243. You Know How I Hate Memes...

...but I thought this one was kind of interesting.  I picked it up, and even plagiarized some of the answers, from Sandy.  The plagiarized answers are the ones in all bold.

1. My uncle once was driving a snowmobile which was pulling a sled on which I was a passenger.  He was trying to entertain us, and zigzagged on the road.  This, I don't need to tell you, is dangerous.  I was thrown off the sled and suffered a pretty bad concussion, briefly lost my eyesight, messed up my face something awful, and was hospitalized a few days. (I was 12.) It's a miracle I don't have facial scarring or serious brain damage.  It should be said that he was a very good uncle and he absolutely meant no harm.

2. Never in my life will I judge a person for what he or she can or will do in times of true desperation.  Actually, I lie.  I will probably judge the person.  But I have a very wide range of tolerance of what I can accept as understandable conduct in those times.  Because I've been there.

3. When I was five my father died.

4. High school was not as fun as it should have been.

5. I will never say never again.

6. Once I met my knitting and blogging friends, my life was instantly enriched.

7. There’s this boy I know.  I've got absolutely nothing on this one, but I wish I knew a boy who would help me right now with the garden. Not to mention a few other things.

8. Once, at a bar I picked up a big wad of money that a disgusting, rotting, filthy piece of falling-down-drunk humanity (but I'm not judgmental at all) had dropped, and I put it in my barmaid pocket.

9. By noon I'm hungry and I have to pee.

10. Last night I forced myself to finish this meme.

11. If only I had enough patience to delete all those frigging HTML inserts that occurred by copying-and-pasting this fucking meme.  How many left-arrowSTRONGright-arrows do we fucking need, anyway?  I'm going to change my answer to #2 to, "Never in my life will I understand HTML."

12. Next time I go to church I will feel as icky as I always feel in church.

13. What worries me most is how I'm going to get all that Swiss chard frozen before winter.

14. When I turn my head left I know exactly who I want to be there.

15. When I turn my head right I see my Ott-Lite.

16. You know I’m lying if I say I like memes. And HTML.

17. What I miss most about the Eighties is how I looked in a leotard. But that perm and those glasses, and those puffy-sleeved tops?  No way.

18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be Ophelia.

19. By this time next year I hope I have a kickass retirement plan built up.

20. A better name for me would be Nora. I just wish my mom had left out that "m".  It doesn't feel right.  Nora sounds softer and prettier.  Then again, maybe the m should stay.

21. I have a hard time understanding how to answer these questions without constantly repeating myself.  See No. 2.

22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll do it vicariously.  Wait, I'm doing that. I'm living the dream, baby.

23. You know I like you if I'll have sex with you in a car.

24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be:  Huh.  Who knew these questions were going to be so hard?

25. Take my advice: Never give advice. (oops, I said "never")

26. My ideal breakfast is steak and blueberries, but I do love me some pancakes.  And French toast. And Eggs Benedict.  And oatmeal.  And cream of wheat and cream of rice.  And stewed prunes with cream.  And omelets and scrambled eggs and toast with sunflower nut butter and scones and jam and.... well, I pretty much love everything breakfast, but nowadays I know it has to be high-protein, or fuggedaboudit, it doesn't do me any favors.

27. A song I love but do not have is: I'm not a huge music buyer. Or listener, for that matter. I do love some music. But it's not part of my daily life.

(Cripes, how long is this meme, anyway?) <---- that was stolen from Sandy, too.

28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you eat at Jeff's Maine Seafood.  Save room for the maple creme brulee.

29. Why won’t people stay out of my way?!

30. If you spend a night at my house this week, I will make you pick beans, pick Swiss chard, pick tomatoes, pick kale, and help me freeze same. Fair warning.

31. I’d stop my wedding for... uh.  What kind of a question is this? I don't know.  A piece of chocolate cake.  A hurricane.  A heart attack.  A lightning storm.  A uh.... I don't know. Who writes these questions, anyhow?

32. The world could do without most of its people. And memes.

33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than lick cockroach poo do another meme.

34. My favorite blondie is a brownie.

35. Paper clips are more useful than lots of other things, I'm sure. But I can't think of what.  (Who writes these questions???)

36. If I do anything well it's to not take myself too seriously.

37. I can’t help but think it was a mistake to start this meme.

38. I usually cry freely when catharsis is in order.

39. My advice to my nephew/niece:  Eat your greens.  And I don't want to hear any whining.

40. And by the way, my love for memes has not been improved by this exercise, but I laughed a few times.  I hope I got you to laugh a couple of times, too.

Comments

[sandy]

I DID! I laughed! I have to admit to a big belly laugh when I saw that YOU did a meme! I love it! There is something so satisfying about this one, including the silly ones!
Thanks for your plagiarism. Let me know if I can help you out again. :D If you can't plagiarize a friend, who can you plagiarize?
really.
LX

[Sarah]

I have enjoyed reading this meme, but feel exhausted at the idea of actually doing it.

[Sibylle]

I had to smile, not to lough, but that might be because I didn't understand all :) I was also seeing this yesterday at Sandy and had to do it myself, the questions are fun and exhausting to answer. Nice monday to you!

[margene]

This is right up your alley. I'd be plagiarizing (from Sandy) the same numbers you did. I love #14.;-)

[Kathy]

You are Nora; but only if I am Kathryn! :-)

[Roxie]

This is one of those creativity tests, isn't it? Like, how many things can you do with a brick? (dig out the middle and use it for an ashtray?)

[naomi]

Steak and blueberries?

[Beth @ A Quest for Relevance]

Dang, that's a LONG one! I can't believe you actually finished it!

[Elizabeth]

High school is NEVER as fun as it should be.

[Cheryl S.]

High school is supposed to be fun? Nobody told me.

[Julie]

You're right - it was a long meme, and it made me laugh. Thanks! PS I wish I had known you had a little layover in Phoenix en route to Utah - I would've come up and bought you a coffee.

[JudithNYC]

RE # 30: can I come over? I am a country girl living in NYC and I miss harvesting my produce sooooooooooooooo much.

[Manise]

Bring some swiss chard with you if you're coming to VT S&W. I'll gladly take some off your hands.:-)

[Ann]

Oh, good god. Thanks for not tagging me, I have no idea how I'd answer a lot of these questions. Yours, however were quite humerous. Norma is definately you. You are not prissy or snobby enough to be a Nora! OOps, sorry to any of you Noras out there. You know how certain names are to everyone. LOL. Time to go outside and play in the sun!

[Cookie]

I love Nora Charles and our Nora, of course, but I see you as a Norma. Take no shit, suffer no fools, shut up and get off my lawn NORMA.

Sex in car. Talk about a reminder of the 80's.

xo

[Cathy-Cate]

I laughed more and more the farther I got. By the end, it's a wonder boogers weren't hitting the wall.

Not gonna do that one, but I'm glad you and Sandy did!

[marianne]

What Cookie said... except for that sex in the car and the 80s bit... :^) So glad you survived that sled ride.