301. That Freaky Thing That I Do

The other night a male student approached my student client in organic chemistry class and said, "I was just saying the other day to [insert name] that [insert my student's name] must be in this class, because that typing lady is in there." 

THAT

TYPING

LADY

!

*giggle*

I took him to task for that a little bit, and he said, "I'm sorry.  I don't know your name."  So I introduced myself and we shook hands, and, well....

The TYPING LADY SPEAKS.  Hee.

------------------------

It was a hoot getting your reactions to the steno suggestions on the screen the other day.  I love the "How do you DO that?!" phenomenon that occurs in court and at school.  And I remember, even as a freshman in court reporting school, looking at the advanced outlines ("outlines" is what we call them) that the seniors were using.  It seemed impossible.  And at first it is -- your fingers and your brain just don't want to go there.  But eventually, if you have the aptitude -- and I truly do believe it's an "aptitude thing" -- it is doable.  The steno keyboard is "magic."  Or it could be described as "evil." Take your pick. 

This is what it looks like, though there are no markings on the keys, because it would be of no help to have them there, given the speeds with which we stroke, and given that the keys mean not only what they are, but when used in combination with other keys, are read as other letters.  It just has to be memorized.

For the KA KA short form, the original phrase would be written as six strokes on the keyboard, as follows:

KAR

PWOPB (read "BON")

KAR

PWOPB

TKUBL

PWOPBD (read "BOND")

or, to confuse matters worse, I would actually write it like this, in order to avoid any possible word boundary problems.  In other words, the word "carbon" written as KAR/PWOBP (or KAR/BON is how it's read) could create a potential conflict, if defined as "carbon" the next time someone said something like, I don't know..... "We had a car bonfire with all the junk cars."  Which, you can probably see, would be a mistake if it came out, "We had a carbon fire with all the junk cars."  That's just a small example of the kinds of word boundary issues that haunt me in my work every day.  So, to try to head those problems off at the pass a little more, and to make things a lot more complicated, I would write:

KARB

KWROPB

KARB

KWROBP (read "YON," and this tells the computer to attach the "-ON" to the word previous, and not the word following)

TKUBL (read "DUBL")

PWOPBD (read "BOND")

So, yeah, now you can see why two strokes, KA KA, would make my life only about 1,000% easier, eh?

----------------------

Someone wrote:  "I don't see how AORBGS could be across carbon-carbon double bonds.  Why wouldn't it be easier to write, A KA KA?" 

Well, here is the answer:  AORBGS is all written in one stroke, as opposed to typing it letter by letter.  A KA KA would be THREE strokes. It all has to do with the placement of the letters on the machine.  The AORBGS is "easy" to us, and if incorporated into our brains quickly (if it can be, depending on the speed of the matter), it is "easy" for us to read and assimilate. The RBGS is actually read by us in our brains as a comma, or to make matters more complicated, also as a "rks" sound at the end of a word like "works" which would be written WORBGS. (because there is no final "K" on the machine)

So AOBGS is sort of like AO, (A-O-comma) all stroked in one movement, like a piano chord.  Strokes are time.  Time is money, or energy, or something like that.  There's no way we could "type" 240 or 270 words a minute, but we CAN steno it for extended periods of time -- like, for a full class period, the length of a two-hour lecture, or a full DAY, even.  (Though without appropriate breaks and rest periods, that would kill me. But first, it would lead to repetitive strain and THEN kill me. Even worse than bubbles in my pee.)

Someone else asked how does TPHO*PL become "nomenclature."  Here is the answer:

Well, you have to understand the steno keyboard.  The TPH written together is read as an initial "N" (because there is no "N" in the keyboard, don't ask me why -- it just IS) -- the O is in the middle of the keyboard where the thumbs hit, and the asterisk is in the middle up top and is hit with the right first finger.  The PL together is a final "M".  All this is stroked at once, like a piano chord.  That's why it can happen so fast, and that's why this is a "brief form."  Otherwise, nomenclature would be stroked in FOUR strokes (which we HATE) and would look like this (each line is a stroke on the keyboard):

TPHOEPL
EPB
KLAEU
TAOUR

...believe it or not, though each steno writer writes a little differently, and there are several more variations of this that could also be possible.  To add confusion, this professor has a British accent, and he pronounces the word, "num-EN-kla-ture" rather than "NOEM-en-clay-ture" like us cretins Americans -- and the way things are pronounced make a difference, too, because we write what we hear.  Again, it's a speed thing.  Hesitation means delay, even if it's just a microsecond's delay, which means mistakes and/or getting behind and missing what comes next. 

Remember, we are listening to every word, writing it, reviewing it on the screen to make sure it's coming out correctly, while at the same time the water of words is still flowing -- listen, think of steno outline, write, review, listen, think of steno outline, write, review.  It can't even be typed properly, because it's like a knitting pattern where it says the dreaded words, "WHILE AT THE SAME TIME" blah blah blah.

Have I confused you yet? 

What about now? 

Go get some coffee.  Or some chocolate.  You deserve it if you've stuck here through this. How about a cute picture of a guy in his new sweater?

No, I didn't knit it.  I bought it.  I wish I could say I knitted it, though. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

P.S.  Today's winners in the Red Scarf Fund drive are:

1. signed MDK2 book + kit for Belinda wrap:  David.


2. 2 balls Trekking XXL in color 145 (a delightful orange variegated) + 2 skeins of Koigu KPPPM yarn
Cynthia

Lucky! She won the Handmaiden Cashmere & Silk earlier too.
 

3. LE Sundara sportweight superwash merino sock yarn - Cherry Blossom + two 50g skeins superwash sock yarn; 185 yds/skein; colourway "Happy":
Tracey F.

and

4. Ruby's green woven scarf:  Susie S.

Comments

[naomi]

I don't know if you've used the piano chord comparison before, but that makes your work more comprehensible to me. (Granted, it sounds like it's an order of magnitude more complex, but still.)

[Cheryl S.]

My head just exploded.

[Kristen]

Yes. Thoroughly confused. Completely and utterly. Reminds me of why I leave this stuff to the professionals! ;)

[klaus]

This is what non-linguists must feel like when faced with IPA.... jeez.

The idea of hitting "TPHOEPL" all at once sort of explains why the nice court reporter I ran into the other day (I'm a sub, she's working with a hearing impaired student, they fight crime) told me that it takes 5 years to get through the training. How much time do you have to do each stroke? I mean, you know, when you double click, there's a certain point where you wait too long and it's two single clicks instead of a double click. There are two Ps in that example, so... what really constitutes one stroke?

Uh, sorry, I guess that's kind of an involved question, but I'm totally curious. I was sad that the court reporter didn't use her court reportin' stuff when I was subbing because I really wanted to see it.

[klaus]

This is what non-linguists must feel like when faced with IPA.... jeez.

The idea of hitting "TPHOEPL" all at once sort of explains why the nice court reporter I ran into the other day (I'm a sub, she's working with a hearing impaired student, they fight crime) told me that it takes 5 years to get through the training. How much time do you have to do each stroke? I mean, you know, when you double click, there's a certain point where you wait too long and it's two single clicks instead of a double click. There are two Ps in that example, so... what really constitutes one stroke?

Uh, sorry, I guess that's kind of an involved question, but I'm totally curious. I was sad that the court reporter didn't use her court reportin' stuff when I was subbing because I really wanted to see it.

[sandy]

Too early to think that hard. Must read later...
That is a cute pup though. Pup in a sweater. Every NYC dog will be envious!

[Dave]

Woot -- cool beans!! Thank you very much, Norma and Paula, and thank you also to the lovely ladies at MDK!

[marianne]

Oh dear, something's spewed on my computer screen and it isn't coffee... brain matter! Mr. Jeffries is indeed looking warm and cozy, and yes, Very Cute.

[Ruth]

I'll have to come back and read this again once I've had a) coffee and b) a full night's sleep. Which, the way WB is behaving these days, will be sometime in 2012.

[Lynn]

Er, sure, if you say so. With those dextrous fingers, you should take up spinning.

[Nora]

Thus illustrating my longstanding conviction that the court reporter is ALWAYS the smartest person in the room.

Mr. Jeffries is the bomb.

[carol]

I totally needed the dog sweater after reading through all that! It's amazing what you do.

[margene]

I feel like Cheryl, but the cute doggie picture totally made up for the rest.

[Jean]

No wonder you're a little crazy.. and I mean that in a good way. lol. I'd be in a flippin' straight jacket if I had to learn that.

[gayle]

Is it scary that all that makes perfect sense to me? Maybe I should have been a stenographer... (Too late now, though. By the time I learned all that, I'd be past retirement age. All dressed up, and nowhere to go.)
Or maybe it's just the explanation - thank you, Norma. I love when you talk steno!

[jodi]

I love that not only do you work in code, it's code that you write yourself and only you can crack. So if you croaked, could your machine be reprogrammed for some other stenographer or would they just bury it at your feet?

[Cynthia]

I have a headache!!! How wonderful! How mystical! Norma, you rock!!

[Elizabeth]

That is the cutest dog and the cutest dog sweater. It looks like something you would have knit, if that helps.
I have purely visual brain skills, rather than audio so you're job would kill me in an hour. Very cool, though. I totally 'get' it.
I can't believe I just said "totally"....

[Roxie]

Omigawd! Thank you for the darling grand-dog in his sweet widdle sweater. THAT is something I can comprehend. I am SO blown away by your skill! Fear and awe, Norma. Fear and awe!

[claudia]

Me slow, stupid with head cold, reading this post:

blah, blah, blah....CUTEST DOG EVER!

[sara]

You lost me at the keyboard diagram... lol

[Celia]

Totally confused. At least now I know that I really DIDN'T want to know. And as for the dog in the sweater...killer.

[KittyMommy]

Wow!! If I wasn't in enough awe of that "typing thing" ;o) Though if you heard a faint "Foomph" coming from the west, it was probably my brain exploding trying to follow. Such a handsome grandpuppy!

[marie in florida]

huh? i ask, does anyone even learn shorthand anymore? prolly not

[Berta]

And I trust you guard your hearing (and fingers) like the priceless gems they are? Obviously your healthy eating/workouts are keeping your brain in shape to deal with the keyboard magic. From a person who depends heavily on you and your collegues since even two hearing aids don't replace normal hearing. Especially when one is trying to hear what some Brits and most soft-spoken Southerners are saying. Thanks!

[Seanna Lea]

I think I will stick with transcription (which is what I'll go back to once I'm old enough to retire and just want enough work for a little bit of extra stuff)! I'm sure that if I had the schooling, I'd get it but just reading it like that for the first time makes it feel like gibberish.

[Julie]

I'm so glad I found your blog! I'm in the first half of Theory right now at Cerritos College, and reading your blog entry today made my eyes bug out...or my ears bleed, in anticipation of what I'll eventually be doing.

I'm 43-do you find that folks who start later tend to have more problems with Steno? In fact, most of the folks in my online class are older than your average comm college student. I'm finding it fun, like a word puzzle, for now.

And thanks for the pup-pic! Adorable!

[Sunnyknitter]

That was a great explanation for the nonsteno group. I often use the musical chords explanation myself having played piano for years as a kid. Autobrief is the bomb! That is one terminally cute dog, he has "You will love me now," written all over him.

[barb]

Okay now my head is going to explode. No aptitude:(
The doggy is totally cute!

[Beebs]

OK My eyes crossed and my brain keeled over and started to whimper... I cannot even imagine doing your job.
And Cynthia needs to go buy a Lottery ticket! Congratulations to the winners!
And that little dog is very cute.

[Lucia]

What "doesn't make sense" about any of that?

This will teach me to skim your posts: I didn't even see the extended Red Scarf deadline! Good thing I posted about how I was frantically knitting down to the wire and was promptly brought up to date by commenters. But Wild Thing is done, Meander is within inches, and after a brief hiatus to knit PSI squares I will try to knock out a couple more. (Go look at Meander. She is looking quite nice, although I do say it.)

[jessica~]

Holy confusion! Very interesting though :) I like reading about your work. That is an awfully cute pup in an awfully cute sweater!!

[Elizabeth L in Apex, NC]

My brain just fell out. Before that happened, though, I thought the keyboard image was a puzzle and I was trying to figure it out before I read what it was. I don't think that says good things about my thought process...

[Stephanie]

What did you say? I don't think I understand steno speak. :P

I think I'll go get more water for that.

[Lucia]

P.S. Word-boundary issues are meat and drink to makers and solvers of cryptic crosswords. In a cryptic crossword, part of the clue is a clue, as in a "normal" crossword, and part is some kind of wordplay. For instance, for the clue "famous missing senator" the answer would be NOTED: famous = noted, missing senator = no Ted. "City in Czechoslovakia" = OSLO (from an old puzzle, obviously). There are other types of wordplay, but your example of "car bonfires" made me think of a cryptic clue.

[Cookie]

Typing Lady hurted my brains. o.0

Fab doggie.

[Sue]

I have to go sweep my brain up off the floor now, because it just exploded and is lying everywhere in little bits.

I clearly lack the aptitude.

[knelley]

Um . . . . holy crap. That's hard stuff.

[Melissa G]

I apologize if this is repetitive. Do you steno or type your blog entries, and, if you type, is that hard switching gears? Aptitude is an odd creature, we see/hear it daily in athletes or musicians but people forget(?) to find it elsewhere.

[isela]

Uhmmm, you lost me and my brain process the following-...........sssss, lol.