You might have read in the papers or saw on TV that the President of the United States came flying in on Air Force One to our little state last Friday, and yep, you guessed it, Alpha was gone for a long time, and yep, you guessed it, she claims that she did her ticky-tacky job that she does on that funky machine right there in the room where the president was!
She said it was really interesting, and she loved listening to the president and says he has a very cute smile. And there were a LOT of people there. And lots of those guys like you see in the movies with little plastic cords coming out from their ears and down their big strong necks into their black suits, who don't smile much (but smile a little sometimes) and stand still like statues and then move around the room and shoot their eyes around, and there were lots of other men in the back with flak jackets and big guns and big dogs, not like little Yorkies at all, and... and...and...
Well, I'm a little bit breathless just trying to tell it all to you. It was very, very exciting and fun. Well, for Alpha, it was. For me, it was just like a regular day, lying in my bed, safe in my pen, while she was gone. You know.
Sadly, Alpha's captions were not displayed up on big screens for everyone to see. Nor were they applied to the live stream of the event that was put on the internet by the local paper. Alpha is just a teeny bit peeved about that, because she thinks that the ADA -- you know, if it were a person like corporations are -- would have a thing or two to say about that.
The captions were only done for Ally, because out of a crowd of 4,400 or so people, she was the ONLY ONE who asked for it, because we all know that not enough people realize that they can ask for it, and sadly we have not evolved as a civilization enough for the organizers of these events to think it is appropriate to provide captions universally, even if they are not asked (or oftentimes even if they ARE) so that the approximately 1 in 7 people present for this thing... and if we do the math, that would be approximately ... um.... let me count.... about 600 people who were there, statistically speaking, who had hearing loss and maybe even more who probably would have benefited from captions. But Alpha says DON'T GET HER STARTED. You know how she can get when she starts getting on her soapbox about equal access for all, and all that.
But anyway, she promised to take photos, but then she yelled at me afterwards, saying, "Look, I was WORKING, all right?! I could only take a tiny few photos before anything really got started. Coz after it got started, I had to pay attention and be writing on that funny machine! Sheesh."
So here's what we got:
This is Ally, taking a photo of the stage.
See, there is her CART setup for Ally and the few people who were lucky enough to be standing right behind her, who really wanted to read the captions -- including one Secret Service man who was quite intrigued.
And look at the great seats they had! Only a very few people had seats -- a few of the people who paid primo amounts for tickets, and people who had disabilities. The rest was standing room only.
Alpha was a little miffed, if you must know, about the people who were clearly gaming the system. Indeed, there were people in there who were infirm and in wheelchairs who needed to sit in that area. The others were just clearly experienced at breaking the rules. Oh yes, they were definitely disabled enough to sit there, but as soon as things started, they sure could stand in front of her table to take pictures, blocking her and Ally's view. She tapped on their shoulders and asked them to move over or sit down. And when it was time to leave, you should just have SEEN how able-bodied many of them were, able to jump over her table, over her cables on the floor, between the very narrow spaces where they weren't supposed to go, and over gates to get out of there fast. Uh-huh.
Alpha guesses there are always going to be people like that who are put on this earth just to piss her off, and that just goes to show you why she says she hates people.
But lucky for me, she loves Yorkies.