115. Random Work-Related Stuff

1.  Random is not just for Wednesdays anymore.

2.  Best quote from a CART event ever:  "I couldn't hear what she had to say about hearing aids, so I'm not sure if I need hearing aids or not."  The person was dead serious (and visually challenged, so could not read the CART screen very well). 

3. It's been a long week of long days.  Today will be no exception.  Someone is coming to speak, and it will be the debut of my new authentic captioning software. Up to now, we've just been projecting my computer screen to a larger screen via a projector.  Now it will look like real television captions, with the speaker's video above the words. Pretty neat.  Now more than ever, the unindoctrinated will probably believe the captions are being done by voice recognition software.  This speaker will undoubtedly be so erudite (and need I mention controversial?) I will make a million mistakes, so I guess I should just let them go ahead and eat cake think it's VR after all.  It'll no doubt be a humbling experience.  One good thing about captions versus the large CART screen -- it only shows two to three lines of text on the screen at a time, rather than 25 lines lingering.  The mistakes will be pushed off the screen faster, at least. 

4. Bueller? Yes, I've put that in my dictionary. I've been prepping every chance I get for weeks.  It's anybody's guess what he might talk about.  Anything from intelligent design to Michael Moore to economics to the law to acting to the U.S. troops to whatever.  I've been looking up stuff online, listening to interviews (a favorite -- haha -- is the one he did recently with Pat Robertson.  Check it out on YouTube if you wish), I skimmed his last book, etc. 

5. I don't get paid, per se, for prep, though my fee for an event of this sort is high enough that a certain amount of prep time is, in essence, compensated.  Most reporters would probably not do this level of preparation, but if I can save myself from having a panic attack by over-prepping, that's my preferred M.O., and I like to think that's what separates the men (me) from the boys.  When I was at the BBC, there was a staff of Oxbridge-educated people doing the research for me, giving me education about the topic and the speaker, and feeding me the words.  Those were the Cinderella-at-the-ball-before-the-clock-struck-midnight days.  Now I do it all myself, and I have a hard time making people understand how much work it is, and a hard time making people understand why most other reporters don't want to do this work.  At the moment, I have three pages on a yellow legal pad, two columns each, of words and names that I want to be sure are in my steno dictionary.  Everything from apes and orangutans (which he loves to use in his interviews about Darwinism) to Ben Bernanke to General Petraeus to niggardly to Darwinian(s), to Mike Huckabee to Bork and Bjork to theist(s) to aborigines to Nazism to Third Reich to Guillermo Gonzalez to hecklers to abiogenesis to... you get the idea. 

6. Clearly I will not have thought of everything, and that's even assuming I remember how to stroke the word in whatever way I have entered it into my dictionary.  The way my brain works, I initially stroke it in according to my logic as to "what would make sense" without any thought or hesitation, and that's usually -- keyword usually -- how I would stroke it in the heat of the moment.  Then arise the unanticipated conflicts or word boundary problems. Every single time one of those arises in my work, I say, "I've got to remember that one so I can blog about it or give it as an example," but then when I go to write about it or talk about it, I can't remember a single one.  Sorry.  You'll just have to take my word for it.  (But of course, voice recognition software doesn't have word boundary problems.  False.)

7.  With my increasing specialization in CART work, I felt I needed to get some new business cards, separate from the cards I use for deposition or court work.  I didn't want to put all that I do on one card, because the two fields really don't overlap and I think it would be confusing.  Also, the cards for the legal work are rather understated and elegant. I allowed myself to get a bit more colorful and playful for the CART cards.  See?

  Fun.  Avec orange.  I handed one to Xianglian, and she loved it.  She read, "Communication Access Realtime Translation," and then said, "Ohhhhhh, THAT'S what CART stands for!  Nobody ever told me." 

That's me:  Norma, a la CART. (Shoot.  I should copyright and trademark that and use it for my business name someday.  Don't you dare steal it!)   

Notice there is not one word on there about me running voice recognition software.  All right, that's the last time I'm even going to mention voice recognition software.  I promise, I'll give it up.  If I don't shut up about voice recognition software, one, I'll lose friends, and two, I'll end up the number one hit on Google when one Googles voice recognition software.  Mwahaha.

8.  I've just been notified that I've now got a summer school student, a grad student who majors in English.  As I was saying goodbye to the biology grad students and faculty yesterday, I thanked them for putting up with me all year and told them that I will now be working "in English," and we all had a good laugh that I probably won't remember how to write "regular words" anymore. So after the graduate-level summer school English course, there will follow in the fall the following:  organic chemistry, a nutrition course, another graduate-level English course, and a couple of as-yet-unknown courses.  And still no voice recognition.  Oops.

9. And just before I went to bed last night (about midnight), I quickly checked my stats.  One of the last searches to land on my blog was "how to stop repeating words in head in court reporting."  Yes, that is a hazard of this occupation.  You talk, we are repeating it in our heads.  Even more specifically, we are repeating the words while at the same time mentally forming the finger positions of the steno strokes (or outlines, as we call them).  Freaky, huh? I've stopped doing that most of the time now, but it took YEARS (decades, probably) for the words to stop.  That is one reason it is hard for me to watch TV, I think, and to listen to things like music when I get home from work -- or it used to be that way, especially when I worked all day every day in court.  Now that I work less, it is less.  No need to send the men in the white coats. 

Comments

[Wanda]

No need to send the men in white coats, just yet, Norma? Hahaha!

The new card is pretty cool.

[Kristen]

Nope, you're not obsessed. ;) (Spiffy cards!)

[BunnyQueen]

Norma, of *course* you use voice recognition software. In fact you use the finest, most up to date software there is.

Yep. It's the human brain. Personally, I just cannot believe that programmers will ever devise a way for a computer to recognize all the weird ways people speak a language, even if you only consider the native speakers.

BTW, it doesn't matter what your job is, you will always run into the inconsiderate twits who think that what you do is sooo much easier than what they do. I do volunteer animal welfare work and hear all the time about how fun it must be. It is, but it is also heartbreaking to see the results of thoughtless people combined with animals.

[toni in florida]

About #9 on your list: When learning to type, umpteen-thousand years ago, I'd "air type" all the time, to help build the muscle memory to use the correct fingers for different letters and numbers. I'd type along with thoughts, other people's conversations, TV shows, music, pretty much anything I heard. It worked and I became a better typist. Then I had jobs that didn't require much typing and my speed/skills dropped. When I applied to work as a 911 dispatcher, there was a typing test and I was afraid I'd be too slow, so I started "air typing" again. I didn't hold my hands out in typing position, of course, but my fingers would twitch as if hitting the keys. It got to the point that I wasn't even aware I was doing it, until it was pointed out to me by whomever I was holding hands with. Hey, it worked: my typing speed more than doubled in a short time and I got the job! After years of typing every day, I'm pretty fast now, sometimes even accurate, and the twitching has stopped... at least when I'm awake! Who knows what happens when I'm asleep?

[Carole]

I like your new business cards a lot!

[margene]

Norma, ala CART....it's perfect. You've had quite the week. You sound a bit tired. Take care!!

[CindyCindy]

Yes, but will the men in the white coats do voice recognition?

[Julie]

You should have fun with Ben today - try not to snort out loud. I do the same talking-to-myself when I'm writing numbers. I'll repeat them in my head in 7-digit sequences (like a phone number). Your new card is perfect!

[jessica~]

Reading about your work is so interesting! I love that you do all that prep and I totally understand why you do it. Hope you have a blast listening to him speak!

[Phyllis]

About #9--I'm a retired professional musician and it has taken me about 10 years to be able to listen to recordings and not automatically critique them. :-p I can finally truly enjoy listening to music again.

Of course, on many of them, I can tell you where and when I played them and with who. I just close my eyes and I'm back in the chair with the music swirling around me. Muscle memory is a very powerful thing.

I like your cards, and yes, you NEED to copyright your slogan.
:)

[Angie]

Norma, I've been sitting near a CART reporter this week at a conference. Based on my observations this week and your descriptions of some of the challenges, *my goodness* you (and others in your line of work) work hard while providing a valuable service! I don't know if you have the same type of machine as the person I observed this week, but it looks very cool and mysterious. Phooey on the VR guys, there is NO way it can approach the service you provide.

[Cordelia]

Of course voice-recognition software doesn't recognize word boundaries; there aren't any. The speech stream is continuous and it's only our familiarity with the language that makes it seem discrete. Any of those jerks don't believe you? tell 'em to listen to a language they don't know.
(I will admit to finding the *idea* of VRS cool, but that's because I like the math involved. Not because I want to put you out of a job.)

[lisa]

Glad an email sparked the post! My organic chemistry professor was Belgian, and he had a thing against the French... I thought he'd fail me on my name alone. One day he was talking about tetrahedrons and how they make the best little shapes to puncture tires (because they will always land point up) when you toss them out your window to get the car behind you. I'm with you, a little extra (little hah!) prep to save panic is well worth it.

[Nora]

Think of what those goofy "mask" reporters do when they watch TV! Can't you see them with their hands over their faces, going "wa WA wa waa wa..."

Sorry, it struck me funny.

BTW once I was in court in rural Nebraska. The judge came out and called the case, and argument began. It struck me that we were missing something. I poked my local counsel in the ribs and and whispered "where's the court reporter?" She nodded at the court clerk, who, I SWEAR TO GOD, was taking pen and paper shorthand of the proceedings. I never. The transcript wasn't bad, either.

[Cynthia]

Norma, you're just extra-special wonderful!!

[Michelle]

Norma, my spinach is up and it's been only about a week since I planted it! Just in time for the crappy weather we're supposed to get.
Nice business cards.

[Marcia Cooke]

Norma a la CART.....OMG! THAT should have been your new blog name, and yes I'm shouting! It would have been (would be) perfect!

[Visionsister]

Norma a la CART... Brilliant! I can't wait to see that business card!

[Cathy-Cate]

I FIFTH Norma a la CART being brilliant! If this were purely a Voice Recognition blog (oops, sorry, NOT, ha!), it would be a great blog title! As it is, however, there's the gardening and nominal knitting and intermittent ranting and ass discussion etc. So not quite the perfect blog title for you.

I too, like Toni, air typed incessantly at one point, and I'm not even type A-ish. My older brother and I were in a high school typing class (only class we've ever been in together, he was in it because he's a computer geek) and among other reasons to practice, we had sibling rivalry going on. And I was a cross-country runner back then. So during the endless miles of training, I would be typing things in my head and my fingers would twitch. Damn QWERTY keyboard, anyway; we had a manual typewriter at home then, and I remember my left little and ring fingers having trouble with the stiff 'a' and 's' and slipping between the keys and breaking fingernails. But I was given a Selectric typewriter woohoo! upon high school graduation, and then in college, I worked as a typesetter on some of the first computer workstations. And I'm not even that old! I don't think.

Fun fact for ?younger readers who may not know this: the standard English keyboard is set up the way it is, with most of the most commonly used letters (e, t, r, a, s) on the usually non-dominant left hand, in order to SLOW DOWN typing so that manual typewriters didn't jam. Grrrr.

I'd love to see your apparatus some day, Norma.

(You know what I mean, that wasn't a proposition....)

[Dave]

Writing shorthand in my head has kept me awake during many long, boring meetings ... don't discount its functionality. :-)

[Anne]

I type along with things I read or hear too... except I do it with my toes.

If the men in white coats show up for you, feel free to send them my way.

[Jennifer]

I remember when I was learning to type in High School I used to "type" words in my head and on my fingers when I saw them on billboards, etc. Drove me nuts.

[minnie]

i understand about pre-prep. the few times i've had to translate for my mother at an event where i know there's an established "script," i've asked for a copy, so i know what's going on. (she's deaf)

ben stein, huh? lucky stiff!