. 

The book has a large variety of inspiring stories and ideas about using crafting for good -- not just our red scarf story -- and even a few cool knitting patterns.

Read more about the book and the contest details, including a Paypal donation button, here.  <--------click!

Craft Activism Contest

Welcome to readers new and old who have come here from the Potter Craft free excerpt from Craft Activism! Check it out! Isn't that wonderful?

Seasoned readers here at NNK will understand why, as soon as I heard the news from Gale that the publisher had chosen our humble chapter on the Red Scarf Project as the featured promotional chapter, I knew I had to jump up out of bed and put up a new post so that new readers would not encounter the 2nd word of my last post as their first introduction to this blog. First impressions and all that. Eh?

Anyhoo, this is still September for another few hours, and September is the traditional time for me to shift into high gear with regard to the Red Scarf Project. What better timing for this new book to come out just a few days ago? And look who has an extra copy:

How's about a good old fashioned Red Scarf fundraising contest?

The rules:

1.  For every $5 donation you make to the Red Scarf Fund For Foster Youth, you get one chance at a drawing for my extra copy of Craft Activism.

2.  You are on your honor (I trust my readers) to tell me how many entries you have in the contest. 

3.  Write an email with the subject line "donation" to THIS EMAIL ADDRESS (only):  redscarffund@gmail.com, including the following information:

• Your name (first name and last initial are fine, if you prefer) 
• The amount of your donation

4.  Contest will be open until midnight ET next Friday, October 7.

5.  Winner will be announced by the following week.  

 

I've put a Paypal button below for your convenience, but if you would rather send a check to Foster Care To Success (the artist formerly known as the Orphan Foundation of America), you may do that also. The address is: 

Foster Care to Success
21351 Gentry Drive
Suite 130
Sterling, VA 20166

If you would prefer to donate through the Network for Good rather than use Paypal, click on this link.  Scroll to the bottom of that page to find the Network for Good button. 

Grounded

Well, now. We all know about my traveling mojo as it seems to have developed over the past few years, and so I guess it should come as little surprise that I am still at home. 

And yet, I am surprised.

Good grief. There was a storm predicted for the afternoon yesterday, but my flight was at noon, and I thought I'd make it out before anything untoward happened.  But it was not looking good even as we were driving to the airport in the morning. When I arrived, they announced that my plane was going to be delayed about an hour -- not because of the storm, but because of mechanical difficulties. 

Then, sitting at the gate, the other passengers and I were looking out the windows and going, "Hm. This isn't looking too promising."  

The people with whom I was sitting and chatting, it turns out, were not taking JetBlue as I was, but a different airline, and they were all of a sudden boarded with great haste by the crew. They were just barely told to board when a second announcement was made: "If you want to get on this flight, please hurry! The door will be closed in ONE MINUTE!" I have never seen those crew members scanning those barcodes on the boarding passes so fast.

I said goodbye to my new friends, and then the announcement was immediately made that my flight was canceled. Arrangements could be made right there at the gate, but if the line grew too long, the rest of us would have to return to the ticket counter. Then the announcement was made, "If you have checked a bag, you will have to go to the ticket counter." 

So I rushed to the ticket counter. And the line was already immense (by Burlington standards). And then I saw on the board that the flight that my fellow waiting passengers had been so hastily boarded onto had a new status: CANCELLED. Those poor sods. Well, at least they weren't sitting on the tarmac for three hours or something. 

The storm came more quickly and with more force than was predicted. So anyway, here I am back home, in limbo a bit. Not sure when I'm going to make it to D.C., but it will be replanned sometime and somehow. 

I had a new experience with the TSA. I was patted down for the simple reason that I was wearing a skirt. I do acknowledge that this is no joke: Imagine what-all you could hide under a skirt, I suppose, even though you've gone through the metal detector already. (In my case, just thighs that needed to be shaved, but I digress.)  

I'm still laughing about the instructions the (female) agent gave me:  "I'll be asking you to spread your legs first one way and then the other. And then I'll be running my hands up each of your legs until I meet resistance."

Yeah. That's what he said. 

So, I bet you're all wondering who the winners of my blogiversary comment contest are!  All commenters since February 23, when I first announced the contest, were assigned a number. Then I ran the Random Number Generator for the winners. Here are the results:

1. Winner of the cat mug:  Bullwinkle, who blogs at Out Of Yarn.

2. Winner of the bison laceweight:  Seanna Lea, who blogs at Another Purl.

3. Winner of the DVDs: kmkat, who blogs at kmkat and her kneedles

4. Winner of the cone of cashmere yarn: Elisa, who blogs at Knot Knitting Enough.

I think this is a first in my contests -- that all the winners happen to be bloggers. Thanks for all your comments, and thanks for playing. I've notified the winners via email, except Elisa, whose email address did not come through in her comments. Elisa, I hope you are reading -- and if so, please email me and send me your snail mail address so I can ship out the cashmere.  

 

Emerging From the Fog

Little by little, slowly but surely, I am trying to get my life back into order after what will hereinafter be referred to as The Crazy Time [aka The CamPAIN]. But am I? Yes, I think I am. I'm not sure.

I was up at 4:00 this morning due to insomnia brought on by the wild winds outside that woke me up, and then my mind started going a thousand miles a minute. 

I now find myself in another one of my periods of under-employment, but this is working in favor of getting some long-overdue organizing and decluttering done in the house and the ability to do things like take impromptu trips to New York and to do some cooking to try to get my nutritional needs back on track and to get in some more exercising and knitting, and even -- *gasp* -- to plan a vacation. It's all good, eh?  

I remembered at 4:30 that I had not written a blog post, and decided that it was not too early to do a drawing for the winner of the book. And the winner, as chosen by the Random Number Generator, is long-time reader and commenter Mary Beth Mathews! I've emailed you, Mary Beth. Congratulations to Mary Beth, and thanks to everyone for playing!

It continues to amaze me that all of you have continued to live your lives and write your blogs while I've been In The Mists of The Crazy Time. WTF? Really! I just spent an hour trying to catch up with Anne of Knitspot, and am totally gobsmacked as always as to how productive you are, Anne. And I could die at the beauty of your new sweater, Leaving. DIE. I want one! And/but I've got so much still on my plate, and have to finish up these sweaters I've been working on, and I hate to admit it, but my forearms are again being bothered a bit by the knitting. And the sweater is knitted in Kim's beautiful yarn, and I just had no idea about all this wonderfulness that was going on out there. It's all just like -- Wait, you guys! Slow down!! I can't catch up! 

It is truly freezing outside right now, and has been for the past couple of nights. And soooo windy. I'm afraid to look to see whether there is snow swirling out there on that wind. I don't think it was predicted, but I've been too busy or distracted (or something) to look at a forecast.

I did not have a chance to look yesterday, but I'm guessing that my broccoli plants that were hanging on and which I hoped to get some more leaves from for eating (the florets have ceased forming, but I've been harvesting and eating and freezing the leaves) have probably succumbed to the frost. I'll have to check on them today, once the sun comes up.

Also once the sun comes up, I have to make a trip to do a whole bunch of errands -- bringing donations to three or four charities and picking up the turkey and getting some groceries and stuff. This, of course, is probably exactly when it will hit me that I have not had enough sleep and I'll be useless.

Oh! Before I forget it, there have been some inquiries about Red Scarf and someone asked whether I'll be collecting red scarves this year. Well, I've never really collected them -- only been sort of the head cheerleader -- and this year I just haven't had time for that, as I've mentioned once or twice or three hundred times so far. Please, though, I hope you are knitting or crocheting or weaving your scarves and sending them to the Orphan Foundation of America. All the information is on this page.

Even with all that's been going on with me, I've knitted four scarves so far this year, so come on! I know you can do it too! I have asked for a status update from Lynn, but I have not gotten an answer yet. Lynn, if you are reading this, go ahead and put a status update on the scarves in the comments here, if you have one.

 

 

Happy Sunday -- With a Giveaway

Good morning from your tardy blogger. Mr. Jefferies and I took an impromptu trip to visit Abigail in New York this weekend. I even remembered to bring the camera, and there were plenty of great things to photograph -- most notably the sign in the massage/acupuncture place that we visited yesterday morning -- but sadly for the blog, the old camnesia took hold again.

Ahhhhh, though. We had side-by-side mother/daughter foot reflexology, but first they put our feet into buckets of hot tea. And then we had hot stone full-body massages. Life.is.goooooooood.

I also could have welcomed you this morning with a great pee place post -- I haven't done those in a while, have I?! The rest area in Guilford, VT, just over the Massachusetts border, could have provided you with entertainment for a week. Well, OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but it's really quite special: Playground, formal garden, bench yoga stations, art gallery, etc., etc., etc. However, it was very dark when we got there last night, and quite cold. Mr. Jefferies and I used it for a half-hour exercise and stretch break. The cold air was a very welcome head-clearer at that point. The flash on my camera is not working, though, and the nighttime photos are useless. I need to get that camera looked at.... or replaced.

But how about a nice little giveaway instead of all that? Would that interest you? Of COURSE it would!

I have an extra copy of New England Knits by Cecily Glowik MacDonald and Melissa LaBarre. 

I was going to do a full review, with photos and all that, but when I Googled it, I saw that at least one person has already done that. So instead, I will point you in her direction, and say, "Yeah, what she said." And I'll go have another cup of coffee. Fair enough?

Let me know in the comments to this post by midnight tonight if you'd like this book, and I'll do a drawing tomorrow. Happy Sunday!

 

Terrier Tuesday -- Book Prize Edition

Dear Readers,

A.Alpha said I was a little bit ham-BIG-u-ous about the instructions for winning the book last week, and so we interpreted it very loosely. There were 123 total comments to the post, and only one person expressly said not to put her in the drawing for the book, so even if the rest of the people didn't say they were interested in the book, we put their numbers in the bowl anyway. 

And then she told me to go rooting around in those numbers and choose one, which I did. I always do what she tells me to do!

To be perfectly honest, I was hoping there was a treat hidden under there, but no. Just papers.

This is the one that I chose:

And this number belongs to Tish. 

Which I think is wicked cool, because it rhymes with dish!

I started a new song. Tell me if you like it so far:

There was a Tish in my dish

and she made a wish

Not for a fish

But a book!

No? 

I shouldn't quit my day job, then?

Fine. Whatever. You guys are no fun. I don't care what you --

SQUIRL!!!!

  

Congratulations, Tish!  Alpha and I hope you enjoy the book.

Love,

Mr. Jefferies

"My goal for the year is to learn how to pee, standing up, in the stirrups, at a high rate of speed." -- Anne

Most of us have such banal and ordinary goals, like "I want to lose 10 pounds,"  "I want to stop drinking Diet Pepsi," "I want to be a millionaire before I'm 30."  But not my friend Anne.  I can't stop laughing at her comment, which was finished with, "I'm not sure Bhen is going to like the practice runs, though..." 

This, my friends, is Bhen:

I love the way things turn out. (Honestly, how strange is life?)  I used my most-oft-used "Random Number Generator," aka Sandy.  I normally email her at work and say something along the lines of "Pick three numbers between 1 and 51."   She'll shoot an email right back with her random choices.  This time I nearly split a gut when her email came back and I checked the numbers.  I couldn't be more pleased that one of the numbers landed on Anne:  She is the originator of the idea, she entered the contest, saying "a girl can never have too many P-Mates," and she left that belly-laugh-worthy comment.  Plus, I can just hear her voice and delivery of that comment.  Thank you, Anne, and congratulations.  May you meet your goal with grace and aplomb.

The other two winners of the P-Mates are Sally and Patty.  Congratulations, ladies!  You can now pee standing up!  Write your name in the snow or the sand!  Scare the neighbors!  Or, in Anne's case, try not to pee on the horse.

I Destash In Your General Direction (Monty Python Fans Should Like This Title*)

Thank you all for playing in my caption contest.  My, my, I have clever readers. I loved all your entries, and they kept me entertained for all of Sunday.  But someone had to win, right? I will send the winners something very nice from my destashing efforts, and maybe a little extra sweetness. 

First Prize goes to Miriam for this gem:

And Another First Prize (there can be no seconds here, haha) to Gayle for this one:

 

That pithy "Me, too" answer cracks me up every time I read it.  Perfectly gnome-like, methinks. 

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*However, destashing is much pleasanter than farting.

P.S.  Recently the brains at Typepad gave more helpful hints to increase readership.  One of the things they said is that we shouldn't use clever titles.  We shouldn't use titles or words that might bring people to our blogs via a search engine and find something they weren't really looking for.  People are busy, it said.  They will get pissed if you're advertising something that you're NOT, or wasting everyone's time.  You should be boring and say just what you mean. 

What fun would that be?  Can you imagine, for example, if someone Googles "farting" and lands here?  OMG, I've wasted someone's important "farting" search time.  OR what if someone is doing a serious search about gnomes.  They land here.  I'M SO SORRY.  I've wasted your time.  Or "Monty Python" or "barfing in sap bucket."  Who knew from that title or those misleading words that this would be a knitting blog?  And I've wasted someone's time and that reader will not come back. Darn. 

For fucksake.  They really don't get us, do they? Talk about sucking the joy right out of the endeavor.  Sheesh.

I'm hopeful that someday I'll serve an important function for the person who will undoubtedly Google "farting knitter."

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P.P.S.  Thank you to Laurie, my own personal anesthesiologist (well, OK, hopefully NEVER, but she's there if I ever need her) for scaring me straight.  Not that I really needed a study from the NIH to tell me what I already knew intuitively, but seriously, if I needed a punctuation mark on the "I'm done with Diet (or any other) Pepsi and Coke" comma period exclamation mark -- no question mark -- I'm DONE.  I mean it.  Don't try to offer me one.  Just don't.  I'll cut you down. 

The funniest part is that it was MY ranting and railing against the stuff that got HER to quit using it a couple years ago.  What can I say?  She's smarter and stronger than I.  But my kidneys and bones and heart and head are telling me, "Please, Norma.  Stop the insanity."

I did learn a thing or two sitting in medical school last fall:  Kidney tissue does not repair or regenerate.  The kidneys can only withstand a certain number of insults and then it's dialysis for you, bub.  So listen up:  If you don't join me, the kidney terrorists will win.  Or something like that.   Let's stop together.  K?

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Now I guess I will also be thwarting the Googlers searching for: farting Diet Pepsi.  Or farting terrorists.

Does Anyone Else Hate Photo Sessions As Much As I Do? Out-Takes and A Contest

1. What the? I promise you, I was not barfing in the sap bucket.  However, I do NOT remember doing this and have absolutely NO idea what I WAS doing. Sigh.

2.  So apparently here I am having a conversation with Hank.  Let's have some contest fun.  Fill in the speech bubbles, or make a caption: