I Swear, I am a Magnet for The Weird...and other Monday Musings

At 12:03 a.m. Sunday, the entire household was sound asleep, all of our lights were off, and .... what was that?  Mr. Jefferies has bounded off the bed, he is barking, and it seems like we heard something, too.  As the fuzz starts to clear, we wonder, "Was that the doorbell?"  But it doesn't seem possible.  Then we realize there is a car in our driveway, with the lights on.  Yes, we decide we think the back doorbell rang.  And then the front doorbell rings (the back doorbell is one ring, the front is a double ring).  

It's the most disorienting thing, and upsetting.  And Mr. Jefferies is barking, I'm trying to calm him down, and we're both wondering, "Who could this BE at this hour?"  

David's eyes finally adjust to the darkness and the car lights enough that he is able to identify the car as a St. Albans City police cruiser.  Hm. One of David's positions is as the State's Attorney (in other states, this is often referred to as "District Attorney") for the adjoining county.  Once in a while the State Police have to visit, but normally they call first.  S.A. City PD is not within his jurisdiction, but it's conceivable that the Franklin County S.A., who lives on our street, was maybe not available or something, and they might call on David to answer an important question. Not too far-fetched, but STILL.  The doorbell in the middle of the night, when we are clearly asleep?  Do I need to tell you the shivers that were going through my entire body at that point?  This can only be bad news of the most excruciating, gut-wrenching, pulling-fingernails-out-by-their-sockets kind.  I'm nearly throwing up.

So David pulls himself together and gets dressed and goes to the back door.  I had opened a window and the police officer said, "Hi, sorry to bother you so late.  City Police," which then sent Mr. Jefferies into paroxysmal barking, understandably so -- cripes, *I* was nearly barking at that point, and I'm not even a canine. 

David talked to her for a while, and then comes back upstairs.  I ask him what was THAT all about.  "Well," he said, "she said that there's been some vandalism in the area.  The State Police called the City Police to say that they saw some kids spray-painting mailboxes, and she wanted to assure us that they were investigating it."

I kid you not. 

a) That must be one very bored police department;

b) How inSENSITIVE can they be?  A visit in the middle of the night from a police officer should be reserved for something like "Your son was killed in Iraq."  "Your spouse was in a horrible automobile accident."  "Your house is on fire." "There is a bomb in your mailbox, but don't worry -- our crack team is going to disarm it."  Even, "There is a homicidal psychopath on the loose.  Keep your doors locked."  NOT "Somebody spray-painted some mailboxes in your neighborhood."  

I made a written complaint to the Chief of Police.  David made me sanitize it by editing a lot of what I wanted to say out of it.  

Fucking lawyers. 

That's one reason I'm glad I have the blog.  Nobody censors me here. Nobody'd better even DARE.

So, first the black cat incident, and then this.  

And then yesterday Mr. Jefferies was sick all day.  I was forced to lie low myself, taking care of him, and we're going to need to see the vet today, I fear. 

Comments

[Sarah]

After the shock wore off, I think I would be pretty livid.

I hope Mr. Jefferies wakes up this morning ready to party as if there had been nothing wrong with him at all.

[Emma]

You couldn't make that up !
Hope that today is a better day for everyone.

[sandy]

see? They made Mr. J sick by waking him in the middle of the night and upsetting him so. The nerve, waking people over drivel.

[Jena (the yarn harpy)]

I am so sorry that you are having such a rough patch. That is ridiculous to show up at your house in the middle of the night that way and I agree, that should be reserved for emergencies only!
I hope Mr. J is quickly back to normal and that whatever is ailing him is easily remedied.

[Carole]

Doorbells in the middle of the night mean someone is dead. At least, that's what happened in my family. I'd have been terrified.

[Carol]

Unbelievable! There isn't a rant large enough to contain what I'd want to say to them for that. But I do hope that Mr. J gets better very soon!

[gayle]

Did they wake up everyone in the neighborhood? Or just you?
If they were going to wake everyone anyway, seems like they could have just cruised the street with a loudspeaker - just as annoying, but a lot less scary...

[Becky]

Maybe in this instance, it is your husband that it the weird magnet. Or, wait, maybe you are the weird magnet. Is your husband weird? That is bizarre. Sorry to hear about Mr. J. Hope he is fit as a fiddle today.

[AnnaMarie]

We had this happen once in Idaho. Cop at the door at 11 p.m., long after we had gone to bed. All house lights out, etc. Considering both of us were well armed when we answered the door and had to then tell the cop to "wait a minute" while we then disarmed I'm not sure who was keyed up more, him or us, but we also filed a complaint. It was something that easily could have been handled during business hours.

Is it just me or has manners and common sense been lacking in many areas lately?

Hopefully Mr. J is better this morning but if he isn't drinking then yes it's time for a vet visit. Fluids are vital especially in one so small.

[Renee]

Oh, I'd not have been editing my letter, no matter what my husband thought. I'd be livid!
Get well wishes to Mr Jeffries.

[Wanda in AR]

I agree a doorbell or a phone call in the middle of the night is for something serious. I would be PISSED off about it.

[Anne]

Good thing YOU didn't answer the door! I would have given them an earful. In fact, I probably would have made them wake up the police commissioner to give him/her an earful right there and then...

[Joansie]

Stupid cop!!!...and it would be a female...how embarassing!!

Hope Mr. Jeffries feels better. Keep us posted.

[Manise]

What the hell were they smokin'? I agree with Carole. Phone calls or doorbells in the middle of the night mean a tragedy has happened.

[Anne]

Yikes. Yeah. Bad juju.

Hope Mr. J is okay or even better today!

[sueinithaca]

Fucking lawyers, indeed. Hopefully you did, as long as you were up in the middle of the night.

(oh that was wildly inappropriate, but this morning's tasks have me punch drun kand I haven't even begun...)

[Annie]

I imagine trying to fall asleep after that worse kind of adrenaline rush was darn near impossible. Hope Mr. Jeffries recovers quickly from whatever ails him.

[Jean E.]

Holy crap. They really should not have done that to you. The thoughts that must have run through your mind until you knew the reason they were there. Hope Mr. J feels better soon!

[margene]

Some people don't think (I SWEAR). I could tell you stories just the past week of the same kind of silliness. Hope Mr. J is getting better and the vet can quickly fix any little thing that might be a problem. Give him a stitch from me.

[Kirsten]

Seriously? Over spray-painted mailboxes? Insane.

I hope Mr. Jeffries feels better soon!

[Cheryl S.]

How very bizarre! I wonder if they really wanted something ELSE, and used that as an excuse.

That reminds me of when I looked out of the window just after midnight one night when I was getting ready for bed, and there was a police car IN my front yard. Not in front of it. In it. On top of the irises. They'd chased down a minor criminal who was fleeing on foot, and nabbed him in my driveway.

[Joannah]

Some people have no sense of appropriate! Spray painted mailboxes do not warrant a house call after dark from the cops. Hope you and Mr. J. have a much better day.

[Kayten]

Don't like police visits anytime. Perhaps Mr. Jeffries was just nauseated by the night time activities? Hope he is better today. You don't have bittersweet or that nasty nightshade lurking in your garden, do you? I've had to monitor my intrepid 4 year old granddaughter closely during recent visits, extolling her not to eat ANY berries she finds this time of year. She loves to do the opposite of what's requested, so threats were involved. And the promise of dire consequences.

[Carrie]

I lived in Los Alamos, NM for two summers, and there, if you were driving around after about 10pm, you'd sometimes get pulled over because the cops were bored and wanted someone to talk to.

[Mary]

Well...if things happen in 3s? You're all set. (I'm not trying to be all Pollyanna or anything, but at least there that!)

[lisa]

I DO think that the officer's superior needs to know, chief of police, mayor, city manager, etc etc.... And how is this a good use of taxpayer dollars??? Yesterday the police were on the street for the neighbor's constantly loose dogs (we didn't call), but they never go to anybody else's door. And they don't come at the wee hours of dark, unless there's potential or real violence going on. But they also don't have much to do at other times. WXPN (in philadelphia) used to play this morning call in game, "cop or no cop"... wherein the station would call a donut shop and the caller in had to guess if there was a cop eating donuts in there or not. Most of the cops around here, and especially the state security folks, have clearly partaken of too many donuts.

[Mary Fran]

You have GOT to be kidding me. At midnight? Seriously? I love my poison pen and I would love to read the unedited version of your letter :)

[knitnana]

In St. Albans...this is high crime, right?
OMG.
Has your BP come down yet? That would probably do me in.
(Poor Mr. Jeffries! Get well, sweetie)
(((hugs)))

[Vicki]

Wow. This is the kind of thing that I just get madder and more worked up over the longer I think about it -- a good little stew! Worthy, I do believe. Best to Mr. J.

[Erika]

Sure they SAID they were going door-to-door to blah blah blah. I got five bucks says that's just a silly cover story.

[Donna]

I bet the original version of your letter to the Police Chief would be very entertaining reading...

[Seanna Lea]

I would have been pretty ticked, because once I am awake I don't fall back asleep for hours!

I hope Mr. J is feeling better. Poor little guy.

[Leslie]

But there was an escaped homicidal maniac loose last night - just not anywhere near Vermont...

Hope Mr. J. feels better and David addresses the issue personally with the SA Chief of Police.

f-ing lawyers! and YOU want to become one of THEM???

[Doris]

Having had the police ring our bell (actually they knocked on our door knocker) in the middle of the night because our son had been in a horrible car accident, I have to agree with Carole and Manise. They should never, ever, never ring a bell like that for something so trivial. I actually got the shakes just typing about being woken up for our son's accident, and that is exactly what would have gone through my mind. Good for you for sending a letter and too bad you had to sanitize it, although my husband would probably make me do the same.

[Lucia]

Oh, no, feel better, Mr. J! VERY silly police.

How big is Mr. J exactly? Our black cat Achilles weighs in at around 15 pounds, but I can swear that he was nowhere near your house the other night, unless he has awesome teleportation skills of which I'm not aware.

[Cookie]

FFS!

You should have sent David downstairs nekkid to deal with them.

I hope the doggie is feeling better today.

[tayloe]

WTF (note the capitals)with the police but enough about that... How is Mr. Jeffries?

[stephieknits]

Feel better Mr. Jeffries! (Watch out we are surrounded by idiots!)

[Rockzann]

Your title today was hilarious. I thought the exact same thing walking back to my office from lunch. I almost asked my admin assistant if I had a weirdo magnet on my back I didn't know about! Perfect timing.

Loves to Mr Jeffries, I hope he is doing better.

[Lorette]

That is just seriously odd. Lewey and Riley send get well wishes to Mr. Jeffries.

[elizabeth a airhart]

mercy!

[Kristen]

Jaw drops, eyes roll so far back you'd think I'll be asking for brains in a moment.

[Beebs]

And you're editing your letter because...... why? Stupid, dumb, moronic police.... your tax dollar, hard at work.
I sincerely hope Mr J is better.

[kathy]

Sounds like the office was drunk or something. That is whacko.

[janna]

That is insane! I take it the crime rate is really low, that they would think that this required a midnight visit. Or maybe they thought that your husband would want to know they were on top of it? Either way - insane...

Hope Mr. Jefferies is feeling better today!