Now Norma Knits

Terrier Tuesday -- ADA 21st Anniversary Edition

Dear Readers,

My Alpha would like me to tell you that today is the 21st anniversary of the Americans With Disabilities Act. The ADA was signed into law in 1990 by (bet you wouldn't have guessed this) President George H.W. Bush. 

It is a law that has made positive differences for millions of disabled Americans. It still has a long, long way to go, and often those who are interpreting the law in the trenches, so to speak, choose to read things in the light most favorable to themselves, which might not be at all in the spirit in which this thing was intended. So in recognition of that fact, some amendments were written and passed into law in 2008 under the -- HOLD THE PHONE! -- the administration of that other Bush president. Will the surprises never stop coming on this?!

The amendments "emphasize that the definition of disability should be construed in favor of broad coverage of individuals to the maximum extent permitted by the terms of the ADA and generally shall not require extensive analysis." [source]

Back when the elder Bush signed the original, he said, "Let the shameful walls of exclusion finally come tumbling down."

Why, then, two full decades after the law was passed, and a couple of years after the clarifying amendments were passed, Alpha wants to know, would a medical school have the choots-pah* to deny a deaf student CART? WHY?! she asks incredulously.

Anyway, perhaps my badger terrier sarcasm is slightly misplaced. This is a day to celebrate the Act -- which may have been the very last law in American history, ever, to have passed in an intelligent, bipartisan manner -- and not a day to get bogged down in all that politics stuff.

Was that still sarcasm? I dunno. I am only a terrier; what do I know about sarcasm? 

Well, as you know, my Alpha gets a bit of a bug up her nose about certain parts of the ADA that are ignored, flat-out violated, or honored only in the breach when it comes to the hard of hearing in particular, but we won't get into that today. Because this blog is all about me, after all, and we should talk about MY disabilities.

I am fortunate. I really don't have any serious disabilities, but I can sure relate!

Some people say that I am hard to understand. If I didn't have my Alpha to be my translator, maybe they could be right. To the untrained ear, a bark is a bark is a bark. Wimpy delivery guys can't seem to tell that I'm just asking them to play, and not warning them that I am going to bite. And a whine is a whine is a whine. If it weren't for the patient (right now Abigail is reading this and saying "Patient?! Who?!" HAHA!) and almost prescient way that Alpha listens to me, I might not be able to get everything I want. I'm very lucky that way.

I'm also very small. We talked about that size discrimination thing just the other day, didn't we?

If it weren't for the fact that she always helps me to get what I....WAIT.

I want THAT! SQUIRL!!

Alpha? Squirl, please.

Want. Want. Wantwantwantwantwant. Uhh, uhh, uh. Can't....reach....WANT.

Squirrel?

Want.

 

Uh, uhhh. *sniff* WANT.

Ehhh?

Mmmm. Wannnnnnnnt.

WHAT.THE.FUUUUHHHH? How did I get up here?

Owwwwww. Too hiiiiiiiiigh. And slipperyyyyyyyyy.

HALP?

Also, BARK BARK BARK BARKBARKBARKbarkbarkBARK! which translated in this instance means: If you are hard of hearing or late deafened, if you have tinnitus, or if you have any other disability that calls for a need for instant speech-to-text translation (ALSO KNOWN AS CAPTIONS or CART), make your voice heard! Ask for -- no, demand -- captions and CART. You are entitled to it, and you shouldn't take no for an answer. Stop letting those conference organizers and college disability benefits adminstrators play coy and like they don't know what it is  -- although some of them really DON'T -- in which case, EDUCATE THEM! And stop letting them hide behind dollar signs. Yes, it costs money, but so does every other accommodation, and there are creative ways to get it paid for. Alpha talked about one example here.

And shame on some of them for hiding their knowledge of its availability, and for not telling people that the service is available of their own volition -- or the very tippy-top of the worst violation of all -- for denying it when it's legitimately requested. Shame, shame, shame.

Highly skilled, well-trained people like Alpha are sitting around a lot of the time waiting for the phone to ring and their skills are being wasted, because not enough people ask for CART and captioning. They are ready, willing, and able to serve you.

Join the CCAC and get active. And ASK FOR CART so that you can take part in society and grow and learn and enjoy life! It's not outside your reach, like my little squirrel sometimes is. It's right there for the asking!

Tell them My Alpha said so. RrrrUFF! 

Love,

 

Mr. Jefferies

----

*choots-pah

 

A Facebook Conversation Gone Wild

...with apologies for the bad formatting. I was definitely having challenges with the print screen function and cutting and pasting and pulling it into the blog....

             

(Before I made good on my threat to post this, I got the permission of [most of] those involved.) 

 

 

There's A Downside To These Shoes When Used On A Stony Trail

Before I bought these Nike Free Run + running shoes, I read some reviews, and this was a known issue. Those reviewers said that they can feel the stones. I don't feel them, but that could be because I use Superfeet inserts* in the shoes. I do worry that this problem with the stones is going to quickly wear the shoes out, though. It's not an issue when I run on pavement or the track, but that is rare now. I prefer the stoned path for many reasons, and that's where I tend to run. Liking where you run might just be half the battle.

I'm still not running marathongs (<----- typo purposely left because it cracked me up), but the Nike Frees, when combined with the Superfeet inserts, seem very much the right shoes for me. My comfort, stride, and gait seem so much more elegant and natural to me -- and I feel so much lighter on my feet and more in control -- in them than in the many other versions of heavily engineered running shoes I have tried in the past.**

I may not yet be a gazelle out there, but at least I am not clunking along, the way I did in all those other shoes. Sadly, the Free Run +'s have been discontinued and replaced with a "2" model that doesn't quite fit me right. I learned that in time before they were all cleared from the stores, and was able to snag an extra pair to have in reserve, though.

Yesterday was brutally hot, but I managed to make it through Week 6 Run 1 of the C25K program. I got a hamstring cramp in the last 5-minute run portion, and, true story: I decided to imagine that the guy who was walking behind me was a psycho polygamist serial killer (Thank you, all those awesome Dexter and Big Love episodes!), and I had to run away from him. Would a hamstring cramp and a little bit of heat keep you from running from a psycho polygamist serial killer? I think not. 

Anyhoo, even without my weird imaginings, I am making slow, steady progress again, after getting back to it following the mysterious incident with the ankle that occurred back in May. When that happened, I was on Week 7. Almost back there, and it feels great!

----

*Superfeet inserts have been life-changing for me, so much so that when Abigail asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I said I just want another pair of Superfeet, so I don't have to keep switching them out from my running shoes to my hiking boots that I use for gardening. She obliged (yay Abigail!) and now I'm the thankful owner of two pairs of green (the ones for high-impact activities) Superfeet. 

**(Having read Cari's post of yesterday, I am reminded that I need to say that a) I bought my own shoes and inserts, and b) I am not being paid to say this.)

Oh HONEY! You Are So SWEET!

A package arrived at my doorstep yesterday morning, and inside it was this:

A jar of honey from the bees that work the garden of my sweet friends Margene and Smith, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

A more meaningful and thoughtful gift I cannot imagine. I can't wait to have some in my pre-run breakfast drink this morning -- sweet and natural fuel for my run from across the miles. 

Thank you, my dear Margene and Smith! 

Facebook Privacy Tip

Just Because The Title Is Wrong Doesn't Mean I Don't Want This Book

Not that I need it, but still. I have the original (the real, the pure, the true -- the one that gives me as much glee and constant pleasure -- for I think the same reasons -- as some knitters get out of E.Z.), and I have the other fun one, Spunk & Bite, so I think I should round out my collection with The Elements of Fucking Style. Especially since it has the word "fucking" in it, and anything that bothers people who get their knickers in a twist over that word is fine by me.

I just wish the title were "The Fucking Elements of Style," because the way it's written, it sounds like a style of intercourse. Wonder who the fucking editors were of that.

Terrier Tuesday -- Happy Birthday Edition

Dear Readers,

Well, I don't know what all that was about yesterday, but I do know that Alpha was cackling a lot and raising her eyebrows a lot. I heard her say to her sister that all of the stories of first meetings were SO risque -- not ONE person claimed to have met in a calm, ordinary manner. Again, no clue what that all means.

I do know it was her birthday. She kept on saying it.

MINE IS TOMORROW! I WILL BE THREE!

But she got ME two new toys for HER birthday... Here are some pictures of one of them, which is very interesting because it comes with a velcro closure in the back and an extra squeaker to put in! 

Which Alpha says is pretty cool, because we dogs like to kill the toys and take out the squeaker.

And her point is? 

Isn't it cute? 

I needed it, because that Lucy dog chewed up all my squeaky toys on the weekend!!! The nerve of that dog! The NERVE! I tried to stop her, but my size is against me. 

Speaking of my size, I am really weenie. Everybody says so.

I don't have a problem with that.

Do YOU?!

Marie, this weekend, said to Alpha, "The pictures in your blog make him look so much bigger, and his personality makes him seem so much bigger!" And yeah, people keep saying that, and keep saying that they are not prepared for how little I am when they finally meet me in person. 

I'm just saying to prepare yourself, is all.

Good things come in small packages. Just remember that.

Love,

 

Mr. Jefferies

 

I Am 52

Up until just a few months ago, I felt like 52 going on 29. 

Right lately, though, I've sort of felt like 52 going on 72. The stiff, achy joints; the sore, tight back; the sore knee -- oy oy oy! When working in the garden, I'm a completely different person than I used to be. It HURTS! I can't reach that zucchini to cut it! I can't bend down to pull those weeds!

This is a rude awakening like no other to me. I was always so critical of people who were "too lazy" to "work hard" and "stay in shape."  

Hell's bells.

I'm lucky compared to many. I don't have Type II diabetes (or anything close to it), I don't have hot flashes (knock wood) or many of the other ailments so common to so many my age. I'm not dead, as are some of my high school classmates. But I do have those blood lipid issues lurking in the background, and I'd better damn well perk up and get rid of these aches and pains. I could have another 45 or 50 years to live, if my genes are any indication, and I don't intend to live them not well.

My name is Norma and I'm middle-aged: Hair dye needed, calorie-counting needed, fiber intake monitoring needed, anti-wrinkle cream needed, no more getting asked for my ID when I buy alcohol.

Sigh.

[sh]It happens, despite our best intentions.

Anyway! I'm not intending to get all morose on ya or anything. My mom's birthday was two days ago, and yesterday I took her out to see Midnight In Paris and to eat French-inspired food at Leunigs (I had beef bourguignon). It was ten freakin' flavors of awesome, all of it. Truth be told, it was just as much my present to myself as it was my present to her. (Bonus!) I wouldn't mind a do-over of the whole thing, in fact.

Here, do this for my birthday: I've adapted it from a meme I've seen on Facebook. 

I would like my friends to comment on this post, sharing how you met me. But I want you to LIE. That's right, just make it up. 

Let's see how creative you are, and how much you can make me laugh. Laughter is the best medicine, after all.

 

 

 

 

 

This Weekend Was For The Dogs

We had company over the weekend, and I can't believe I didn't get any photos. There were so many photo ops, but the camera was out of reach. There was my Android and our guests' two iPhones always handy, but somehow we still didn't manage. 

Our nephew Alex and his fiancée Marie came to visit with their 10-month-old pup Lucy. Lucy is a gentle soul who already knows some pretty impressive tricks.

She was a perfectly mellow companion for Mr. Jefferies. At least that was MY opinion. Mr. Jefferies' opinion, as you might expect, was a little bit different. She chewed up his TOYS. And he did not LIKE THAT. She stole toys right out of his MOUTH! Plus, Alpha was petting her!

Also: "Is she going to stay here PERMANENTLY?" 

Also: "Grr." 

And yet: "Hey, wanna play?"

"Hey, wanna snuggle?"

"Here, I'll just eat your food, OK?"

He was a little bit confused by the whole situation and was pretty relieved when she left and he had his domain all back to his Yorkie self.

Marie and I went for a run together on the Rail Trail this morning, and Lucy came along with us. While Lucy's parentage is completely unknown, as far as I can tell, she looks and acts like a Greyhound-Black Lab mix.I love to observe the different traits of different breeds. She was so happy on the running trail, and constantly searched for places to leave the trail and run alongside. She was happiest running like a gazelle in trees, when she could. It was quite beautiful. She would leave for a few seconds, and circle back to check on us frequently, never really leaving our sight (or us, hers). 

It turned out to be "Family Fitness Day" on the trail, so there were loads of people and kids. Lucy was just awesome. She was off leash, and I fully expected some over-protective parent to freak out unnecessarily, but there was no need. Lucy just ambled along, ignoring and seemingly oblivious to the people, and constantly checked in with us. Wouldn't it be great if all dogs were like this?

Poor Alex, though, who was walking along far behind us at a slow pace because he only had on his flip-flops, was suffering a bit of a crisis of which we were unaware. He thought he had lost Lucy. He didn't know that she was with us the whole time. So when we were running back, Lucy along with us, people were asking us, "Is that your dog? There is a lost black dog that someone is looking for."

Aww. Poor guy.

But anyway, it was a case of Marie keeping me accountable with the running thing, and it was a very good thing. It was a very successful run for me, and I followed it up with much, much stretching. The stretching took twice as long as the run did, and it was worth it. My back pain seems to have abated. Mr. Jefferies took the opportunity to find safety under my bent knees while I was on the yoga mat, while Lucy gently played with him. Lucy has lovely manners and is clean and sweet.

In the end I think we both agree: Lucy can come stay with us anytime.

It Was A Social Media Vacation

I took a couple days off and withdrew from the world, from social media, even from Mr. Jefferies. He was not amused. He was pretty damn glad when I got home, I'll tell you that. 

While I was gone, some carpenters were working on replacing and repairing and releveling parts of the deck. Ahhhhhh, it's all clean and straight and white and beautiful.

Mind you, they are not finished all the work yet. But at least this part is finally done. I've been waiting for this for a lonnnnnng time. I just can't stop gazing at it. 

I also came home to find that the beautiful Stella D'Oro daylilies are open and there are pints of blueberries to be picked and broccoli to be harvested, among other things.

(The netting keeps the birds away.)

A lot of beautiful things can happen in a couple of days.

All this helps me to find a little bit of zen and keeps my mind off the fact that I also came home to find that the Japanese beetles are having a convention an orgy on the asparagus ferns. 

Fuckers.