The Return of WTF Wednesday (and Prizes)

I suppose it was time for a smackdown.  It was Wednesday, after all. 

I had a deposition yesterday; the deponent was a young Chinese woman.  I was marveling at her excellent English and marveling at my excellent steno and my even better hearing and understanding of her (excellent) English, because, you know, I am such hot shit.  All throughout the depo, she talked about a restaurant at a shopping center, and the entity or store adjacent to the restaurant was The Futon Bed. 

Makes sense, right?  Everything is good.  I'm such hot shit!  I am!  I am!

Then the attorney asked a question about the ATM.  Still nothing out of the ordinary.  The witness responded about the ATM at The Futon Bed, which I assumed was a store at the shopping center.  Could happen. 

Then what the f*ck was the attorney talking about next? 

The Fulton Bank.

All those times she said (or rather, I heard) "Futon Bed," she was really saying, "Fulton Bank."

Apparently I'm not such hot shit after all. 

*sigh*

--------------------------
So, take a look at this. 

No, not the book, although that is interesting, too.  My name is in it -- you see? 

Anyway, that is 7 inches (wide) of pure cashmere.  Can you think of anything that would feel better than 7 inches of pure cashmere? 

Okay.  But other than that?

I am using Paula's "Corrugater" scarf pattern for this manly scarf.  Manly, yes, but I like it too.......  (Who is too young to know what I'm referring to there?  Step up and raise your hand.  You might win a prize.)

I am enjoying the knitting of this verra-verra much, even in the brutally hot temperatures we've been having lately. Yesterday I had some down time. I went into Bruegger's, which has delicious sandwiches (I highly recommend the Western Wheat, Available-All-Day, Breakfast Sandwich) and exceptionally virile air conditioning (some people were complaining it was cold and putting on sweaters!  wimps!), and I ate my sandwich and soaked up some of that air conditioning and knitted on cashmere for an hour or so.  This one thing might actually make me into a knitter once again.  Imagine that. 

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Speaking of scarves, are you knitting or crocheting on your red scarf?  The mailing can begin any time now.  We need to send a few right away so Doug doesn't worry too much that, with the excitement of the Red Scarf Fund, we've all forgotten about knitting scarves.  I assured him we haven't, and that once the weather cools down a bit, we'll be knitting even more.  :)

Doug reports that the Red Scarf Fund is at $4315 from over 200 donors!  Way.to.go, friends!!!  That is just wonderful.  I feel so good about it, I'm going to give away some stitch markers.  Right now.

Melissa, please send some or your sweet little stitch markers to:

Shelly G.

and

Donna W.

----------

Well.  That felt good.  And then there is the lingering memory of knitting on that wonderful cashmere..... 

I feel so good, I think I'll keep on giving.  How about if I have Kay send her lovely pile o' books and yarn to......drum roll, please.......

Rose, aka Madame Purl.

Ahh, now, that felt nice. 

But WAIT!  Don't go!  I'm not done yet! 

How about we have Margene give her Suri Alpaca Laceweight to the recently delurked Pamela M.  See?  Delurking has its advantages.

Congratulations to all the winners and thank you again to all the donors! 

Now, go have a good Thursday, and don't forget to knit or crochet red scarves and send them to the OFA starting next week, through the month of October.

If I'm not too tired tonight, I'll draw some more prizes for tomorrow.  If I am too tired, I'll do it first thing Tuesday morning, following the Labor Day weekend.  Stay tuned.  Custom-knit socks could be in the offing.  You never know. 

Comments

[Kristen]

I may be too young. There are vague hints of a commercial for a man's cologne or deodorant swirling about my brain ...

[Julia]

Irish Spring! Hey, oldsters like prizes, too :-)

[michelle]

Yes - I think there may a bit of age discrimination going on here, hmm. Fulton/Futon - easy to understand the mistake, but thanks still for the late night giggles.

If anything is going to bring back your knitting mojo it's going to cashmere.

[Cookie]

It sounds familiar, but I can't place it. That's a sign of getting old, isn't it?

Can't you get those people to give you some hints before you start typing away? You'd stand a better chance if they did.

[Cindy in Oregon]

LOL at the accent. I do transcription via MP3 and RM files and I have similar issues all the time with accents, especially Asian ones for some reason. At least the light bulb came on before you finished the manuscript so you could do a search and replace! :)

[Dave Daniels]

And she also wasn't calling you a fucking bomb, she said you are a bumbling blond.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha

[Leanne]

I'm definitely old enough to remember those commercials. And I quote it often, in the accent (although my Irish accent may sound more like the Lucky Charms guy). Isn't it scary that I remember more TV commercials from my youth than books I read (and I read a lot, and watched little TV)?

[Carole]

Damn, I remember that commercial.

[jodi]

That's a line I use a lot, with as cheesy a rendition as possible of the female actor's abysmal fake Irish accent. Nobody under thirty (or thirty-five) has a clue what I'm talking about. Which is exactly the same thing that caused me to stop saying, hey you kids! get out of that jello tree. My students (18 to 22 year olds) thought I was completely whack.

[B.]

We never bought that Irish Spring stuff because we didn't think we should have to peel our soap.

[Paula]

Corrugater? I kind of like that. And if I knit it in the round then it can be a Corrugaiter (-: . Anyhoo, glad you are enjoying it.

[Cathy-Cate]

Yes, we use the 'manly' line a lot at our house. My children just roll their eyes and put up with it. I did have to explain it once. (I'm lost at Jodi's jello tree, though, I admit.)

I think there should be prizes for being old enough to have survived this long with enough brain cells to remember "Irish Spring" soap commercials. Except it's kind of an abuse of brain cells, but what can you do? It's stuck there and it's not coming out!

[julieanne]

Manly, yes, but I like it too.......

*raises hand* I have no idea where this is from. =)

[Helen]

Well now, 'tis an odd thing to be prattling on about the Spring in Ireland when you're in the heat wave in Vermont, but perhaps the leprechauns have gone and addled yer mind? Tis not an Irish Spring we're havin' here. Tis a bloody heat wave.
And it's clearly fried your brain if you're thinking warm scarves NOW (though even in the heat, 7" of cashmere STILL sounds delicious.
I know someone who uses Irish Spring soap to try to deter deer from devouring her lettuces in the garden.... evidently they either think it's too manly, or just don't like it.

[Carla]

Not only do I remember well the Irish Spring ads- but I also went to boarding school with the young ( then) boy who had to also say that line, after the actress (mom). How we teased him!

[alotta.knittin]

Yes, Irish Spring. Why is it that I can remember stupid commercials but not where I put my knitting notebook??? And while we're playing Stump the Chump (NPR's Klick & Klack) anyone out there remember the Buster Brown shoe jingle? And by the way, simply adore the cashmere. Honey, I'd play around with cashmere is ANY weather!

[naomi]

Well, from reading the comments, I'm beginning to comprehend that reference, but I'm not actually familiar with its source.

And that's what a/c is for, yes? Knitting (okay, and sleeping) in otherwise-hot weather.

[Kathleen]

I remember the commercial. And I remember the peacock reference on Wendy's blog (http://wendyknits.net/) too.

Which means I.Am.Old! :) That's okay. Somebody has to be old. Might as well be me!

Handsome scarf you're knitting there!

[ellie]

*raises hand* too young. sorry. but i am working on my scarf!

[Adriana]

*Raises hand* Doesn't ring any bells.

Speaking of age gaps, at my work for some reason there are the 20 year olds and the 50 year olds (nothing in between). Yesterday someone mentioned the tv show Beauty and the Beast and it got confusing with the young'uns talking about the cartoon and the mature'uns not understanding what a talking candlestick had to do with it :)

[Arianne]

I have no idea what "Manly yes..." is referring too...don't nkow if that makes me young or stupid...(I think the second!)

Congratulations on your red scarf project raisers!

[Kay]

I once was a court reporter...in Hawaii. A melting pot of dialects, asian slang and some American slang too. Ever try a deposition with someone who only speaks "pig latin"? I was with an elderly lady looking for the "feesh mark". I didn't understand her. A very nice looking local gentleman came to my aid, she was looking for the fish market.

[margene]

I'm just about to start a scarf and I like Paula's very much! Every time we think we're hot shit we get a reminder that we're just poo.

[Libby]

I have no idea what you're talking about...

But it could be NOT that I'm too young, but just that it's far too damned early today and I haven't had any caffeine. Ugh.

[Tracey]

Hee, hee, I wonder what the interest rates are like over at The Futon Bed. LOL.
That'd be, a barr of 'ol Irish Spring soap, lass. It smells of an Irish Spring on a dewy marnin', but darned if'n it don dry out yer skin. Knittin' I'm a knittin.

[Lynn]

Oh yes I remember that commercial quite well!! But why should I be penalized for being wise in my old age?? I'm happy that I'm old enough to have seen it, but young enough to recall it!! I think there should be a prize for all of us, no??

BTW the scarf will be in the mail on Tues! Tell Doug that we have NOT forgotten!! And remind him of what happened last year. He was buried in red fiberly goodness!!

[Elizabeth]

I've never liked Irish Spring, stinky and no suds! That was right about the time of 'Mona!" but after "You're soaking in it!" wasn't it?

[Sandra]

Irish Spring! Outdoor shower, bad Irish brogue!
(And yes, Jodi, I still use the Jello tree line - my kid knows it, buthas never seen the commercial)>
And who can forget the classic "and Ah
hey-yelped!" line, spoken with a true small child Southern accent! (tanslated to "and I helped".

[Kathy]

Yup -- cast-on my scarf yesterday. An Irish Hiking in Cascade 220.

[Cellia]

Back in the old days, Mr. Celia was hired to do one of those Irish Spring commercials. But, sadly, it rained so much that winter that they had to choose an alternate location and an alternate actor closer to that locale. So much for his career in commercials.

[Lucia]

Not only do I remember that commercial, I remember its precursor from before Irish Spring decided to go after women as well and added that tag line.

We stick with Ivory, however. (Lather up with Ivory!)

Do you suppose commercials are taking over my brain? Nah.

[Meghan]

Ok I had a vague tickling of the brain with the "Manly yes.. but I like it too" but the jello tree has me totally confused. Were they selling jello or trees or none of the above? Hmm time for some googling I think.

I love the scarf and am jealous that you get to play with cashmere! Have fun and hope the next deposition makes you feel like hot shit and doesn't knock you down. :)

[Doris]

I am sorry to say, both because it means I am old enough and because it means that the commercial has used up some of the brain cells that I have many other uses for, that I remember the commercial. It really scares me to think of the nonsense that I remember and all the good stuf that I have forgotten!

[Beth S.]

It reminds me of "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman", but I know that's not the answer.

I'm not surprised the scarf is giving you such pleasure. I'd have to check your pulse if holding pure cashmere in your hands failed to make you feel all tingly. ;-)

[Wanda]

That's a beautiful pattern you're working on. If cashmere couldn't make you enjoy knitting again, I don't know what would!

[claudia]

Why do I actually remember this? Couldn't that brain cell be put to better use?

[marianne]

Yep...I am NOT too young..sigh...that's alright, seriously.
Norma? You ARE hot shit, and don't ye ere forget it!

[Sue]

7 inches ... mmmm .. of cashmere, of course! ;-)

[Cookie]

Jello grows in trees?!

WTF day is it anyway?

[Nancyjane]

Well, of course it's Irish Spring, in a really bad fake Irish accent.(Un)Fortunately I'm old enough to remember. Hey, I still have my Mom in Massachusetts send me Marshmallow Fluff in Alaska. (I'm 50, for god's sake)! Anyone in N.E. remember that jingle?

[KelInCal]

I'm not too young but I have no idea!

I just ordered MORE yarn for my red scarf - first it was orange (I want red), then it wasn't superwash. I hope the third time's a charm! Once I get it, I'm going to git 'er done. :)

[Jessica]

Thanks for making me not feel old. I have no idea, which compensates for having to confess to my college freshman students that I was _not_ the target of cellphone adds when I was in high school. And that I could remember when my parents got their first dishwasher.

[sandy]

So??
~twirling hair while chomping gum~
How's your classes??
:D
xo
loving all over your scarf!

[Shelly G]

I do believe that would be the Irish Spring Soap, My Dear
:)

[Kim]

Um....I think I'm too young to understand what that was a reference to....

[AuntieAnn]

I remember Irish Spring. And I was horrified to hear DD's middle school principal use the line, "danger, Will Robinson!" He is NOT old enough to use that line. But someone please enlighten us all about the Jello tree? And -- does anyone remember PF Flyers? I always coveted a pair.

[Tiffany L.]

Well seeing as how I turn 26 tomorrow I've been feeling a little older these past few days, but I'm happy or maybe just looking for a reason to say I'm still a little young :D Anyway I can't remember that saying even after reading people's comments I don't. I know it's not old to some people ( seeing as how I work with a group of ladies that are older than my mom, who are constantly saying "but your just a baby") but thanks just the same for the chance to go huh? musta' been before me :)

[Sandee]

Ahahaha!! That's like the youtube video of the parents trying to get their toddler to say "packing peanuts"...it sorta sounded like f(#*ing p3n1s! heheheh

[Carol]

When I was working as an immigration lawyer, the secretary was constantly leaving messages that my client 'Pasta Alamo' called. He was a religious refugee from Africa called Pastor Alemu. Happens to everyone!

And yes, I so remember Irish Spring but Julia beat me to it!

[Carol]

Eye...That'd be the Irish Spring! heh,I'm old and proud ;) I'm almost done with scarf one and 1/4 through scarf 2. Feels good to be almost there!