Norma('s)(es)

I'm a little touchy right now.  Use my name, and bump me out of the top three hits in Google, and you'd better at least be good: 

This Norma I like, and she actually had the name before I did. My name is Norma with middle initial J., for my maiden name. Two judges I worked with for many years always called me Norma Jean. Though I tried, I never was able to sway them from their mistaken belief that Jean was my middle name.

No, some new Norma Knits character has not entered the scene and stolen my name.  Just a new slew, apparently, of overpriced restaurants with the name Norma's.  WHY, all of a sudden, is the name Norma's so in vogue for restaurants?  From what I can glean, the one in Manhattan is not new, but it is only just recently showing up on Google when searching for "Norma," so it must have just recently gotten a website or somehow padded the numbers so it shows up high under not just "Norma-apostrophe-s" but plain "Norma" as well.  Still not higher than the friggin' ammunition company with the same name (WTF?) and now a pipe coupling group?  HONESTLY!  Who the hell visits a pipe-coupling group's website?  Numbers are clearly being fudged here.  

But the restaurant in New York, and the fact that hardly anyone is reading my blog anymore, has bumped me down to about sixth on the totem pole.  I used to be able to brag, "Just Google Norma and there I'll be, about the third hit."  Not anymore.  My star has burned out.  Pfffffft.  Fizzzle, fizzle, sputter.  

That's all right.  Must be it's time to reinvent myself again.  Stay tuned. 

But I was intrigued.  We'll be going to New York soon, and while there, we will dine at Bobby Flay's restaurant Mesa Grill again, as we enjoyed it so much last time.  I thought, "Well, maybe we should go to Norma's, since I can't seem to avoid it, and see if it is ALL THAT."  

So I looked at some reviews.  They're mixed, except they all agree on one thing:  It's expensive.  But I did enjoy the following exchange that I read in a blog.  The blogger wrote that the restaurant didn't treat his/her child very well.  Even made the poor tyke drink o.j. from a paper cup!

(I apologize for the formatting issues, but it just.will.NOT.format correctly when I cut and paste it here, and Typepad will NOT allow me to indent it without in turn indenting my entire post, and it makes everything fugly as all get out.)  [FIXED due to Rachel's help.  Thanks, Rachel!]

But my big issue with Norma's? As their website claims...

Do we like kids? More than whipped cream.

Thing is, they sure don't act like they like kids (but judging by the menu, they sure like whipped cream). My 20-month old was given a rickety high chair, a paper cup from which to drink her juice from, and kind of brusque, disinterested service from our waiter. Generally, we found that in other restaurants that claim to be kid-friendly - Blue Smoke, Landmarc - the staff tended to be, well, friendly towards the kid; at Norma's the service was indifferent at best, and the maitre d' was especially chilly (perhaps because I wasn't in a suit-and-tie, although I think it was because his tie was too tight).

One of the blog's readers commented:

I love Norma's, but only when I'm in the mood to have a ridiculous, sweet, cavity-inducing breakfast (although I do like their foie gras french toast also). It's not gourmet food by any stretch, but I found the pricing pretty fair for what you get and the neighborhood, etc. I don't have kids, so I can't speak to the child-friendliness of the place, but knowing how crowded it can be I wouldn't think of it as an ideal place to bring a child that needs a high chair. As for the staff's indifference, well, I doubt that the management can dictate just how effusive their staff has to be when in the presence of children, and basic politeness is probably all that's "required." Not everyone likes kids (I SURE don't), and though I'm sure there are people that would have gone gaga over your little one, you may just have run into a few that are child-haters like me.

--------------------------

That just cracked me up and made my day, because, you see, we've recently had some abysmal experiences with children (and their clueless parents) in restaurants.  They ought to be banned.  Seriously.  They've banned smoking, and I often find that less offensive than people and their kids. 

We did, however, have one relatively charming experience with children in a restaurant.  And believe it or not, it was at another overpriced restaurant named Norma's.  I kid you not.  They're everywhere!  They're like locusts!  (Kids AND overpriced restaurants named Norma's.)

I don't have a lot of effusive praise about Norma's at the Topnotch.  Their cold soup sampler was interesting, cute (read: teeny) and pretty, but I didn't order it -- David did -- and he doesn't love cold soups much, not to mention big flowers floating in his food, the way I do -- so he would have a different review to offer, I suspect.  (The menu did not state that the soup sampler was cold, and none of the names were dead giveaways that it would be cold, so that part was a surprise.)  

I ordered a pomegranate martini which tasted like a cough drop and cost about 13 million dollars. I couldn't finish it.  Then again, every time I have ordered a flavored so-called martini anyplace (a Lemon Drop, for instance) I always think they taste like cough drops (and not in the good way), so I think it's possible that I just don't like martinis.  I say "so-called martini," because honestly, does anyone really believe that sweet chocolate-mint concoction (or whatever the latest iteration is) is really a martini?  But for the shape of the glass they are in, they bear absolutely no resemblance to martinis.  But I digress.

At Norma's at the Topnotch, I ordered a local heirloom tomato salad, and it was horrid.  Under-ripe, tasteless, pulpy tomatoes, cut in big chunks and piled up on the plate in what was an attempt at artful.  It has been just an awful year for tomatoes in Vermont, and I get that, oh yes I certainly do.  But then cut your losses.  Make it into soup or sauce or don't serve it.  Especially if you put a huge, hefty price tag on it.  The restaurant makes a large claim that it relies on local ingredients in season, but that salad was the only "local" thing on there, and for an outsider, it would not speak well of "local Vermont cuisine."  

The bread basket was awesome, and included some amazing cheese scones, but I shouldn't eat any of that (though I sure as hell did, for those prices).  Because the prices for everything else were so exorbitant, we ordered burgers.  Like $25 burgers.  (I actually can't be sure of that price, but whatever it was, it was way, way too high for a burger, especially in Vermont, even if it is in chichi Stowe.)  

Literally just down the hill from there, Abigail and I had stopped at a snowboarder-bum's burger joint a few days previous, and for $4 or thereabouts, we had the best burgers on homemade buns and the best fries and coleslaw ever -- easily up there in the top 5 burgers and fries I've ever had.  I overheard the guy behind the counter say he'd been schooled at the New England Culinary Institute, and it seemed entirely plausible, dude. You just gotta love Vermont.  

Norma's should be ashamed to charge what they do for admittedly a pretty nice burger, but at a steak price.  The steak on the menu, it wasn't even filet mignon OR local, and the price was blasphemous.

Anyhoo, how did I get distracted into giving a full restaurant review?  That wasn't the intent.  It was all about the kids.

While we were there, a couple arrived with two children, and were seated two tables over from us.  I groaned, because we had not long ago had to make a complaint when we took my mother out for dinner and the kids they seated next to us not only made it impossible to talk with each other, but came and got into my purse and nearly made me crazy.  That night we made a pledge to each other that from now on when we went to a restaurant, we would ask the host/hostess to not seat any children near us.  But there we were at a sort of fancy resort in Stowe, so it didn't occur to us that kids would show up.  Little did we know.

(Google "Norma's Sign" image, and this is one that comes up, taken at some other place called Norma's that I might actually like.)

One of the kids with the family was school age, and one clearly going through Terrible Twos.  But much to my surprise and pleasure, the mother was having NONE OF IT.  The mother refused to allow that child to act like an ass, and she wasn't embarrassed to discipline him (no, it was not abuse) until he stopped pounding his knife into the table and throwing things and grabbing things and knocking things over.  She got him under control and he acted like a civilized human being for the rest of the evening.  Imagine that.  I could almost die happy now.  

I knew something very plainly in a flash, and I said to David, "They're not Americans." (between the lines:  And thank GOD for that.) They were French or French Canadian.

Of course, the glowing moment took a different turn when, in the middle of the meal, the mother took the kids to the bathroom and the father started making eyes at me.  Yep.  French all right.  

Comments

[elizabeth a airhart]

i like you

[tayloe]

Norma-maybe its time to piggy-back your star on Mr. Jefferies! NO-You just shine too brightly on your own! Please don't do any re-inventing I just don't do well with change-Hey wait this was about you NOT me!

[Anne]

Ok - wait. No one reads you anymore? What herbal remedies, expensive or otherwise, have you been smoking in that hippie state you live in?

I have kid issues too.

[naomi]

Maybe it's because we all already know how to find you, even without Google?

[AnnaMarie]

Talk to your Utah buddies about undisciplined chidren in public, I'm sure they'll give you a huge earful! It was the same in Idaho.

Since I've moved here I have noticed a difference. Children in general are far better behaved than they were in Idaho. I have also noted that the Canadian children that I see are just a notch above in behavior, they are actually quite charming and polite and want to have a conversation (rest stops with the dogs usually). Perhaps they are practicing speaking English but I find it quite nice to interact with polite, well spoken children.

I still don't want one but they can be a lot of fun sometimes.

[Jenn C.]

Hey now, some of us American moms still know how to make our kids behave themselves in restaurants, thank you very much! (And that makes it all the more annoying when I go out to eat and there are parents allowing their kids to act like assholes. Grrrr.)

[Rachel]

Did you try copying the text into a notepad and then pasting it into your post?
It sometimes help getting rid of formatting that is otherwise hard to get rid of.

[Jean E.]

I would be in favor of kid free zones in restaurants! Also cell phone free zones.

[Marilyn]

I just googled norma and you are still on the first page. Small comfort? The 1st thing that came up though was Norma Precision ammunition from Sweden. And did you know there is a Norma opera and a Norma constellation??

[aubree]

as a mom of two little kids, we sometimes go out to eat because we just totally need the time out and we hope for a tantrum-free outing. sometimes the kids are great, and sometimes they aren't, and the times they aren't can usually be avoided. But I agree, and I have seen, parents who are clueless when it comes to controlling the kids--you don't bargain and and bribe--the parents are the boss and you'd better listen or else. parents are too afraid to be strict!

[Diane]

AMEN to Kid-Free Zones (KFZ) in restaurants! Going out for dinner with a loud, bratty, undisciplined parent/child combo in the vicinity - so unpleasant!
Moms, Dads: Learn to identify and correct unacceptable public behavior for kids or take it somewhere else like McD's, like a picnic in the park, like HOME!
Ok, I'm done now.

[Cathy]

OK--some of us American mothers also make sure our children are brought up to behave like civilized human beings. My son is 2, and he knows he'd better behave or there will be consequences. The last time he forced me to leave early (and pretty much the only time), he got dumped into the living room with his toys, gated in securely, and then I left the room. I was still in a room where I could hear him (in fact, in this room, beating the heck out of my weft on the loom) so he was in no danger, I was working out my frustrations, and he had figured out pretty fast that he had upset me, because he couldn't be around me. Far more recently, we went out as a family, and an older couple told us while we were leaving that they hadn't even realized there was a child over there. He'd been quiet and unobtrusive.

Then again, my son's an odd child--instead of the traditional terrible two tantrum of "No no no no no!" he does "No thank you, no thank you mommy, no thank you!"

[Nora]

LMAO.

People frequently think my name is "Norma." So much so that it has become my nickname in certain circles.

There was a Restaurant Nora in DC. I never made it, but people told me it was good...

Further your affiant sayeth not.

[ruth]

I read your blog.

[claudia]

Now I'm REALLY looking forward to Quebec.

[Cheryl S.]

Awwww. So sorry about your demotion.
But hey... I didn't know you were the Queen of Swing.

[Gerri]

I have seen the espresso/puppy sign and liked it--because I think it responds best. Doesn't punish the child for being a child but lets the adult know they should have chosen or planned or reacted differently.

Thanks to all you parents out there who work hard to raise the human beings who will care for me (please!!) in my old age.

No one reads you any more, Norma??? Does that mean I have to stop or I'm not cool? Noooooooooooooooooo!

[Mary Fran]

Love the no nonsense Mom. I have three monkeys and I pride myself on their behavior. When we go to public places, on airplanes, etc, I tell them to look around. There are PEOPLE here who might not appreciate you. Don't give them any ammunition. My kids learned that I'll pack them up and leave if they so much as climb out of their seats. Of course, now we have set our expectations so high, that even while they might seem good to the outsiders, if they aren't acting like 30 year olds in public, my husband and I get annoyed.

[kmkat]

Our kids were well-behaved in restaurants, and it was totally due to my husband. He is a firm-handed magician with kids.

Love the sign!

[Kayten]

When my kids were 18 months and 4 1/2 years old, we went to a fancy Japanese restaurant which has sadly gone out of business. Faces fell as we entered. My kids behaved impeccably due to to their familiarity with my response to their misbehavior either at home or while out. Every party in the room came over and complimented the kids when they were ready to leave. I won't say I had no concerns, but I was pretty confident. I think part of the problem these days is that no one has the kids long enough to say, "That is QUITE enough of that!" and then follow through with an appropriate response. I found if I threw around phrases like, "It would behoove you," or "Do you THINK that's OK?," my children would combine that with the expression on my face and toe the line. I feel sorry for many children these days who function with a sense of entitlement and no sense of community.
I read you every day and, fortunately, know where to find you.

[Jennifer B. / Brooklyn, NY]

Not to beat a dead horse, but I, too, am an American mother (living in NYC, no less) with a very well-behaved kid whom I've had no trouble taking to restaurants or other places. Of course, I've always avoided it when she was exhausted or so hungry she couldn't control herself or when she was obviously in a bad mood. I would extend the same courtesy to an adult for the same reasons.
That said, I too, am greatly aggravated by parents who allow their children free rein pretty much anywhere they could get hurt or where it's inappropriate to do so.
HOWEVER, for anyone who finds it acceptable to say that they "hate" children, please consider that they (children), too, are people, and that it is considered outrageous (not to mention bordering on illegal) to suggest that a restaurant have a "blacks- or Latinos-free zone" (or any other ethnicity / culture) because they find "them" loud or obnoxious. YES it is the same thing. Look around you: some people are very nice. Some people are jerks. There is no color or culture that determines it, nor any AGE. Much of it is in how we are raised.

[marie in florida]

i do understand what you mean about kids in restruants. my thought is always that i don't allow my kids to behave "that way" at home, even less in public. i blame chuckie cheeze type joints where a kid can be a kid and a parent can be unattentive.

[LaurieM]

Canadian kids run amok in restaurants too. Maybe just not as often.

I see more badly behaved kids in the grocery store. I just hate it when I see a kid whining for something and the parent gives it to them!! Rewarding that behaviour!

When my kids used to whine, I'd tell them, "I'm sorry but I can't give that to you now because if I do then you'll think that is the way to ask for something. And it's not."

[Mary K. in Rockport]

Reading (almost) every day in Rockport! I used to enjoy seeing certain moms in the supermarket, sailing along serenely and sweetly with the cart while behind them three or four children trashed the aisles. You knew those moms had just given up and were telling themselves, "Ignore, ignore, pretend they aren't mine. I exist on a higher plane than mere parenting."

[Gwen]

Heh. Sometimes I don't like my own kid very much. Especially when the time involves bad behaviour in public. (Love him, of course and always, in case I worry anyone)

No one reads you?

[marianne]

I love these kind of posts, and the comments generated :^) Love that sign too! I've requested 'move to a different table' (no matter what's on my table) to get as far away from misbehaving children as possible. Being the COB momma and grandma that I am, misbehaving out in public was not even an option and they learned this at tender young ages. Folks not practicing effective parenting on their children are basically asshats in my book, and doing their little ones no favours.
Needless to say, you're still my Number One Norma!

[Seanna Lea]

Umm, you are still above the fold in my google results, which puts you at result 5-8 depending on whether or not you are counting the annoying sub-results.

Pipe couplings sounds like willie warmer.

[Pat Vigen]

I'm a new reader, can't remember how I got here but you are now up at the top group of blogs in my favorites (see Yarn Harlot, Grumperina, Claudia....etc LOVE reading your adventures. I do a lot of perusing the net and mostly knitting related, so I may have gotten here via a search for something. Anyhoo it's a pleasure so don't go hiding on me.
Thanks, Pat

[Leslie]

I equate my dislike for being in the same public place as a squalling whining brat with the same dislike I feel for being in a public place with a loud, obnoxious drunk or boor or "holier than thou mother monster" - one who has kids who can do no wrong.

My mother raised my sister and me to behave in public. I did the same with mine. It's called common sense and common courtesy -- you didn't know I was all that common, did you?

[Cookie]

Please inform that Jennifer person that there is a difference between the color of one's skin and being a misbehaving/loud/rude minor. Some people...

Love the sign. Love you... and think it's a shame that so few people bother to actually parent their children. Such a dreadful trend in this country. Then again, what do we expect after eight long years with Bush.

Oh, and the people who matter read you. From the looks of today's comments, lots of people who don't read you, too.

xo

[gayle]

Do you need your thousands of admiring fans to google-bomb you?
Hovering over the keys....
(And I was raised to behave properly in public - and raised my kids the same way.)

[Kym]

My kids are "emerging adults" now (college and high school). . . but in their more, hmmmmm, shall we say volatile days. . . I just didn't take them to restaurants. When we did, I insisted they behave and not disturb others around us --- but that got to be a bit stressful for me sometimes. So, we just reserved "eating out" for my husband and I. When my kids were a bit older, and much more self-controlled, they got to join us. That worked for us.

[Renee]

I'm from Ontario and was recently in Quebec for the first time. Yep, rotten kids brought back under control by mom and roving eye-husbands. Hm???
You're still my favourite Norma, no matter where Google puts you!

[Robby]

I realize I don't get over here all the time, but now I'm 'no one' reading your blog? And I was about to do handsprings in agreement on the children in restaurants philosophy. We go to lunch son Sundays with two couples that have children. Each time we leave them, DH & I look at one another and the unspoken words are, "Thank goodness we didn't have children, and if we did they would be disciplined within an inch of their lives if they acted like that... anywhere!" But I'm still delighted about the not smoking campaign. I think a similar public outcry about children may be a tougher sell than Big Tobacco was. But feel free to post the petition.

[KTE]

I was on holiday. I'm catching up on blog posts. I wanna thank you for that wedding video dance thingie. What a FABULOUS idea. I grinned from ear to ear.
As for kids dining out....we stick to brunch at family friendly restos...hoping that the exposure will 'train' them to behave in other restaurants sooner rather than later. Plus - most kids behave better in the morning than they do at dinner. I WANT to be a family that dines out at nice places - so we're starting with that goal in mind.

[Sarah]

I am sorry you are a little touchy right now. That is not fun.

You made me think about my high school chemistry teacher. My middle name is Kay. She called me Mary Kay. Other people took to trying to correct her, but she was oblivious. I stopped caring about it, because it was clear that her mind was frequently elsewhere.

I've been looking at scarf patterns, and make a mental note when I see one that is good for the OFA project.

xo

[Chery]

I think the 'old' Norma has returned.... nice to have you back!

[funderbug]

Whoever came up with the frou frou "martini" (which I do happen to like, but give me a dirty martini any day...)was a marketing genius! Just look at how much they charge for those things just to serve them in a fancy glass.

[sandy]

Funny how names come into fashion again. There is no other Norma to me. None.
:)
LX

[Anita May]

As a tour guide in Europe for 5 years, I must take exception to your assuming that French children are more well-behaved than American children. French children are some of the most ill-behaved, rudest, sneakiest children on the face of the planet. And their accumen for "cutting in line" is next to none. It's not the children - it's the parenting, hands down. My hands were usually right down there on my children's backside when they misbehaved, be it in public or not.

By the way - I read your blog, every day!

[Mary]

Hmm, what timing...Just when I re-found you...bloglines beta is showing it's beta side very well by not picking your posts up...or other foks'. Maybe you'll be back by the time I finish stalking/playing catch up with everything you've been up to recently :).