Now Norma Knits

211. Memories of Gloucester and Rockport

Well, I'm back on Vermont terra firma, with plenty of fresh memories from yesterday's jaunt with Sandy to Gloucester and Rockport.*  What's all this about rotten weather that everyone keeps going on about? Everywhere *I* go, the weather seems to be fine!  (I think I'd better just shut my mouth!)

I know you don't have all day to read about my memories of G & R, but there are a handful that are just too rich not to share.

1.  The Gloucester Fisherman Causes Tempers to Flare

You can see by my photo how incredibly busy it was around there (not).  Sandy and I were trying to find me my Gloucester fisherman (the things we will do for the sake of the blog), and there was this wonderful statue in the middle of town just ripe for the taking.  We parked the car and went to the statue for our photo session.  There were two women ahead of us, taking photos, and we waited about 30 seconds for them to finish, then we set about with our silliness:

...to hopefully take fun photos of the new clam salt and pepper shakers Sandy got at Woodman's,where we had just had lunch. (Woodman's is listed in my book of 1,000 Things You Should See Before You Die. 999 to go.) We no sooner had set our happy little clams out when Sandy stepped back to take a photograph of them.  A man appeared from nowhere from behind me and jumped in to take a photograph of the statue at the same time Sandy stepped back to take hers, and bumped into her.  He grouchily said, "Do you MIND?!  I'm trying to take a picture here!"  Sandy apologized all over herself as if it were her fault, and said, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't see you there," and we both stepped away so he could take his frigging picture and get out of our hair.  He left.  We got back to our business.  The next thing we know, he was standing several feet away from us, and again said, "Do you MIND!?  I want to take a picture of that with NO PEOPLE in it!" He was just a grumpy fart (and not so old so it was permissible because of his dodderingness, either).

Cookie would have been so proud of me.  Before I even knew what had come over me, I looked at him and growled, with slime dripping from my fangs, "No, do YOU mind?!"  Oh, there was more.  Oh, yes, there was.  (But I was very civilized in that I did not tell him in these exact words to FUCK OFF.)  He whimpered, "But I'm only here for a short time!" 

I'm sure that 30 seconds he might have to wait was going to throw his tourist schedule all out of whack. 

And you have the gall to wonder why I hate people.

2.  Sandy's Thinking Big

Sandy said, "If I lived here, think of how much weeding you'd have to do!"

3.  Always Thinking of Dave Daniels (It was Wednesday, after all.)

4.  "Can we take a photo of your shirt? Don't worry, we're not taking a photo of your butt."

"Oh, that's OK. I don't mind if you do."

I Could Get Used To This


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*Sorry, Mary K., it was a last-minute decision that took us there and I didn't have your phone number. 

210. As I Like It

There was a lobster roll and a shrimp cocktail near the sea. There was tidepooling. There was a walk through a gorgeous public garden. There was a yarn shop and some souvenir yarn purchased. There was a seafood platter and strawberry shortcake at Durgin-Park. There were Claudia, Carole & Dale, Carol, Kate, Terry, and of course Sandy who turned out to party.  There was Shakespeare on the Common with knitting. There was a snuggle with a young bichon named Hagrid in the crowd.

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The sign says:

Damsel sought
To share this spot
So neither of us
Will watch the play alone.
I will share blueberries.
Inquiries welcomed.

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Sadly, he left alone at intermission.

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Yep.  All the world's a stage...

209. Cycle of Life in the Garden - A Guest Lecture By Boing

Yo! 'sup?  The Boingman here. Today I will expound about some of the harsh realities of garden life.

Birth.  Death.  Birth. Disease. Death.  The cycle of life.  So many things have gone by, are done for the season:  Asparagus, black raspberries, some lettuces, some radishes, peas, spinach.  Some things are bookin' right along, pregnant, growing.  Some have met an untimely demise:  Some of the broccoli plants that were damaged in the storm have succumbed to some sort of rot.  One tomato plant has some sort of fungus growing on the lower stem.  She keeps hoping the fungus won't progress any more, but I gotta tell ya:  I'm rather dubious. 

She sacrificed the early zucchini and summer squash plants because she felt she was fighting a hopeless battle against the beetles.  Frickin' beetles.  I tell ya, they are the scourge of society.  Filthy, ruinous, repugnant things.  No honor whatsoever!  They give us all a bad name. Me, I just eat what I need and no more.  They -- well, they are just filthy disgusting things.  They pass on disease and suck the life right out of the plant, little by little.  Insidious little bastards.  I eat -- I'm up front about it.  None of this sneaky disease-spreading, life-sucking shit they do.  Don't get me started on their lack of hygiene and unsafe sexual practices. They gonna be the death of us all. 

Well, I noticed the beans and the pumpkins are being attacked by various beetles and fungi.  At the moment, they seem to be holding out all right, and I'm gonna keep a careful watch, but with her away for several days this month, things could get ugly. Without me to be ever-vigilant, I'm not sure how they'll do, and a guy my size can only do so much.

But anyway, the garden keeps on chugging along. I'm doin' my best, but if she gets back and all hell has broke loose around here, I'm gonna be so much dogshit under her shoe.

Life's short, so let's party focus on the positive, then, shall we?

There are loads of infant beans. Say it with me:  "Awwwww, cuuuuute!" She comes back, she's gonna need to get pickin'. This I know.

And a few zucchini.

And summer squash.

And tons of almost-grown-up tomatoes.

And sugar pie pumpkins at every stage in the book. (The pumpkin experiment in the compost bin is totally rockin' the house. Heeeyuuuuge success.  I don't want to take the credit, but really I did tell her it would be so.) 

And winter squash (also in the compost bin and trained up a trellis -- another heeeyuuuuuge success)

And some growing pears, which are far exceeding all of our hopes and expectations. 

And some new little beets for a fall crop.  These are in the spot vacated by the peas.  She tried spinach twice there, but they didn't germinate worth a shit to no avail.  Now the beets are performing in the same spot like champs.  These are a new variety to all of us -- Bull's Blood. I never tasted them, and I don't think she has, either.  Should be good, though. 

There are also some baby bok choi newborns that are just the cutest little things.  Take a look:  kootchie-kootchie, goo-goo, ga-ga. 

WHAT?!

She put them in where she removed all those beets the other week. She's gonna be eatin' bok choi 'til she turns green, come the end of August. Or maybe that's me. Well, anyway.  I'm not like those hoggish beetles.  I'll leave some for her. Well, actually, I don't even like bok choi. I noticed that the other day she thinned them and copied June and gently teased out the thinned seedlings and transplanted 'em so she'll have even more mature bok chois.  Brilliant, that.  I gotta give the chick some credit:  She's got some smart friends. Anyway, I saw she watered the transplants with liquid kelp to help 'em get a good foothold again. 

And there are some baby cucumbers that "miraculously" the beetles stayed away from.  I tried to tell her, but she wouldn't listen:  Plant radishes next to the cucumbers and squash, and the beetles will stay away.  You know, just as an aside -- I don't want to speak ill of her -- she's fairly smart. Still, bitch has got a lot to learn.  Well, maybe some part of her subconscious heard me, screamin' at the top of my lungs, "Yo, Norma!  Plant the frickin' radishes near the FRICKIN' cucumbers!!!  Hellooooooo!" 'coz she just happened to plant radishes next to the cukes, and lo and behold!  The beetles stayed away.  She says she's going to remember that next year and do it purposely next time.  I'll be sure and remind her, not that she'll listen. Obstinate, that woman.

Hey, excuse me for now. I gotta run. I've got a whole lot to eat watch over. If she hasn't taken up with some Gloucester fisherman and holed up over a tattoo parlor, I expect she'll be back to write something tomorrow.

208. BOING!

Heyaaah!

The name's Boing.

Norma left me in charge'a things around here while she goes tripping down to the Boston area to visit The Sandy and other pals for a few days.  I told her don't worry, I'll watch the garden and the blog to make sure everything's good.  I said to her, I says, "Relaaaaax. Eat New England seaside food. Have a few drinks. Enjoy your friends. See Shakespeare in the Park. Maybe even knit. Whatever. It's all gooooood." Oh, and I told her, "Don't forget your laptop. Bring your sunscreen. Remember: sand is uncomfortable in a thong (watch out for the crabs!). And beHAVE yourself for Chrissake. Don't worry. Everything's gonna be fiiiiiine," I said. 

I got no idea whether she froze that mountain of chard before she left.  Lookit, I got enough to do to keep track of what's going on out here.  She can handle the indoor chores herself, ferfucksake. All I know is, I heard music blaring, pots and pans clanging, and a good load of unseemly language.  Then again, that's nothing out of the ordinary for this place, so I'll leave it to you to interpret the meaning.

As I told her, I won't eat a thing.  If anything's missing or dead when she gets back, I told her, it'll be the Japanese to blame. Fo shizzy.

207. Applause for Excellence

I applaud Running Warehouse.  I got my order from them, and I'm so happy with them I must tell you about it.  They have free shipping.  They had the top I wanted.  I also ordered these shorts and they are just perfect for Bikram yoga and my body type.  I received my order in ONE DAY. 

I applaud Dave Daniels.  He remembered from a long time ago that I was interested in having a bay laurel plant.  They are hard to find and almost impossible to propagate. He was out and about in Boston a couple of weeks ago, he saw some of these rare beauties in the wild, he called me, and look what showed up in my mailbox later that week:

What a guy.  I love it!  Sweet fresh bay leaves in my kitchen.  I'm going to repot it in a very special pot and give it tender-loving care.  I can't wait to make soup now....And when my tomatoes ripen en masse, I'm putting a bunch of 'em in a box to drive 'em to Dave, because he's so cool and he's never had a fresh-from-the-garden tomato.

I applaud Cookie and Ruby. They are two smart...er...cookies, with excellent instincts.   

I had lunch yesterday with Helen, who was visiting Burlington.  I deserve demerits, no applause, for forgetting my camera.  And my knitting.  And most of my personality.  I was so tired I'm afraid I was a bit of a non-excellent lunch companion. At least we had good food, good coffee, and nice weather.

....And then I applaud my garden. I've got a little harvest photo for you, taken yesterday morning. 

Onions, a red cabbage, the first green bell pepper(!), the second ripe tomato, the first cucumber(!) and basil. Excellent. 

Judy and Ruby told me the other day, "If we didn't love you so much, we would not tolerate you."  In this particular instance it was about the garden, and really, it was meant in a nice way, I'm convinced.  Sweeter and more loving words were never spoken. I did not know that everyone around me was struggling so with their gardens this year. Oops. I'm sorry about that.  I should be more quiet about the garden successes, maybe? I'm not going to show you the blueberries I picked.  That would just be gloating. *insert evil chuckle here* 

Applause for me:  I knitted a few rows last night on the long-forgotten latest iteration of the Silk Garden striped scarf I started last spring. Yup, knitting. This could signify a sea change; ya never know.

On the agenda today:  Make jam from the frozen elderberries Judy gave me... (I already did that last night. Go me.)

(Sidebar: Man, does that stuff taste good.  I'm a wee bit worried that I overcooked it, and may have inadvertently made elderberry cement. I may need to use a power drill to remove bits of it from the jar at a time, but hopefully not.)

...maybe make more pickled beets, freeze Swiss chard, pack for my next little getaway, go to yoga. 

I don't know...I'm still kind of tired.  Perhaps I'll just pack the suitcase, go to yoga (I've got the new clothes, after all), and call it a day. 

Happy Sunday, all!

206. In Which I Have A Splendid Day Off

Yesterday I ambled on over to the Northeast Kingdom for a sweet day off with my friends Ruby and Judy. We had suffered through spectacular storms just the night before, but though the rivers were swollen, the ground was soggy, and some dirt roads were quite messy, the weather yesterday was blue-skied and perfect.

We admired Ruby's looms and her works in progress. We lolled around and ate delicious fare -- local cheeses and breads, and homemade hummus, and a fantastic salad from Judy, and homemade peanut butter-chocolate pie and homemade red currant ice that Ruby's husband Ken made -- with her family. Their little poodle Gus reminded me of Vincent who I'm still missing quite terribly. We were quite smitten with each other, and I can't believe I didn't take his picture.  Maybe I didn't because I was considering kidnapping him, so I didn't think a picture was necessary.  We watched the rippin' rap video Ruby's kids made for her about her weaving.  It was a hoot. 

Later we drove over to Judy's place, drank her homemade elderberry cordial cocktails, talked and talked, fondled yarns, sat on her deck, toured her lovely gardens and her studio, and watched the geese in her pond. 

It was a perfectly restful and fabulous day.  It's late, I had a road detour on my way home (flooded road or bridge, I guess) and I'm a bit tired for words, but I have a few photos to share to give you a couple of glimpses into the day.

Make no mistake:  Artists live here.

  Ruby's daughter is painting the house.  Yes, that is purple and lime. 

Ruby's scarves hang in the entrance to the house. Color and creativity abound here. Everywhere you look, there is another piece of art. Paintings by Ruby's husband Ken.

Judy's Generous Slice of Heaven:

Her barn/studio/workshop.

View from the deck. See the geese under the apple trees?

Magic globes in the forest?  I think so. Or they could be sheep.  Just ask Ruby.  (Ruby has new progressive-lens glasses.  It's possible that on the drive over to Judy's house she mistook several large rocks in a field for sheep. And that was before the elderberry cocktails. But you didn't hear that from me.)

Another pond view.

Bye, ladies.  Thank you for a wonderful day!

205. (Sometimes) You Get What You Pay For

It's always fun to find nifty new tools for the blog.  I'm not sure where I originally found Blogflux, but it wasn't so very long ago, and I loved the little feature I had running in my sidebar for a while that told how many users were online at a particular time.  Well, about a month ago, it just stopped working.  Always showed "zero" users online.  That is just not cool, since I knew it wasn't even close to accurate, and it was, you know, harmful to my ego to see that big fat zero all the time.  I waited a while, expecting them to fix it, but that never happened.  I thought maybe the code had gone obsolete already because there had been an update, I recalled, to Javascript, and I wondered if that had something to do with it.  I took down the code and went back to the site and resubmitted my url, copied and pasted the code back in.  Nothing.  I went to the site and re-registered.  Of course I ran into the old, "We already have a user with that email address" business.  YES, I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE BROKEN!  Fix yourself, you eejits!  So I put it in with a different email address, and entered the new code in my sidebar.  Still nothing. 

I wrote to them.  I suppose I should have taken a big hint when the comment/feedback box would not connect to them -- just sat there and never submitted.  Twice.  Three times.  I wrote to their email address listed in the "contact us" section.  Still nothing. 

So I gave up.  I took down the code from my sidebar.  Really too bad, because I liked that sweet feature.  But oh well.  As we keep on learning in this blogging life (now doesn't that sound melodramatic?!), you get what you pay for.  Blogflux is free, perhaps it has an extra "L" in its name and it's really Blogfux, and apparently the makers have permanently left the building.

When I was writing this post, I went to their site to get their url to link, and I found this blog post claiming that the Who's Online feature was fixed back in May.  I left a comment saying, "Nope, not fixed."  I guess I shouldn't be surprised that the comment just hung there and didn't go through either.  Sigh. 

My message:  Don't waste your time with Blogflux.

Meanwhile, I have picked up this nifty feature that I am in love with, but it is a bit addictive to watch it flow. 

I don't really like the look of a cluttered sidebar, and I often toy with the idea of taking everything down, but then the rings that I belong to (and even the ones I started) would go, and I really don't want that.  I am tired of my old knitting photo galleries, but some readers come here via those links. 

Also, I have gained a renewed appreciation for the old-school blog-reading list.  There are just so many blogs out there I can't keep up with them.  In the old days that was exactly how I got started reading so many blogs and meeting so many wonderful people -- checking out people's blog reading lists.  I landed on one blog that linked a list and I'd go down and read the list and add many of the same people to my sidebar, etc.  That was in the days when there were maybe 100 blogs. (Can you even believe there was that day?!)

When things in blogland got so overbloated (and yes, there were some politics involved, too), many of us took down our reading lists and got feedreaders. Now I've seen a few blogs with the old-style feature brought back, and I must say I love it.  I may go back to that, although my reading list is way, way too big.  Though my overall list is long, there are really only a few that I make sure I visit every day and that I could say I recommend to others, usually based on personal acquaintance with the blogger or just overall excellence or similarity in taste, ideas, and style with me. I'm not sure if I'm going to go there, but it's more than a passing thought.

So given all this talk about getting what you pay for, I thought it'd be a fun time to do this game again:

My blog is worth $88,068.24.
How much is your blog worth?

Ha.

204. It's A Red-Lettuce Day*

Harvest Photo of the Day

Lettuce 'Red Velvet' and 'Red Romaine'

These were planted on the day we started the Garden-Along. I picked them the day before yesterday.  They made for two extra-large, delicious, and pretty dinner salads.

Oh, P.S. I had my first ripe tomato the other day. I rushed the picking of it a wee bit -- it wasn't quite fully ripe -- but the flavor!  Oh, the flavor!  If that preview is any indication, my tomatoes are going to be extra-delicious this year. It was an Early Girl, and there is another that is flirting with becoming ripe.  Soon there will be a flood of ripe red orbs.

*title for Ryan

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P.P.S.  Being ever resourceful, and remembering a trick that Silvia taught me, I found a number on one of the tags of my workout top, and lo and behold, I found it available at a few places online.  Here it is in black.  And here it is in desert rose (I ordered the last M one left and it's already winging its way to me) and a lighter coral color.  I saw it somewhere else in the dreaded pastels and also a white, a bright blue and a purple. I highly recommend this design. The photos don't really do it justice, but it is a perfect marriage of looks, fit, and function. Be sure to check out the back view.

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P.P.P.S. Plans have been made and tickets have been bought.  Yes, my pretties, I will be taking some local, medium-range, and not-so-local mini-vacations in the next few weeks.  I can hardly stand the excitement! Sadly, I can't go everywhere and see everyone I'd like to, but this is not about the negative -- only about the positive. Details to follow, of course.

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203. Flexibility, or the Lack Thereof

Well, I must say that the new workout top Abigail got me for my birthday, when worn with Bikram yoga shorts, was a Big Hit with The Guys at the Gym.  That was a good ego boost.  Thanks, Abigail!  The place was mobbed with some familiar and some new faces.  What can I say? It's a very jockish, friendly and bored community. Funny how back in the day, I hated that sort of attention.  Now that I'm almost old, I'm a lot more flexible about these things (heh), and I will admit that it's OK with me now.

The top was a big hit with me, too -- very comfortable, with enough coverage but not too much (ahem) and it's made of that really great wicking mesh material.  Very breathable and just perfect, even for the Bikram Session that Kicked My Ass (tm) last night.  More about the Bikram ass-kicking session later. 

I immediately came home and tried to find the top online because I wanted to order more.  But I can't find it ANYWHERE.  It's made by Nike.  I know that in the store we bought it (which was somewhere in Midtown Manhattan, but I don't remember the store name or where it was), I did consider getting another one, but the rest of the colors were "ick" -- pastel grey and pastel pink.  I hate pastels.  The one I got is black.  Anyway.  Sad that there aren't more available, but glad I got it.  I probably have enough workout tops anyway. 

So, once again (this is the perennial story) I waited too long since the last time I went to Bikram class.  This time I really knew it:  I've been hurting, and hurting in that way that I just know is because I'm in serious need of stretching deeply and properly.  My shoulder is bothering me again, my feet have been KILLING me, my neck hurts, my back feels like it belongs to a robot.  Ick, ick, ick. 

I hydrated very well, I ate properly that day, but man!  I think that was the hardest class I've ever done, and my performance was the worst it's ever been.  I saw flashes of darkness (as opposed to flashes of light or colors -- just these black clouds, sort of).  I might call it dizziness, but that word doesn't seem quite accurate.  I was strongish and I wasn't all that wobbly with the balance -- overall my fitness level is still good.  I don't know if it was the heat, the humidity, or just what it was, but yowsa.  I'm very glad I went, and I have to just look at it as a new start.  I've GOT to find a way to make myself get in there more regularly again.  Maybe the ogling and the fawning as I walk through the gym to the hot yoga room will give me the incentive I need? 

202. I'm Glad Sandy and Ryan Were Reading Yesterday. Otherwise, Nobody Would Have Laughed at My Clever Title

All those beets to pickle came with lots and lots of greens attached.  I hate to see them go to waste, so while I was pickling the beets, I also set out to clean, chop, blanch and freeze the greens.  I managed to get one very small bag frozen during the process of the pickling of the beets.  I felt daunted by the task, and said something along the lines of, "Screw it. I'm just going to compost those greens. I'm too damn tired." 

I think maybe I am getting old.  Not one f word in the whole thing. 

But anyway, I took some time off, took a shower, took a rest, talked to Abigail on the phone, took care of some email and some other things, went outside in the pouring (and I do mean pouring) rain to plant some bok choy seeds in the space left empty by some of the beets, and I just couldn't stand it. I saw that giant pile of greens and thought how welcome they would be to me next winter. The next thing I knew, I was washing, chopping, blanching, and freezing some more.  I ended up with three little quart-size (but not full ones) bags.  A huge pile of greens cooks down to almost nothing, and it was long past my bedtime so I could not get to processing all of the greens.  It really does seem a bit disheartening at times, but I still love it.  I love the idea of it being made by my own sweat and toil (I love to sweat and toil) and coming from my own soil and being pure and clean and as nutritious as it can be.

In a funny twist of fate, I had to go in to the UVM studio yesterday to re-steno-caption the Michael Pollan talk so it would be captioned in "hard copy" in perpetuity, so to speak. Listening to his message again made me feel quite smug (in a good way) that I had done the extra Freezing of the Greens the day before. The Freezing of the Greens has such a nice ring to it.  It sounds so....I'm not sure...but it reminds me of The Changing of the Guard or something.  What that has to do with anything I have absolutely no idea.  Welcome to the scary recesses of my mind. My thoughts are .... well, unique. You gotta give me that.

Speaking of scary recesses, you know I've been having serious backyard chicken envy for a while now, right?  Well, through the wonders of gmail, I was linked to this yesterday.  That is terribly overpriced and too cutesy-ugly for my taste.  I'm sure I could fashion something similar, but more tasteful and more economical, even if I had to hire it done, which -- let's face it -- I would.  If there wasn't the issue of several feet of snow in my very steep backyard in the winter, I'd be tempted.  Sorely, sorely tempted. 

But then, would I be able to handle the controversy it might cause?

Anyway, back to the greens. Three meals is three meals (that's the New Math). Add that to the other things I have already frozen and, well..... I've got a whole couple weeks' worth of vegetables. It's still worth it, but.....siiiigh. 

Right now, though, I'm about to go cook up some local Vermont maple-cured bacon and a huge batch of greens for dinner. And yes, it feels damn good.

UPDATE:  I wish I'd photographed that meal, because damn, that was delicious, and it was a local meal worthy of my entry in the locavores' blogging effort.  But I'll describe it to you, which is almost like seeing it and tasting it, right?  I chopped the wonderful thick-cut local bacon into inch-and-a-half-long pieces, thereabouts.  I put it in my chef's pan at low heat to let it almost "melt" rather than fry.  I cut up a red onion from my garden and added it to the bacon and let the mixture cook at low heat while I went outside and waged war against the Japanese beetles for a while and poured liquid kelp on some of the vegetables.  Then I came back in, washed and chopped a whole big pile of those beet greens that I didn't get to freeze (and thank goodness for that, really) and added them to the mix.  I let it cook slowly 'til the greens were cooked just the way I like them.  I didn't add any seasoning other than the saltiness and smokiness of the bacon, and at the very last minute, after serving them up in bowls, I added a little splash of balsamic vinegar to it.  The tablespoon or so of balsamic was not local, but everything else in the very simple dish was.  Then there were blueberries from my garden for dessert.  And omygod, that was delicious. 

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Speaking of Twists of Fate, my Random Number Generator chose Moireaknittoo as the winner of the sock kit, which is a nice coincidence because she has the same birthday. Isn't that cool?  Congratulations!