1. I have developed what is known as a trigger thumb. It's not debilitating or seriously limiting or anything, but I am still not amused.
2. I have to do a little bit of reading this semester:
I don't have to read these cover to cover if I don't want to, but who wouldn't want to, especially if one is rather underemployed and can't knit due to injuries (see below) I've read The Handmaid's Tale previously, though I don't remember a thing about it, and there are a couple more I need to get that had not yet made their way into the bookstore. The courses: "Theory of Lyric" and "Canadian Postmodern." Fun Fact: UVM has a pretty impressive Canadian Studies Department, and one of the few in the country, I'm led to believe.
3. Last night I brought home a nice new soft and snuggly dog bed for Mr. Jefferies to sleep in on the floor in my office. He was thoroughly confused. He thought it was another minion. He tugged it, he chewed on it, he rolled it over, he even humped it (bad Mr. Jefferies!). Stupid me. Because you see: "Bed" means where Alpha Alpha's sleeping or sitting, stupid! And my office means that the definition of "bed" changes to "my lap, forearm, and with his nose firmly tucked inside my elbow while I knit or type."
Here is a picture of said soft, comfy, snuggly bed:
Please note that said bed is very lonely for lack of Yorkie companionship.
4. I have determined that the medical name for the condition I am suffering in my wrist, elbow & shoulder is: Mr. Jefferies Elbow Syndrome. It's sort of like thoracic outlet syndrome, but it's slightly different in that it is caused by the prolonged sleeping of a five-pound Yorkshire Terrier on one's arm.
5. Thus the misplaced gift of a new bed for the office, which is like, you might say, the latest medical treatment for Mr. Jefferies syndrome.
6. Said medical treatment is not working very well.
This arm is mine, all mine.
7. After a long day at work yesterday, I came home to a delightful surprise! Elaine had turned my old ripped skirt into something fantastically fantastic:
Look at the cute beach stone buttons, and the lining inside with an amazing array of pockets -- even one for a water bottle!
I don't know. Some people have more talent in their little fingernail than I'll ever hope to have in my entire body. I swear, it's embarrassing. I'm so excited about this bag, I can't tell you! My wonderful skirt is turned into my wonderful bag! I love it love it love it.
8. But wait. It was a bit like those Russian nesting dolls. Inside was ANOTHER bag!
9. As I was unwrapping this wonderful object with the dog-print lining, and with a card addressed to none other than Mr. Jefferies himself, I suddenly realized that the adoration that Mr. Jefferies was showering me with after my long day away at work was COMPLETELY SUPERFICIAL, the little ingrate! All that excitement to "see me" was not intended for me at ALL, but for what was in this package. His superior canine nose had already told him that there was SOMETHING INSIDE THIS BAG THAT WAS MUCH, MUCH BETTER than a stupid new dog bed or even Alpha-Alpha coming home from a long day at work.
Oh yes, there certainly was.
10. A big big huge bag of homemade dog treats, and bowWOW, are they delicious. Well, I can't testify to that; I didn't have any. I'm on a low-carb diet, ya know. But according to Mr. Jefferies, they are the bestest treats he's ever had IN.HIS.LIFE.
11. He spent the rest of the evening trying to trick me into giving him more, more, more. Well, when he wasn't doing this.
12. This is a little-known move in Ultimate Yorkie Wrestling circles called The Pin. It's very easy. You just plant your body weight on your opponent's elbow. It eliminates any weight advantage of the opponent, and totally incapacitates and immobilizes them. If they try to move, you do this:
...place your paws more firmly down on the elbow and give 'em the Sad Eyes. In the unlikely event that the Sad Eyes do not work, you should pull out the ultimate weapon: the Adoring Eyes.