Thank you all for playing in my caption contest. My, my, I have clever readers. I loved all your entries, and they kept me entertained for all of Sunday. But someone had to win, right? I will send the winners something very nice from my destashing efforts, and maybe a little extra sweetness.
First Prize goes to Miriam for this gem:
And Another First Prize (there can be no seconds here, haha) to Gayle for this one:
That pithy "Me, too" answer cracks me up every time I read it. Perfectly gnome-like, methinks.
*However, destashing is much pleasanter than farting.
P.S. Recently the brains at Typepad gave more helpful hints to increase readership. One of the things they said is that we shouldn't use clever titles. We shouldn't use titles or words that might bring people to our blogs via a search engine and find something they weren't really looking for. People are busy, it said. They will get pissed if you're advertising something that you're NOT, or wasting everyone's time. You should be boring and say just what you mean.
What fun would that be? Can you imagine, for example, if someone Googles "farting" and lands here? OMG, I've wasted someone's important "farting" search time. OR what if someone is doing a serious search about gnomes. They land here. I'M SO SORRY. I've wasted your time. Or "Monty Python" or "barfing in sap bucket." Who knew from that title or those misleading words that this would be a knitting blog? And I've wasted someone's time and that reader will not come back. Darn.
For fucksake. They really don't get us, do they? Talk about sucking the joy right out of the endeavor. Sheesh.
I'm hopeful that someday I'll serve an important function for the person who will undoubtedly Google "farting knitter."
P.P.S. Thank you to Laurie, my own personal anesthesiologist (well, OK, hopefully NEVER, but she's there if I ever need her) for scaring me straight. Not that I really needed a study from the NIH to tell me what I already knew intuitively, but seriously, if I needed a punctuation mark on the "I'm done with Diet (or any other) Pepsi and Coke" comma period exclamation mark -- no question mark -- I'm DONE. I mean it. Don't try to offer me one. Just don't. I'll cut you down.
The funniest part is that it was MY ranting and railing against the stuff that got HER to quit using it a couple years ago. What can I say? She's smarter and stronger than I. But my kidneys and bones and heart and head are telling me, "Please, Norma. Stop the insanity."
I did learn a thing or two sitting in medical school last fall: Kidney tissue does not repair or regenerate. The kidneys can only withstand a certain number of insults and then it's dialysis for you, bub. So listen up: If you don't join me, the kidney terrorists will win. Or something like that. Let's stop together. K?
Now I guess I will also be thwarting the Googlers searching for: farting Diet Pepsi. Or farting terrorists.