Terrier Tuesday -- Decorator Edition

Dear Readers,

Oh, for the love of Pete! A. Alpha's been going on and on and ON about the new room, and I'm just about tired of it. 

I will admit, however, that I do love the new sheets. They seem so much more comfy than the other ones for some reason. Nowadays she is often wondering where I am and comes to find me, and I'm just having a nice old snooze, curled up on the new orange bed. I like how the bed is situated now, so that I can see the door. I couldn't see it the way it was before, and that was unnerving. You never know what kind of monsters might be coming, and you also can't monitor what's going on in the whole house, which is an important part of my job. I particularly love the new green pillowcases -- they are very satiny and shiny and smooth against my nose and belly. Very soporific.

And so I think she is hitting the right note with some of her home dec changes.

Otherwise, though, I have a somewhat different sensibility than hers. In my opinion, she sometimes overlooks the obvious in her grandiose scheme. I am doing my part to rectify this.

My rules are simple and easy to remember:

1. A toy or three should always be on the bed just in case of need to play:

 

2. Rawhide chew bones, strategically, conveniently, and artfully placed in every corner, and about five feet apart along every wall, makes an excellent and homely (using the British definition of the word, of course) display. 

(Do not be alarmed. There is no real blood, only artificial coloring. This is intended to fool less smart dogs, and humans.)

 


I've heard A. Alpha say that the reason she loves the London subway system so much is that the stations are so close together that you can see the next station from almost every exit. It's very comforting, she says.

What a coincidence! I employ this same rule in my placement of chew bones. 

(Pardon the furniture pressure marks on the carpet. We are going to steam-clean this thing to get rid of those marks.) (Soon.) (Really.)

I wholeheartedly agree: There is a real sense of comfort in being able to see the next one from wherever you are. You always know that one is there in case of emergency or in case you get lost or bored, and you know exactly where your assets lie.

3. In decorating, she and I also agree about this: Triangles are always good.

Love,

Mr. Jefferies  

Comments

[Pam]

Mr. Jeffries: You are so right once again, and very wise with regard to the bone placement. What gets me is when my slave decides to unearth (really unpillow) my dental bone and put it some where else. Then after she moves it, she wants me to find it!! Keep up the good work. Your secret pal, Max

[sandy]

No newly decorated room isn't complete until there is dog/cat hair on the new sheets. Period.

[Mary Fran]

Clearly, she redecorated the room for you, Mr. J. No matter what she tries to tell us.

[Kym]

I am partial to chew bones under every couch and chair cushion, myself. It creates such an. . . air of tension . . . in the room. Your pal in panting, Jenny

[margene]

My two boys feel much the same way you do, Mr. J. You are a dog of very discriminating taste.

[Mary K. in Rockport]

Mr. Alert - tail, ears and eyebrows in upright position.

[Wanda in AR]

My Buddy and Maggie feel the same way about their toys.

[gayle]

Clearly you and A. Alpha could start a decorating business.

Alpha A and Mr J - design consultants

[Diane H.]

I love chewbone decorating!! So minimalist, so artful, so creative,
so.... je ne sais quoi...

Mr. J, that new terrier-size bed of yours if A+!!
Just let AA THINK it's a guest bedroom and you're all set.

[Leslie]

How very kind of A Alpha to give you your own room. And you are absolutely spot-on in your decorating concepts, Mr. J.

[Tammy]

Sadie & Gracie here. Our Alpha has no sense of style @ all and insists on moving our artful chewbone placements to a basket of all things. Then we have to re-decorate almost daily when she leaves for work. Gotta say Mr. Jeffries that you are one cute terrier (from 2 terrier girls) - do you have a fan club or facebook page? Cause we would so friend you. Maybe even you have a fan club? Just sayin'.

[Joannah]

Mr J,
Have you studied the art of feng shui? I'm worried that A Alpha is messing with some complicated, psychic energy something-or-other.

[Seanna Lea]

Wow. You have a ton of raw hide bones. Am I a bad doggie mama for not giving Victor anyhwere near as many bones as you have? I gave him 1 about 2 weeks ago, but he finished it ages ago!

[Kay]

Mr J, Tell A-Alpha my trick for getting rid of those furniture dents in the carpet: put an ice cube on each one. As the water soaks in, the carpet swells up, then dries. I saw this in Martha's magazine a long time ago and it always works.

Not that we don't need a little steam-cleaning around here, due to the DAWG. But the ice cubes do solve the dent issue.

xoxo Kay

[kmkat]

Your Bone Placement Strategy reminds me of a game my son told me about at NYU, called "Bucking", iirc. It involves going into a Starbucks in Manhattan for a whatever, then spotting the next 'bucks from the doorway and proceeding to that one. Etc.

It's good to know where your next [whatever] is coming from.

[evalyn]

You are obviously a terrier of both taste and style.

[Cookie]

That's a lot of chew toys...

[noonie]

I saw my Alpha do that trick with the ice cubes, she got cross when I kept trying to eat them. In the end she had to put cups over them.

I'm only allowed rawhide in the garden, apparently I am a messy eater, plus I never have any left to decorate with, I can demolish a large one in minutes.... Mum (my Alpha) walks around the pet shop muttering to herself... one minute, five minutes, thirty seconds... or snorts of derisive laughter at their toys and chews.

You are so lucky being allowed on the beds, I have to wait until my blanket is on a bed... sigh.

Love Jinx

[Lucia]

Now I know why my house is so cluttered: I don't have the world's cutest interior-design consultant. How much does he charge? If I have to ask I probably can't afford him.

[elizabeth a airhart]

lil ole pudding pie has made alphas screen
soppy wet see i cant even spell

[Birdsong]

We can all learn so much from the Mr. Jeffries School of Decorating. My dogs thank him for the suggestions, though they keep chewing up all their bones and I would find this style of decorating too costly.

[janna]

Mr. J, you are SO friggin' cute! Would you like to come visit me and my cats? February in Iowa is delightful....

[turtle]

luv the decor mr jefferies!

i just had to tell you that when we lost our 15 year old golden last spring it was so emotional that hubby said he couldn't go through that again. Well.... we have kind of started talking about a new family member. I have always had large dogs (huskies, wolves, malamutes, goldens) growing up, literally a sled-team. But Mr jeffereies caught my heart the other night in his post. What type of terrier is he? (there are sooo many breeds) I think i would love to adopt one of his distant cousins!

[Hester from Atlanta]

Reading Mr. Jeffries' posts makes me miss my two Carins, Lucky and Ms. Betty. Terriers are the most wonderful dogs!

[Best Furniture Designs]

Newly Decorated Things R Lovely...
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