My good friends the I Love Female Orgasm people came to titillate and entertain and educate the UVM crowd again the other night. I was so tired at the beginning of the event that I was pretty much on auto-pilot for the entire two hours, except for that middle part where I had to pee so bad I was all shades of red and I'm quite sure my autonomic nervous system was about ready to volcano, after I first had a brain aneurysm. I should not even joke about that, since I'm super-paranoid that that is how I'm going to die. But thank goodness they break out into groups, and while the males were filing back into the room, I ran against the tide of them, shouting to them, "Go slowly!" and I ran into the lady's room and had a pee while my friend Marshall kindly delayed things for a couple of minutes until I got back in my chair.
I'm not even sure if I made any bloopers or not. Seemed like I did OK, because I had a record number of kids come up to me after the show to ask how it is that I did that -- and also to ask if I were the one doing the Bo Burnham show. Really, a huge thank you goes out again to Bo Burnham for doing what he did -- he incorporated my captioning into his show and tried to stump me (I won). It was funny, and it was so great to finally let people know that it's done by a person and not a machine. I think I sort of have a crush on that poor kid. Cougartown, fo' sho'. Like, jail bait.
But yesterday I had to go out to get a new thumb drive, and I told a friend that I was headed to do that. Friend asked, "Is that a euphemism for something else?"
No. If I were going to talk about my vibrator, especially the very morning after the above-mentioned show, I would just go ahead and say so.