Now Norma Knits

The Morning After A Good Blocking

...and all worries have vanished. 

Here is the finished, blocked scarf photographed (a bit overexposed, sorry) next to the brown/red one I did for the Red Scarf Project.  I am thrilled with the way they turned out and I can't wait to give the blue one to my friend. 

I was up at four this morning, cooking an egg for Abigail, who left shortly thereafter for NYC, where she will spend the rest of her vacation.  Sadly, her parents are no longer the number one priority for New Year's Eve, which is also her birthday. Four o'clock in the morning, for me to be up, is.....well.  I often don't get to bed before 1:30 or 2, so what does that tell you?  But I gladly got up and cooked her breakfast and said a sad goodbye, then of course I could not go back to sleep.  I spent two hours poring (not pouring) over the new seed catalogs (Amy, they came a day after yours did!), then laid down for a nap from 6:30 to 8:30.   Now I'm up and don't really know what to do with myself. 

I plan to knit until the ball drops -- or I do -- whichever comes first. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!!!

Thank you for being a part of my life.

Z is for Zigzag

Since this is the third of these scarves I've made this year, I think I have established that I like this pattern.   It's easy without being boring, and it's got eye-catching interest.  I feel it's one of the best uses of variegated yarn.  This is the second time I have used one skein of Lorna's Laces Worsted (colorway "Watercolor"), which is superwash, alternated (two rows at a time, or one garter ridge) with a solid superwash yarn.  In this case, because I wanted to Shop From My Stash, I used Mission Falls 1824 wool, color No.  21  (I think they refer to it as "denim," but it feels more like teal to me.)  It definitely has a greenish cast to it, and coordinates with the Lorna's "Watercolor" colorway very well, I think. I also think this pattern benefits from an added edging.  I picked up stitches (about 3/4s the number of garter ridges) and knit two rows (one garter ridge).  Then I did a couple of rows of eyelets (YO, K2Tog), and continued on in garter stitch, ending with a tip of the multi-colored yarn.

This pattern always requires blocking, and I haven't yet blocked this one.

Personally, for my own use, I am not all that fond of superwash wools. They lose their oomph, it seems to me, after a short while.  I also dislike how difficult the ends are to weave in.  There is no "grab" so there are always ends poking out.  You trim them, they poke out more.  You wash the item, they poke out more.  Drives me nuts.  However, in this case I am knitting for a non-knitter, and I know the non-knitters need the machine-washable and the soft.  And this combination meets those criteria. 

This is a gift scarf, and I hope the recipient likes the colors.  All during the knitting of this scarf I kept vacillating between loving it and being not-so-sure.  I've kept an eye on the colors the recipient seems to wear, and her coats, and I hope I've got it right.  The scarf seems a bit more colorful than the things I've seen her wear, so she may think it's too colorful and bold, but I think it will complement her skin, eye and hair tones nicely.  She has been openly admiring and asking questions about the scarves I wear, which I took as a hint.  I hope she likes it. 

Is That LIGHT I See at the End of The Tunnel?

It can't be!  Is that...?!  Wait, freakin' HELL, I do believe it IS!!!  On my so-called vacation I have worked and worked and worked and worked (until 1:30 a.m. yesterday morning, and up again at 7:30 doing MORE), until it's almost ALL DONE.  I just have a few crumbs left on my plate -- 30-ish pages left to do -- piece of cake, and I think I'm going to leave them until after New Years, just be-CAUSE.  I pushed myself to get one particular project done by noon yesterday so I could deliver it to Burlington when I went to spend the afternoon going to appointments and shopping with Abigail.  It felt soooo good to have a real "girl" afternoon off and to feel the weight of the work lifted from my shoulders.  I had really hoped to make it to the chiropractor before they closed, but our shopping and stuff took too long. 

But here it is, Friday already.  It came too soon.  Crud.  But anyway, did I mention?  LIGHT!  Tunnel!  Relief!   Up for today?  Maybe chiropractor (my back and neck need a tuneup), hopefully knitting, maybe dinner and a movie.  Ahhh.  It's the good life.  From the office's point of view, I've taken more than a week off.  To me, I get one day.  Seems fair, don't it? 

So that's really all I have to say, except Paula is having a contest.  Guess the amount that Harlot's ultimate MSF total will be, and Paula will might give you something. [ed: in the light of the next morning, I realized the trouble my word "will" could get us into...heh. She MIGHT give you something -- MIGHT]   The prizes are yet to be determined, but I met Paula in Rhinebeck last fall, and I know she's a generous soul.  It'll be something great, I just know it.  So go ahead, email her your guess.  What have you got to lose?  (and Stephanie, if you are reading this and haven't yet read her email, she would like you to please hold off on posting the total until her contest closes.)  I already put in my guess. 

El Bizarro Copyright Whackos -- A New Movie Coming to Theaters Near You!

Lucky for me, as I said to Cara, I rarely write anything -- and certainly ALMOST NEVER photograph anything -- that is worth stealing.

But read this anyway, if you haven't already.  (You probably have.) (click on the underlined word "this" in that sentence.  I have learned recently that some people did not know that that signified a link.  I am beginning to think bloggers and blog-readers perhaps need to be licensed, or we need to come up with a BRAT - Blog-Readers' Aptitude Test© . No offense.) 

In Cara's blog post, wherever it says "Cara," substitute "Norma" and any place it says "January One," substitute "Now Norma Knits." 

I mean really, people!  It's common sense, is it not?  You're not whackos, are you?!  I'll come over there and smack you if you don't smarten up! I mean it! I don't suffer fools, gladly or otherwise. 

Wait, there's more, sort of a side topic, since we're on rants:  Please don't ask me to give you a copy of somebody's pattern for free.  It won't happen, and I'll just get my dander up.  And you don't like me with my dander up, trust me.

And people just coming onto the scene and pulling this kind of crap?  You WILL be found out.  We are a fast-growing and fairly big community, but we are a community, and you'd be amazed how tight we are.  We are connected, baby.  It's just a matter of time until someone who knows someone (or the aggrieved party) finds out.  You can run but you can't hide.... 

.....Okay, now I'm making myself laugh.  I really do slay myself -- don't I slay you?!  But seriously.  Some of us (including Cara and me, for example) will laugh about it because, well, life is too short to get our panties in twists over things like this and there really are more important things to worry about.  HowEVER, don't be stupid.  That's all we ask. 

In this particular case, the blatant copying and pasting of an entire post, verbatim, was so bizarre that we have to believe it was truly a naive and honest mistake, sort of like the grandmother who put her grandbaby in the baby carrier through the x-ray machine at the airport last week.  Um. Those poor TSA people (work with me here) who saw a little skeleton in there?  Freaking hell.  Can you IMAGINE? The transgressor in this incident really must have just not realized it was wrong.  One just has to briefly wonder:  WHY? and then carry on with one's life. 

Sigh. I guess I'll have to get off my lazy butt and put some sort of language about this back on my sidebar, since it appears that, indeed, the world is populated with whackos.  Either that, or continue to write drivel and take crappy photos that no one, not even the whackos, would copy.

Yeah, that's it!  See?  There was a method to my madness all along!

And you thought I was just crap. Ha! The crap was intentional. 

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

In short:  Don't make me get all fucksake over yo' ass. ©

Some People Get All The Great Ideas!

I never thought to try this.

It's Not Only the Blogging Mojo That's On Hiatus

The kitchen mojo has flown the coop, too.  Unfortunately, my extended family, for whom I have been The Cook since I was 10 years old -- the person who can (the way they see it) look in the pantry to find only some dried beans, a bag of flour, a jar of capers and a jar of home-canned tomatoes and somehow end up with lobster bisque, salad of field greens, succulent roast pork, roasted herbed sweet potatoes, and steamed asparagus with garlic-butter sauce -- did not get the memo that I am now a freaking menace in the kitchen. 

I should throw something gynecological in here, so Rams will comment, but I have no fresh ideas.  Wait, I know, how about "buns in the oven," Rams?!

I've baked bread since, yeah, I was about 10 or 12 years old.  I used to have sourdough starter in my fridge at all times and baked bread at least twice a week.  Ohmygod, but I do miss the sourdough.  *sighhhhhh*  Sourdough applesauce cake was in the regular Friday-night lineup around here, sourdough pancakes or waffles on the weekends, and at least one or two loaves of sourdough bread through the week.  So my sister rightly assumes that it's no biggie to ask me to bring the bread or rolls (she was being flexible there) for Christmas dinner. 

But see paragraph one above. 

And also, see the following:  I have been avoiding wheat and most other grains for a few years now.  We've (well, "I've") gone over this before, about my discovery of the Blood Type Diet and the whole blood pressure, weight, headache, cholesterol turnaround thing.  And, well, bread-baking ain't like riding a bicycle.  Well, maybe it is, but you can't just jump on a bike after several years and be assured that you won't fall on your ass.  Add to that the fact that my oven has been acting unpredictable since that whole arcing-on-the-night-before-Thanksgiving incident a few years ago, and also that my favorite place for letting the dough rise was our sunroom which is now just a condemned leaky relic of its former self, and, well, you see my problem? 

Anyhoo.  I no longer have the sourdough starter, which in itself is not an insurmountable problem, but I also can't remember what my favorite yeasted bread dough recipes were.  The feeling I got when buying wheat flour (even whole wheat) the other night was much akin to that awful feeling I had when, after having followed a vegan diet for six years, I started buying meat again.  You'd think I had just walked into the Price Chopper and picked up a bundle of smack off the shelves, for all the guilt I felt carrying it to the front of the store and paying for it.  *gasp* I am drug meat- wheat-free!  Someone might see me with this!  I have only one word for me when I get like this:  Freak. 

And then I couldn't remember what bowl I would use for bread, I couldn't remember the method, I almost forgot that I love my KitchenAid mixer for kneading the dough -- I forgot how long to knead it in there.  I felt out of my element about the entire process.  What pans do I use?  Oh, cripes, I forgot to buy yeast! Shit, didn't I used to have a candy/yeast thermometer?  And on and on like that.

My God, who am I and what have I done with Norma's brain?! 

So.  Turns out that once I forced myself to focus and get my bearings, I can do nothing now except produce a highly anticlimactic story (Rams!), because, well, hell, the rolls turned out just fine. Good, even.  Delicious, even. 

I used this recipe, substituting one cup of whole-wheat flour for a cup of the all-purpose flour, for a little added fiber and healthfulness.  They took one helluva long time to rise, but after cranking up the heat in this cool house, we got there.  And oh, the smell of yeast in the house again! Blast this gluten-free diet lifestyle.  Boy, howdy.

I placed the balls of dough in the shapes of a Christmas tree and two wreaths. I made the rolls small (one-inch balls -- Rams, ten-hut!), so they were almost bite-sized pieces, and the recipe done that way would make a fabulous addition to a buffet table, to make mini-sandwiches or whatever, perhaps even for a New Year's Party.  It fooled everyone at the Christmas dinner into thinking it was business as usual in the Norma kitchen. 

Crap, now they'll probably ask me to bake bread again next week for the next family gathering. I wonder how long I can keep up this charade. (I do know that I could buy bread, but....you know.  That part of my brain that says "That's Just Not Riiiiiight" is not dead yet.)

And I forgot to take a photo.  Sorry about the anticlimax (Rams?) and lack-of-photo thing.  I'm still searching for my blogging mojo. 

Lost: Blogging Mojo

At what point does one just simply forget to capture those special blogging moments?  At a point of blogging slump, I guess. And apparently I am in one.  I have few words, and I have a few pathetic, blurry photos.  So here they are.

First, Vincent says hello, and he had a lovely Christmas.  "Except," he has been quoted as saying, "for that whole Mommy-says-I-had-to-be-groomed bullshit.  As I've mentioned already, I'm not a big fan of the grooming.  Apparently I need to learn to be more articulate." 

Here is a blurry capture of Vincent's glare at me after we completed his very nonprofessional Christmas grooming. It's okay.  He quickly forgave.  There was chicken involved. 

More with the mini-mittens.  I couldn't stop making these the past four days.  Unfortunately for the blog, a few pairs were gifted without photographic evidence.  Bad blogger.  I will say, though, that they were received with great unrestrained glee.  You know that sinking feeling you get from either no, or a lukewarm, response from the nonknitters to your gift of handknit socks or a scarf or a hat?  Yeah, that didn't happen with these.  I highly recommend these as knitted gifts to the muggles. 

They photograph only 37.5% as cute as they really are....well, at least with me as the photographer and with the gray, fuzzy, misty low-light skies we have.

Added later, at Roxie's suggestion:

So.  I'm on "vacation."  I could not conceive of actually going in to work this week.  I am not sure if we HAVE any work on the book, but I've been caught by this before -- assume that nobody would schedule depositions the week between Christmas and New Year's, and be burned.  So I said it out loud:  DO NOT CALL.  Not that that matters much, since that's what I said for the last two weeks, as well.  Apparently when Norma says, "Do not call me until I tell you I'm ready for more work," it sounds like, "Please call me not once, but TWICE a day, and give me several all-day depositions, telling me that I am the only one who possibly CAN do them, even though I am desperately caught in the black hole of pages and may never be seen nor heard from again."  Apparently I need to work on being more articulate.

So, the net effect is, even though I am on vacation, and am suffering from the blahs, I still can't really be on vacation until I finish the remaining 350+ pages I have pending.  Something tells me it's not going to be much of a vacation. 

Regardless, as I've mentioned, January 1st dawns a new era.  We are desperately looking forward to the New Era. 

Duly Noted

My Fortune Cookie told me: Take time today to pay more attention to your imaginary friends. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

Knitting, With Eggnog Chaser

I left you all hanging.  It was completely unintentional, and I'm sorry.  I miss you guys.  I am exhausted from the work (which still isn't all done) to the point of being mute and near brain-dead.  What little time I have not been working, I have been hanging out with Abigail, snuggling while helping her get caught up on the Grey's Anatomy episodes she missed.

Today, while split-pea soup simmers on the stove, I'm knitting little mitten ornaments as hostess gifts, in between sessions of stretching my aching back on my special back-stretcher gizmo. 

I am smitten. I used this pattern.  The red ones are very special -- they're made of the red Portland wool handspun that I made my red thrummed mittens from.  That wool is quite overspun and scratchy, but using the leftovers for these ornaments is giving me a thrill.  The white is made from Berroco Furz.

Later, there will be rum-spiked eggnog and a movie and more knitting.

And no work.

Just what the doctor ordered.

I hope you all are having a restful, safe, comfy and happy weekend, and I wish you all the very best of winter holiday seasons. 

Mitzvah

Moan, groan. I completed, proofread, printed and bound 417 pages this weekend.  You know, with all the complaining I do about my work, I imagine it sounds like I don't love my job (but I do).  It is sometimes easy for me to forget that it is a gift that I am able to work and I have a way to support myself and my family, and I can be a productive member of society filling an important role.  Not everyone is so fortunate. 

So when I could grab a moment or two this weekend, when my eyes and back and neck could not take one more minute of looking at a computer screen, and after I took up the calls of Stephanie and Wendy, and one of my own choosing*, I took up some big needles and shopped the stash for yarn that I could knit quickly into a holiday gift for someone who is not so lucky as I.

As Annalisa from the Orphan Foundation recently said to me, "presentation is important." 

I used leftover yarn and a piece of glittery ribbon to festively tie the hat and scarf together, and I will deliver them to a place I know of.  I hope this gift will be like a warm, soft hug to a woman who desperately needs one.  Happy holidays. 

*I chose Toys for Tots because I learned that they recently turned down a large donation of inappropriately proselytizing "toys."  I decided they deserved my dollars for taking that brave stance.