Oh, Geez.

I did not mean for the final line of my last post to be left there dangling like that.  That's what I get for pre-writing posts.  That post was meant to be posted the day before, but then the whole Claudia hilarity ensued, so I redated it, but when I proofread it I missed that line.  Does that clear things up or make them muddier?  Probably a whole lot of needless information, but you must be tolerant -- I'm a fish out of water with the work having come practically to a screeching halt, and to add insult to injury, I'm kicking the can -- AGAIN.  For those just catching up, I mean the Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi (I love them both equally, with Diet Pepsi having a slight edge in the race) can.  I have fought an ongoing battle against my addictions to them for several years now.  So here we go with Attempt No. 1,388.  I really mean it this time -- No, I really DO.  (pfffft)

To that detoxifying end, I'm drinking copious amounts of water, green and black tea, herbal tea, yerba maté, and even some fruit juices.  I'm surprised I can even sit at the computer long enough to type, what with all that liquid going in. (What goes in must come out.)

So that's one reason why I did not finish my long Verizon story.  Another is I realize readers only have SO MUCH of an attention span.  Not to mention writers.  Sheesh.  I even pondered whether I was going to hit "publish" or just plain "delete".  But I decided the story must be told!  (I'm taking the piss out of myself here -- no pun intended.)  Honestly, I had nothing else to say, as I have heretofore mentioned, since I've got no crocuses to show.  I do have progress on my cardigan, but man is THAT boring to show.  You've seen one yoked knit-top-down cardigan in-progress photo, you've seen them all.  When it was just-slightly-less-than bolero length, I did put it on over my bare breasts to take a photo -- you know the kind I mean. You don't?  Well, think about it. But that's been done to death, and by women with perkier breasts and better home photo studio setups than mine.  I think I'd best stick with whatever it is that I do best.  (What is that, again?)

So. Where was I before the brain fuzz of detox set in?  Oh, yes!  The WINNER of the 2nd Chance Blogiversary Contest is:  Kate F. from Kentucky!  She said it made her Monday a little less pissificated.  (Wait, that's a word?  Spell check did not even flinch.  I suppose I should look it up, but I'm just going to leave it there.  It suits me, even if I'm not using it in the right context.)  I've got a sweet little package of goodies to send her.

What else?  Oh, yes, back to the BlackBerry story. 

After we became fast friends because I dropped the f-bomb on him, my BlackBerry guy (you don't mind if I call him my BlackBerry guy, do you?) asked someone with authority, I guess, if we could exchange that piece of crap (my words, not his) for something that might work.  He got the authority, and he said they'd transfer all the stuff for me if I'd come back in about a half hour.  This was good, since I had not had lunch yet, so I went out and came back.  I have a new unit which seems to work.  And also, since we were now budz, and I confided in him that, just like most things technical, I believe I am vastly underusing the BlackBerry -- mainly because I am paranoid that if I ask for something or download an app or something, that I'm going to get a new charge on my bill.  He set my mind at ease about that, saying that if that were going to happen, I'd be asked for a credit card number -- so download away! 

He asked if there was anything I'd like in particular.  Well, apart from, you know, a sugar daddy, for which I don't think there is a BlackBerry app (though I'd probably be surprised...) one thing I really wanted on my BlackBerry is Weatherbug or something similar.  Well, didn't he just go right ahead in front of my eyes and download a weather app for me (not Weatherbug, but about the same) and fix the settings for Burlington, etc. 

I had some questions about how some other things worked.  BlackBerry is INCREDIBLY nonintuitive and illogical, to my way of thinking.  Everything you want to do is hidden in a complicated menu that, once you know how to do it it's easy, but figuring it out will make you go bald everywhere but those private places that you have to wax.  Every time I want to know how to do something, I have to Google it or ask a friend who's had a BB longer than I.  He cleared up some things, but more importantly just with those words up above, "to set your mind at ease" about the billing thing, he gave me confidence to fool around with it once I got home and I got some settings changed and some things figured out. 

And I also Googled how to make the browser work.  That is another area on the BB that is CRAP.  The "browser" icon just kept taking me to how to add more email accounts, but did NOTHING else.  Hello, "browser" should mean I can BROWSE the INTERNET.  If I could ever get it to do anything else, it would be so slow and so cumbersome it was never worth it.  Ugh.  But in my research, I found the best little wonderful -- fast and sweet and clear and easy to run (and of course, developed in Norway, not the U.S.) browser for BlackBerry.  It's called Opera Mini.  I love it because it's got a sweet O icon, and I looooooovvvvvve O's.  But more than that, it works slick as a whistle, it's fitted properly for my little BB screen (rather than the old one that required scrolling and scrolling to get to the other side of the page if need be) and it's FREE.  If you've got a BlackBerry and your browser, like my old one, is C-R-A-P, go and download Opera.  You'll thank me. 

And so.... I'm sure the saga will continue.  But for now, at least, the BlackBerry is working -- it even kept on long enough to have a phone call at my home with Ann yesterday without dropping the call! -- and I've got a browser that works and it's sending me email. But today we are having another snowstorm, the tower will probably get iced up or something, and then all bets are off.

The only thing that my BlackBerry guy did that pissed me off (after the initial "I bet you didn't try this" trick) was to recommend that I buy the $250 gizmo to give me a signal in my home.  He pointed to it and suggested I get this wonderful thing.  I told him that yeah, a woman on the phone suggested I get one, and it's $250, right?  He says, "Yes, but it's only a one-time cost, and it's a lot cheaper than putting up a tower, and you'll have great service."  I put the kibosh to that with this statement: 

"Mmm-hm.  I'd like it if Verizon GAVE me one of those." 

------------

P.S.  Dave sent me a link yesterday that gave me no end of glee:  Vermont has the most heathens in the country! 

Comments

[Kristen]

Honey, we all like O's!

[Cathy-Cate]

34% religionless. Quite the distinction!

Buy a $250 gizmo when you live in the Shadow of The Tower! I don't think so!

And I must say, my world is just rocked to know that the suspense yesterday was inadvertent. Perhaps you should have let me live in my dream world, thinking you a master of the cliffhanger. Dang.

[Betsy]

Crocuses are fast lil bloomers once they pop up out of the soil...soon...soon...

I know someone with the $250 gizmo...says it works WONDERFULLY...like you...if I pay for the service, I should get the service...no extra $250...

Are you going to tell us WHICH weather thing you got so we can critique? I use the Accuweather one on my computer...I know their mobile application is pretty robust...

[Tracy J.]

I was wondering about that trail-off yesterday. I thought perhaps you'd fallen asleep/passed out and hit publish on the way down. Then stayed glued to your keyboard for several hours, waking up with QWERTY across your forehead.

Or perhaps I have a slightly over-active imagination.

Glad your ridiculously complicated phone is mostly sorted out, too.

[gayle]

I just thought you were making a dramatic referral to dropped calls...
I'm old-fashioned. I just want a cellphone that makes phone calls. They don't make those anymore.

[margene]

But Utah has the most p*rn addicted.
Norma, I pray for you, I really do that this time you'll kick that sh-ite once and for all.

[AnnaMarie]

Try being four blocks from the border, the phone may work but if you get the Canadian tower and make a call (providing you can understand how to do this since it's all in french) you get charged out of the country charges even though you are in the U.S.

I got rid of my cellular phone last October. Verizon could not pick up a signal from the U.S. Tower unless I was at a specific point in my yard, faced the right way and stood on one foot. (just kidding about the one foot)

I need to go get a track phone for traveling, apparently they work (except on Barton hill where nothing works).

I still like it up here, it's just a bit of a challenge at times.

[Lisa H.]

I'm having fights and fits with my cable company. I'm charged extra to get HD channels and yesterday half didn't work and half were "tiling" and unwatchable. ugh. This morning the cable dude is coming over...

[Judy]

good luck kicking the habit! I had my last DC on June 11th, 2008. 30 years of starting everyday with a DC! I finally did it. I'm not a coffee or tea drinker, so for me it also got me off caffeine. Excedrine was a life saver. I still miss it but I haven't caved yet.

[marianne]

I am so glad I never liked the Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi, hell, I don't even like their regular versions. Best of luck with that.
ffs on the blackberry problems, yet I feel so comforted knowing you have your very own blackberry guy ;^)
I SO need to move to Vermont, live around more 'my own kind'... oh say, tidbit of news that's pretty incredible, Bill Maher, in Tulsa, Ok. yep.

[Marcia]

Trust me: kicking the can is WAAAY easier than kicking smoking. Did both. I've had a few backslides on the Coke/Pepsi since I quit last year and went right back off with no issues. (If you need the bubbles, and that was part of it for me, clear sodas don't have the phosphates, so I do have a Diet Sprite with my lunch.) You can do it!

[sueinithaca]

Kick that diet coke! At least you're stepping down gracefully- I'm trying to go cold turkey on caffeine entirely. Of course, i need my "methadone" - hot chocolate made with 72% dark chocolate. Perhaps you should try that? Not good for the waistline, though.

[claudia]

I like those two words together: "Claudia hilarity".

[PICAdrienne]

My daughter had a Blackberry, cute little thing, that she could never get the browser to work. Did the guy at Verizon warn you up front about the download cost on the phone bill? The applications you are downloading may be free, but the time you are connected may not be included in your bill.

Also, Erika sent you dandelion greens, and we are having snow in Western Washington, again. We are really not used to this s**t, this time of year. Although, maybe we should get used to it, as I know I was driving in it mid-April last year. BLEAH!

[Mary K. in Rockport]

Seriously, Dudette (reminds me of Smurfette, remember her?) you need a member of the wired generation around the house to help you with the mini-appliances, someone age 18 to, say, 25. They're the ones who know how that stuff works.

[Harper]

Thanks for the tip on Opera Mini. The standard browser on BB is indeed craptacular.

Good luck with the detox. Seltzer with a splash of juice is my favorite summer drink but I know it doesn't have that cola taste. I've never been a cola drinker but I'm thinking that tea containing licorice may have some of the same tastes.

[Cookie]

All you needed was a new unit to fool around with? Good for you! And good luck kicking the can! I need to, but I love me some pepsi.

xo

[Susanne]

Thanks for the browser hint. A great place where I found most of my BB questions solved is on www.crackberry.com
I have a BB data plan with AT&T, but be careful, some 3rd party vendors do charge to the phone bill when downloading and AT&T wants you to contact that 3rd party vendor for any disputes, they do not feel responsible.
Tea has been a good substitute for the sodas in my case too. I do like to drink a nice ice cold (regular) Coke (not Pepsi) in the summer.
Always fun to read to stop by here. Susanne

[elizabeth a airhart]

for goodness sake good night norma

[Sunnyknitter]

Love Opera Mini, also can't abide the BB Browser. I may need to move to Vermont just to be near your BB guy. Can you just do something about the snow and ice and sneet for me first? Thanks for the downloading tip, I have been apprehensive too.

[jessie]

Oh, Norma, it is so hard to keep up with you. I now have only the tiniest fraction of time in my day to read blogs, and you update yours way too damn much for me to stay on top of.

I don't know from Blackberries (I almost wrote Blueberries, that's how out of it I am). But I like Dave's link. I'm trying to keep the heathen count up in Addison County. That's all I can do.

[Mary]

If you have to pay $250 for something, it ought to give you more than BlackBerry service. I'm just saying...

[kmkat]

Hmm. Just read Mary's comment about $250 should give you more than Blackberry service.

::thinking hard::

Hey, doesn't the Blackberry have a dandy vibrate mode? How long will it do that?

::ducks and runs far, far away::

(Hey, you started it with you O's comment...)

[Isela]

You are a heathen and we love you because of it :). I need to download Opera Mini on my new BB.