To The Group of Six Students in the Bailey Howe Library Where I Was Sitting, and Trying to Work, Yesterday:

1. I am not impressed that you say you are pre-med.  (I'll be very surprised if you make it to med school, you obnoxious little twits. And before you do, you'd better sign up for a course that is marked, "GrowTheFuckUp101.")

1.a.  You are obnoxious little stinks, but you are not da shit.

2. I am even less impressed that you brag that two of your mothers are doctors. If you are acting this way in a university library, then your upbringing was defective, regardless of who your doting parents were.

3.  I am not fazed in the least by your liberal use of the words "shit" and "fuckin'."  I could soooo beat you on this one.  I'll teach you a few more if you want -- call me.  srsly.

4.  If you got a 43 on your first exam, NO, IT IS NOT THE PROFESSOR THAT IS CLEARLY FUCKED UP.  YOU are.  (Perhaps you could be using this time to study, instead of trash-talking your profs.)

4.a.  I wonder if you really think that by saying all this stuff increasingly more boldly and loudly and vigorously in front of an adult, that I somehow represent all adults, and this message will miraculously get to someone who you think should hear it, and all your problems will be taken care of so you can just get to the store to buy a new iPhone?   Egocentric101:  Contrary to what your wonderful parents have told you for 18 years, the world does NOT revolve around you.  

4.b.  I am soooo unimpressed with your sense of entitlement.

5.  Where did you grow up?  And where were your highly impressive doctor parents when they should have been teaching you some manners, humility, courtesy, and library etiquette?  

Etcetera.  (That is Latin for "You are over-privileged jerks.")

Bloody hell.  (That is a British expression that means "You are not even good enough to carry the bags of those OFA kids.")

There.  I feel a bit better.  But not as much better as I felt when I purposely overstayed my welcome in "your space" EVEN LONGER once I realized that you were trying to get me out of there.  For that, I had lots and LOTS of patience.  

Plus:  Thank you.  You gave me blog fodder.  

-----------------

Love and kisses,

The middle-aged lady who had the AUDACITY to sit in the chair next to you.  

-----------------

P.S.  Remind me never to set foot in that library again, where the large painted QUIET PLEASEs all over the place mean absolutely NOTHING AT ALL.  

Comments

[Trista]

You tell 'em Norma! I do not want to get on your bad side!
You are absolutely right from the sounds of it, and I do wish libraries were still quiet places. I haven't seen one lately myself, but I am talking about public ones, not campus. In fact I had a librarian tell me, here in Seattle, that "no talking" in the library is a thing of the past.

[Kristen]

You silly thing--libraries are for socializing, not work!! I mean, really!

I have a special place in my black, black heart for certain pre-med students. Especially the ones who come to my office screaming and hysterical about the C they got on the first exam in my class. "I CAN'T get a C in ART HISTORY!! I'm PRE-MED! This is ART HISTORY--NOT ORGANIC CHEMISTRY!" Thank you for sitting in my office and insulting the academic integrity of my field you dumb twit. FYI, this is NOT Intro to Walking and Chewing Gum at the Same Time. My class requires actual critical thinking and writing skills. My usual response is, "So don't get a C. Would you like to talk about how to study so you don't get a C in my class?" Harumph.

[Carol]

I wish you could actually say all these things to them and it would make a difference. The world has more and more of these types of people. Too many. Thanks for staying and purposely putting them off. Would have been a great time to take out the knitting and really settle in.

[Kathy]

I LOVE IT!!! I have been a PA (Physician Assistant) for years and work for the VA. Most VA hospitals are teaching hospitals, so we have oodles of med students and residents floating through. 99% of them act like they know EVERYTHING and there is nothing that anyone without 15 letters after their name can show them. Rarely do I get the student in my clinic who actually wants to learn and is appreciative for getting to see or assist in treating a patient with something very out-of-the-ordinary (which we tend to get quite a bit of at the VA). I love my job, but could do without these kids who have been raised to think they are doing us a favor by allowing us to share the same oxygen in a room as them. THANK YOU, NORMA, FOR GETTING THIS OUT THERE!!!

[Carolyn]

1. Beautifully well written! As the mother of two teenage daughters who will eventually be college students doing their work in a college library, I consider it my life mission to rid them of any of this behavior before they set out on their own into the world.

2. FYI, where I went to college (centuries ago ;-), the third floor was the place for getting work done. Floors 1 and 2 were for looking for that night's drinking buddy. Just sayin'.

[Kristine]

Beautiful, wonderful woman. I used to have tons of respect for doctors and med students until a.) I worked at a hospital for a year in a MICU unit as a secretary and b.) starting riding the bus through most of the dorm areas. Holy crap have I heard some ridiculous stuff on the bus this year. My favorite was the pre-med kid who was choosing his specialty because it would require him to be in school longer, avoid residency and "basically avoid making any grown-up choices" in his life. Best of all? This was said clearly to impress the girl sitting with him. And, sadly, looked like it worked. I wanted to reach forward and dope smack the both of them.

Ah, life in a college town.

[Julie]

Don't hold back, Norma; tell us how you really feel ;-)

[Carole]

Where was the fuckin librarian?

[Joansie]

Well, some of those students must be down the hall from me coming out of Gross Anatomy. They could care less that I am trying to go down the hallway with my walking stick and bowl me over with their backpacks and not move an inch so that I don't trip over their books and bags on the floor.

I must say, however, occasionally one will hold the door open for me or say "Good Morning" but this year's crop seems to not have any manners.

I hope you complained to whoever is in charge of the library as Bailey Howe really is a great library.

[Nora]

LMAO at Carole... I always got a kick out of the students who liked to say they were "pre" anything (pre-med, pre-law). Really, WTF does that mean, other than that these kids are waaaayyyy too full of themselves? You can go to med school or law school with almost any major under your belt. And if they don't grow up and stop getting 43s on their exams, they're looking at spending their days asking "do you want fries with that?" instead of talking smack in the library.

[gale (she shoots sheep shots)]

You are da shit, Norma!

and, what Carole said.

[kathy]

Thank you Norma. As they say, youth is wasted on the young. Ever see Good Will Hunting? This whole scenario makes me think of Wlll getting the girl's phone number and he goes back to the pompous ass in the window and asks him if he likes apples...then slams the number up on the glass and says "how do ya like them apples?" We use that line a lot.

[Adelaide]

How do I spell the sound of applause without using the word "clap" which could be misconstrued?

Cheer!! Cheer!! Cheer!!

[Renee]

No idea, they seem to be this moronic and rude going into 9th grade already. I'll happily smack of them with you. Respect doesn't exist in their lives.

[cindycindy]

What makes me feel that it's a crying shame(because we will always have idiots like that) is that they completely miss nuance. Your subtlety was hysterical and completely lost on them. At least we got to enjoy it. Thanks.

[Marilyn]

I think kids are praised too much. Every little thing they do gets applause and it carries with them all through life. Having too much money is usually not a good thing either...

Sounds like this group were absolute snots!

[Kathy]

Those guys got nothin' on trash-talking law school students. (From what I remember from back in the day -- present-day NYC law student excluded of course!)

[margene]

Isn't there a librarian to complain to? Carole wouldn't put up with that shit!

[Kym]

Ah, they are so ignorant. So clueless. So utterly annoying. Totally rough around the edges. "Growing up" is hard to do -- and even harder to stand by and watch (or listen to).

[marie in florida]

and further more; i do not wish to sit at the bus stop with y'all and listen to you tell each other about looking up the answers to the questions on google during class quizzes. ya just might be MY doctor someday and that worries me.

[Robby]

Here, here!

We are without kids, but I have contact with about a dozen or so teens (some related to me). It's funny to hear how their parents complain about their behavior, language, attitude, etc. Yet, when I spend time with them one-on-one, I find them to be kind, thoughtful, bright and witty. I think that some kids are just going through the teens, and some have parents that haven't made them feel valued in important ways so they feel they must make themselves appear valuable to others. If only they knew the part they try to hide is what will help them get ahead and lead happy lives in the 60-some years after they turn 20.

[Marcia]

Go, Norma! (I think you should print out copies of this post and carry them with you next trip to the library....just in case.)

[gayle]

Don't get me started. That sense of entitlement isn't limited to pre-med students. There's a large chunk of humanity that I would love to bitch-slap. Repeatedly. They're just tornadoeing through life like they fully expect mama to be following behind them cleaning up the mess.

[Adrienne]

The librarian's job is not to shush people. But they will if you ask them nicely.
Also, most libraries have quiet areas, where it really is quiet and people will give you the evil eye if you make noise.

I work in a University library and after much observation of this kind of behavior, it's really just sad and pathetic. These kids just want to think they are so great and special and many of them have been told that all their lives. Really they're just another small fish in a big pond, and they're finding that out for the first time in college. It makes them defensive which makes them act like above, because heaven forbid anyone should see through that act.

[sueinithaca]

bwahahaha! The huz has recently taken on an administrative position in his department - Director of Undergraduate Studies. It means that, in addition to working with grad students, research, teaching, and admin work, he gets to deal with those kids all day long. It's hard not to laugh out loud at the e-mails they send him - usually complaining that some professor or another gave them a poor grade in a class they need for their major (his dept, physics, offers a lots of classes that are required by engineering ad pre-med sequences, but the kids feel they're useless and a waste of their valuable time). The audacity of these kids is stunning. Their grammar is shocking. I'm fond of muttering "this is why you didn't get into Harvard, fuckwit" whenever they jaywalk or piss and moan about having too many tests in one week.

[Joannah]

I heartily agreed with your definition of "bloody hell". The students who actually are doing amazing things rarely seem to have entitlement issues. Conversely, the students who suffer from entitlement are at risk of not doing amazing things. It's a shame really.

[Ally]

Hey now. I think that some of the commenters above might have forgotten that you work with medical students and actually LIKE us a little ;-) We're not all bad, trust me. Most of us are extremely thankful that we made it to med school, and we try our hardest to meet all of the expectations in lecture and on the wards. We are expected to kiss the ass of every doctor, nurse, PA etc. who thinks they're the shit, and we're expected to smile when they crap on us. And we still love what we're doing, because we know we're lucky to be here, and we know we're making a difference in our own small way (and learning a lot in the process). I'm not saying there's any excuse for the behavior that Norma witnessed in the library... I'm just saying that it can't be generalized to all medical students. I was proud to be pre-med, because I had worked hard to get to that point. And I am proud to be a medical student because I haven't given up and I am chasing my dream. It IS possible to be proud and appreciative, because I'm both. I think a lot of my colleagues feel the same way. One more thing... I have met just as many unbelievably immature 30+ adults as I have 30 and below. The people who are rude and immature 20-somethings grow up to be rude and immature 30-somethings, and so on.

[marianne]

Yes, Norma, you ARE da shit. This crazy sense of entitlement so many are lugging around with them, it astounds me but it also has me believing this is one of the reasons our country is in shambles. and wishing wolves would volunteer to raise 'some' human beings because evidently their parents did a fucking horrid job of it (and still do). Plus ditto to what cindycindy wrote :^)

[Mary Fran]

I hate people sometimes. I really hate people who get on the commuter rail and TALK. Seriously. Trains are quiet. I make my kids be quiet if they are with me so people can read, etc. All those people turning and glaring at you? It means "ZIP IT". Take a hint. God, I hope we are raising our kids to be better than that. Seems so, or else all those strangers who stop us to compliment their behavior are just blowing sunshine up my...

[Vicki]

You are da shit!

[regina]

Civility in public places has just disappeared: *poof!* It's so sad, and I don't know when it happened, or how it happened, but you're right. People have become obscenely selfish and entitled, and though this may be oversimplifying it, I think technology is to blame for a lot of it. Once everyone had VCRs and DVD players at home, they forgot that it's not ok to talk loudly in a movie theater or during a play. Once everyone got cell phones and suddenly had the ability to yammer on about nothing -- or, conversely, about the most intimate details of their lives -- anywhere, all sense of propriety went out the window. The supposed anonymity that the internet offers has emboldened a lot of people, as have countless videos of people behaving badly on YouTube, and suddenly a lot of behavior that was previously considered unacceptable has come to be seen as "cool" by some. OK, it's official: I have become old, cranky and curmudgeonly. But at least my children know how to behave in public.

[LaurieM]

I strongly believe that the bravado and disrespect comes from a place of deep insecurity and fear. Not to excuse the behavior, but it certainly makes me feel sorry for the kids who display it. Kids raised with parents that gave them a secure sense of self and an accurate picture of reality don't need to loudly and rudely assert themselves this way.

[Carrie]

My love, next time I want to you turn to them and in the sweetest voice you can muster, say, "I know you're trying to shock me with your language, but could you please shut the fuck up? I have important work to do for students who will actually MAKE it to med school."

[Wendy]

I love you. :-)

[JudithinNYC]

I love you too, Norma! Your story reminded me of my experience with undergrads. When I was going to law school way back in the dark ages, undergrads used to invade our library (and empty classrooms at night). Mostly girls, all giggly and carrying fucking Big Gulps. We used to make fun of the Big Gulps. Luckily for me I had won a private carrel in the library lottery and could escape to the third floor.

On the same vein of kids trying to shock adults--one time this male undergrad wearing a leather harness and being led around by a girl (not in the law school this time, hee hee)got mad at me for looking and told me "Fuck you!" I think I damaged him for life when I answered him back: "Are you offering? "Cause I could always use a good fuck." God, I used to be full of piss and vinegar, whatever happened to me?

Anyway, Norma, thank you for your posts. Yesterday I was all happy and you made me cry (but in a good way) and today I was crying and you made me laugh.

[Cookie]

Blimey.

Talk about trying to shock the wrong person. I love Carrie's idea, btw.

[Becky in VT]

Hmm, I tutored a few pre-meds like that when I was at UVM. I always knew when the first exams had been handed back because I'd get a flood of kids I hadn't seen at all during the first month who wanted me to magically teach them to get better scores without having to study.

No wait, at least the ones I tutored cared enough to GET a tutor, even if they didn't listen to me...

[Catherine]

So, I am guessing that this is not the case in this particular instance, but I took a class once in college where the HIGHEST grade on the midterm was a 23/100, none of the undergrads in the half grad half undergrad class broke into the double digits. In that case it was most definitely the professor who was screwed up, not us. Just sayin'.

[Doris]

I love you Norma! And I love Carole too. I am so tired of rude people...and they are everywhere these days. I was in a restaurant next to a group of college brats (and I have a 22 and a 24 year old and they'd better not EVER behave this way...although I don't think they would because I raised them better than that)who had no regard for the 4 and 6 year old kids sitting very nearby as they liberally used the words fuck and shit. I don't care if they use the words...but there is a time and place for everything. Who is raising these monsters?

[kmkat]

I am toying with sending this post to #1 son, the med school student. I'm pretty sure he would not act like those idiots -- he has complained to us about the entitled East Coast yuppie puppies he has encountered during his post-secondary years.

Unfortunately, many med students will never outgrow that sense of "I'm better than you". #1 said that he got very tired of every single faculty starting out his lecture by telling the students why his specialty was the very best, the most beneficial to humankind, and attracted only the very smartest doctors. Yeah, right.

You should type up Carrie's response and carry a few copies in your pocket. Drop them on the desk of obnoxious students as you leave.

[Kathode Ray Tube]

I sure hope my boys never behave this way when they go to college. Sounds pretty awful. There's a lot of massive insecurity in that library!!

[Sunnyknitter]

A friend and I were just having a conversation about entitlement this weekend. I just wonder what their parents were thinking as they were growing up as they so clearly must have reinforced bad behavior to begin with for it to get to this stage.
My friend was telling me there are parents that actually take job interviews for their children now or go with them to the interview. WTF?!!! I'd have been mortified if my mother went to a job interview.
I love that you just stayed there and I agree, you need to carry Carrie's response with you. Sad that it will probably be needed!

[Sara]

Norma, it could have been worse. You could have been a FAT middle-aged lady. I am a college writing tutor and I've met a lot of these kids. They want me to cheat for them, generally outright, or at least carry them through the hard bits. Weirdly they also think they'll have earned the grade they'll get. (No, I don't do it.)

All the same, it's hard not to feel sorry for the little snots. Their achievement and material well-being has been the focus of their parents' lives for nearly two decades. Living up to the investment must be brutal. Plus, they are not free to choose their lives. Ever.

[Beebs]

Don'cha just wish you could magically make them walk in the shoes, live in the heart, soul and mind, of any one of the OFA students? For just a day.... well, hell, if you're wishing, lets make it a month or a semester, or even a full year. And then see how they view the world. Jerks.

And, ditto what Carrie said..... Please?

[Sheila]

Never mind the students, take a look at the parents! I usher at a local venue where dance recitals are held frequently and the attitude of the parents is shocking. They all want front row because "my kid is up next" and they have no respect for orderly conduct. They think nothing of abusing us volunteers and all think that their child is God's gift to dance. And it's not just the dance groups either. We do a lot of high school/college graduations and it's the same thing. The parents are the worst offenders for modelling bad behaviour to their children. They think they are entitled to tell us volunteers to "shut the fuck up and don't tell me what to do or where to sit" just because they paid xxx number of dollars for the ticket. How are children going to behave differently when they see their parents behaving like 2 yr. olds without a nap?

[Jean E.]

What Beebs said. Including the Carrie ditto.

[stephieknits]

I work as an office manager in a guitar school. It is always the attitude of the parents that blow me away, the entitlement attitude. Then they turn around and complain about their kids having that attitude. Go Norma, Go Norma!

[Kayten]

You really must take copies of this post with you to hand out as necessary. Marcia has the right idea. My grandkids are always shocked when I call them on the carpet. I'm not the always doting type. As they get older, they respect me, though, and we have real conversations.

[Holly]

Nope, definitely not knitting any scarves for them! Not even FUN FUR!

[elizabeth a airhart]

the words seem to be every where

listen to the words during the health care debate

we really are wordless in so many ways

just be becareful this seems to be tinder box time