363. MoSex for the Socks

Abigail and I went to the Upper East Side for some window shopping, to buy some chocolate, and to meet up with her friend Julia (hi, Julia!) for brunch.  We stumbled upon a sweet little place called Caffe Grazie, and it was a wonderful choice.  

Julia is an old friend from Vermont who went to Walnut Hill with Abigail. We shared many a carpool adventure together in those days.  Well, given those girls' chichi education and their penchant for culture (and mine, too, of course), I thought it would be only fitting that we go to a museum for the afternoon.  Debi sent me some gorgeous socks for Hanukkah, and she wrote, "Please don't take a modeled shot of them while walking in the snow like last time.  I don't think my heart can take it."

I thought it might be more to her liking if I took a photo of them in a sedate and cultured setting like a museum in New York City.  

Hmmmm.  Yeahhhhh.

Well, that was interesting.

  

Unlike your average museum, they told me I could take photos anywhere I wanted.  As we were walking in, I said to Julia, "I hope they'll let me do it with the socks."  I was referring to taking photos of ....  you know.... the socks inside the museum.  We had to laugh when we realized what I'd said and how many people heard me.  It's New York, though.  Nobody even skipped a beat.  

You know, it's not as if there weren't some great photo ops, but I don't know.  Once in there, it's a bit hard to focus.  

Some things were downright not appropriate to photograph for the blog, because, you know, we have toddlers sitting on knees, right?  But I did take out the camera a few times, to wit:

Having been an auction-goer for many years, there are so many times when we've been at an auction preview and wondered, "What the hell is this?"  Never in my wildest thoughts would I have gone out on a limb and imagined, "I bet that's a vibrator."  Srsly.  

I cropped this one for modesty.  You'll just have to imagine what is on the end.  OK, fine, I'll tell you:  A big rubber penis.  But I could not resist photographing this in honor of Ms. GodIHopeHer15MinutesIsOver Palin, because it is just so HER.  (Drill baby, drill, right?)  

The suitcase next to it?  Attached to a rubber penis, too. I have no freakin' idea what one is supposed to do with it (OK, I do have an idea. I don't know why I said that.) but it was rather James Bondesque, which I thought was kind of neat. 

There were some other mechanized rubber penis chairs, sort of reminiscent of perverted rocking horses.  They did not make it in the photo.  I lie.  They made it in the photo, but I cropped them out. Really, you're thanking me right now.  They are not pretty.  

Oh, and there was so much more. 

Truly educational.   

The socks thought so, too:

My honest assessment of the Museum of Sex:  If you have an afternoon free with nothing else to do, by all means go, just to satisfy your curiosity about it.  It has some "all right" stuff, and I did learn some things, such as many mammals' (but not humans) penises have bones in them.  Gives a whole new meaning to the word "boner," am I right?  

I was hoping to be shocked.  Stunned.  Amazed.  Titillated.  And more than that, I was hoping for more sex and sexuality as portrayed in art. There was not so much of that, really.  There was a coffee table Picasso book in the bookstore, and a book called "Rear Ends" which made me think of someone, and some cute Museum of Sex souvenir lollipops that I wanted to get, but then I realized they were actually condoms, so I changed my mind.  Heh.  

Rather boring.  Nothing much new, but I would not recommend it for a first date, if ya know what I mean.  The transvestite at the front desk was awesome, though.  So awesome that Abigail and Julia didn't notice he was.  Next I'll probably be getting a comment on this blog or via email from an outraged beautiful dark-haired woman writing: "I am the receptionist who works at the front desk. I am not A TRANSVESTITE, you bitch!"  

Comments

[JudithNYC]

Fess up, Norma, didn't you giggle at least once.

[kellys]

mmm boring? well well! Vermont does have long, cold winters...

[moiraeknittoo]

Ah, yes. F-machines. V. interesting, I think. Did you see the pin-up exhibit? I think that one would be fascinating, given how explicit things are today, most of those seem positively mild in comparison, yet were so provocative at the time. Ah, only in NY. :D

[Dave Daniels]

"Antique vibrators...?"
Bwahahahahahahaha
Ok, I'm still, like, 12 years old!
Bwahahahahahahaha
You should buy the book.

[margene]

Damn, you find the best things to do!

[jessica~]

Sounds like one heck of a morning. :) Thanks for sharing. Those are pretty freaky looking. Suitcase? Really? I love transvestites. They always make me want to go home and make myself look pretty - so inspiring.

[Ruth]

You learn something new every day.

[sandy]

Oh, gosh. Can't people find a hobby?
:D
LX
Um. Great sox

[Renee]

Hoot!!! Norma, only you could segue socks and a sex museum and make laugh this much. Sounds like a great day.

[minnie]

my favorite place to send naughty-girl e-cards from had some "antique shots" and none of them involved a drill, lol. did you tell them what SeX is to a knitter?

[Cheryl S.]

Woot! You got to do it with the socks in the museum of sex!

[kmkat]

Shall I tell you what electric (AC power, none of those annoying batteries) item I bought for 50¢ at the annual Mt. Olivet Lutheran Church* rummage sale? Nah, you can guess.

*Largest Lutheran church in the known universe.

[Jennifer]

Hahaha - I'm so glad you took pictures. I've passed the museum and always wondered. Thanks for the review. I bet it was worth a few giggles and OMG moments. Hehehehe.

[Imbrium]

Looks like a fun day at the museum to me!

(Is it just me, or does one of those antique vibrators look like an old-fashioned hand mixer?)

[Vicki]

Never a dull moment 'round here...

[Cookie]

Cute socks!

Is it wrong that I'm sort of hoping for a birthday gift from their gift shop now? *L*

Don't answer that. xo

[Birdsong]

Love their abbreviated name, and the socks... and wishing you luck on that last sentence. I just hope you had the more practiced eye and were right.

[anne]

5th avenue chocolatiere . . . (http://www.1800chocolate.net/)
we used to work around the corner from the one on 5th near 53rd, but it looks like they've moved. voted by david as best truffles EVER

[Mary K. in Rockport]

Different topic: on midnight, December 31, are you going to cease posting every single day? The world wants to know!

[Debi]

So THIS is where you decided to photograph my socks? PLEASE go back to snow walking! :)

[Kristen]

So did the museum explain that vibrators were invented--no joke--as medical devices?

[MommyKnits Jen]

So hate to bust in with a technicality but that isn't a drill it's a recipricating saw (think back and forth not around and around). So are you staying in NY till New Years? It's fun to watch on TV but I can't imagine being there with that huge crowd.

[Stephanie]

Actually, I *did* have a first date at the Museum of Sex. A blind first date. Accompanied by the person who was setting us up. Who was an ex-girlfriend of the guy I was supposedly being set up with.

I don't know. It seemed like such a terrible idea that it had to work out well, right?

(it didn't.)

[diabetic socks]

Nice sock. I liked the color.

[keya]

Are those tools all for making socks and factory things?