Now Norma Knits

X is for Xiphoid

Do I seem threatening?  Scary?  Hard core?

How 'bout now?

By now it's no secret:  I'm always up to something. 

I love my kitchen knives.  Most of them are Henckels, (Yeah, I look just like that when I use mine, too) with some random stragglers added.  I try to keep them pretty sharp with the use of a honing steel, but that can only go so far. So this year, just before Thanksgiving, when even David remarked that the knives seemed dull (this is not something that would ordinarily register on his radar), I knew it was time to have them professionally sharpened.  Locally, professional knife sharpeners have gone the way of the shoe repair guy, which is to say the way of the dinosaur. (Xtinct.  Heh.)  But once again, the Internet, how do we love thee?

My special shipping box arrived today.

X is for xiphoid.

I'm totally hardcore in line for the Xocolate.

Some FOs*

Knitbloggers, start your engines!  Let's mess with the minds of the researchers. They totally don't "get" us -- we are a freak of blog nature.  We are HUGE.  We are a force to be reckoned with. We are interactive beyond reason.  We KNOW each other personally (in droves), many of us meet regularly, we comment, we band together to raise shitloads of money, we shop! we vote!  We are international. We are rural and urban. We span all ages and both sexes. We support each other in times of need. We come from all occupations, all educational levels and all walks of life. We are knit bloggers. Read about what I'm talking about here (scroll down to the bottom of Cate's entry), and link to this here, and ping here, in the name of research.  Then come back, because there is some charity knitting to report.  And we all know how scintillating a subject is the charity knitting.  Right?  Damn straight.

Multidirectional Scarf, Lorna's Laces Worsted (Dark Chocolate solid and Tuscany handpainted), one skein each, alternated every two rows; size US 8 needles.  For RSP07.  This sucker took me many, many hours.  I measure my knitting time lately by number of episodes of Grey's Anatomy.  I'd say about 17, one of them an extended holiday episode, for this.  I know!  I kept screwing up the third triangle portion.  I did not understand, at first, that because I was alternating the two yarns, I had to cut one of the yarns at the end of each triangle and start the next triangle on the other side.  I kept on making the same damn mistake, and I'd knit that triangle -- which really wasn't a triangle at all, and it would jut off at the opposite weird angle (talk about multidirectional!  I mean really, it gives multidirectional a whole new meaning) -- about 17 times, I kid you not.  Anyway, finally, mission accomplished, and I looooove this scarf.  I added some straight wide garter stitch bands to each end, to showcase the individual yarns a little more and to give the scarf a more polished finishing touch.  McDreamy.

Seriously? If you do this, learn from my mistake about cutting the yarn at the end of the last row of each triangle.  Seriously.  (too much Grey's, I know.  I have Grey's Brain. Sorry.)   

McSteamy:  The freaking Gallery of Finished Scarves.  THAT is steamin', baby.  Steamin'! I can't stop looking at that gallery like I cannot stop watching Grey's Anatomy, and that's saying something. 

There were some leftovers from the scarf, so I put them together with a strand of brown mohair that was left over from my Hot Fudge Poncho that is soooooo two seasons ago (and which has already been donated to the Salvation Army).  The next thing I knew, this popped off my needles.  For COTS Burlington. Damn cute, even if I do say so myself. (One episode.)

Abigail finished her red scarf for RSP07 from the Schaefer Elaine yarn. Then she followed her mother's lead (because of shoddy parenting, I'm sure) and ripped it off the neck of the orphans and asked me if I'd make her a hat to match with the leftovers.  So I did.

What really happened is that I ordered some more of the same yarn to make a duplicate scarf for Abigail, as she loves it so much and she has no time to knit another one. But as she was leaving for school, I realized that was silly. The one for the RSP is not even mailable until January, and Abigail needs her new scarf now. So I told her to take the one she knitted and I'd make the duplicate one for the project in her name.  I tried to complete the hat while driving her back to school the other day (no, *I* wasn't driving), but I didn't finish it until I got home.  So now I will mail it to her.  The hat is from the pattern, "Everyone's Favorite Hat & Scarf" by Fiber Trends.  (Two and a half episodes.)

What else?  Oh, yes. I was on a mission to get this yarn out of my house forever.  It is pretty awful, as Cookie will attest.  Patons Rumor.  Ick. Don't be fooled:  It sucks you in with that "alpaca" word on the label, and it really does feel soft, and the price is sort of low (first tipoff, I suppose).  But it sheds 3-inch-long ugly hairs (presumably the alpaca?), and the rayon part of the yarn catches and looks hideous after a short time (like during the actual knitting).  I tried to knit something with it three times and gave up and chucked it in my family room knitting basket.  Finally I decided I couldn't look at it any more and I needed to do something about it to get.it.out.of.my.house.  Actually, it didn't turn out so bad. It's still sheddy as all hell, but seemingly less so at this gauge and doubled -- well, make that tripled -- for the scarf.  I cast it on, held together double, along with another strand of Lamb's Pride Bulky and knitted a lengthwise garter scarf on US 17 needles.  As it turns out, it looks and feels pretty ok, if one can get past the shedding -- and the shedding seems to be somewhat contained at this gauge.  If I had made the scarf longer, I would not be ashamed to send it to the Red Scarf Project, and you know that is my baby, so I guess it's ok.  But it's rather short and narrow, so I'll send it to Dulaan instead.  It is wicked soft and warm, and quite pretty, and it took almost no time to knit.  Instant gratification (one episode) is not so bad. 

And then I immediately started a hat.  Same yarn, again doubled.  This time on US 11 needles for the hat.  Nice, firm, hefty, warm, soft hat. Bummer that I ran out of yarn before it was quite deep enough at the crown -- and it's too wide to turn into a little kid's hat (believe me, I tried).  I guess I'm going to finish it with some Lamb's Pride Bulky and ship it off to Dulaan or something.  Everybody knows what Dulaan is at this point so I don't need to link it, do I?  If not, you know what to do. 

(One episode.)

I think I need a Grey's 12-step program.  But first, I need to get a shitload of work done so I can go watch some more episodes. I downloaded it on iTunes.  Hey, Leigh:  I'm all about it. 

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*for non-knitters:  "FO" = finished object

In A Pensive Mood

Some people have mentioned that I've been quiet.  I have been sort of withdrawn lately and have not been reading or commenting as much.  I feel a bit pensive and a bit bored with the blog.  But more than that, we had Abigail home for five deliciously quiet and withdrawn and private family days.  It's a feeling to be embraced and enjoyed and absorbed.  We did a "Total Immersion Program" in our little three-member family, being home together in almost total isolation from the rest of the noisy world.  We did almost nothing, except Abigail and I knitted, and all three of us sat around, ate nice food, enjoying each other's presence, and, in a marathon session, watched the entire first two seasons of Grey's Anatomy together. We had not seen much of the show before, and we let the incredible array of emotions the show evokes wash over us. So I'm pensive, and I'm still savoring the emotions.  Because the savoring the emotions, it feels painful and delicious, and I'm not ready to let go of it yet.

Meanwhile, there are two scarves and two hats for charity.  There is no decent light for photos, and I guess it's boring anyway, blogging about charity knitting. Or so I've read.

*shrug* 

Whatever.

Easier Said Than Done

I've done an exhaustive (I think) search of all sources online that I can find, and cannot find anyone who stocks the red Schaefer Elaine yarn.  Apparently the colorway is called "Clara Barton," although I don't remember seeing that on the tag of the skein I have. 

If anyone can find it anywhere in a shop, will you please direct me to it or pick up a skein for me and I'll reimburse you (plus throw in a little something for your trouble). 

Thank you, Dear Readers!

UPDATE:  Done and DONE!  Thank you for your quick help, Joy.  I ordered it from Crazy Girl. 

Best Thanksgiving Ever

This year we had a quiet Thanksgiving, just the three of us, and it was the Best.Thanksgiving.Ever. 

No stress, no craziness, doing everything at our own pace, eating what we wanted, doing what we wanted, with no tensions or pretensions.

Did I mention?  Best.Ever.

After the pies and the cranberry sauce, my cooking mojo seemed to return.  In fact, the turkey was the best turkey I'd ever roasted.  It was moist and melt-in-your-mouth tender. The pumpkin custards (recipe to come soon) seemed to have a bit of a bitter taste the first evening, when they were still slightly warm, but when they were chilled, they were delicious.  At the first tasting, I thought it was not a recipe I would share, but once we tasted them yesterday, they were declared a success.  I didn't mention that they were borne out of the disgraceful pie crust I made.  At first I was going to just make a crustless pumpkin pie, but I've tried that before with only marginal success.  I decided to tweak the custard filling recipe and bake it in ramekins in a hot water bath.  It was so good, and it presented so very well in the little ramekins with a dollop of whipped cream. 

We went on a hike while the turkey was cooking and we watched Grey's Anatomy DVDs (starting at the beginning, and we're hooked!) while knitting.  When Abigail and I first brought the DVDs home, David scoffed.  "Chick flicks," he said.  But by last night, he was hooked, too. 
And yea, much knitting was accomplished.

Abigail has caught red scarf fever.  She is knitting that Schaefer Elaine into an sumptuous scarf.  She IS my daughter:  She is contemplating the ethics of ripping it off the necks of the orphans. I'm just so thrilled she's happily knitting and in love with a yarn that I've told her I will make her a duplicate of the scarf to keep. (or perhaps she'll want to make it herself)  I'm going to order some of it.  It knits up so fast and beautifully -- soft and interesting, colorful (it's not a solid red as the photo suggests, but interesting, variegated red) and full of texture -- on US 11 needles, 17 stitches cast on, in garter stitch. 

My latest offering for the Red Scarf Project is on the left.  A solid and a variegated Lorna's Laces Worsted, alternating two rows each, in the Multidirectional Diagonal Scarf.  The solid is Dark Chocolate, the variegated is Tuscany.  It is fabulous, soft, superwash, and fun. 

I finished my stripey mittens, which Abigail says look "Very JCrew."  She approves.  I am in love with them.  I wish Green Mountain Mohair was slightly softer so I could wear it against my neck, because I would love a scarf to match these very unmatchy, yet matchy, mittens. 

I have a sweater's worth of this yarn in the gold color of these mittens -- the colorway is called "Spice."  It has flecks of purple in it, and I love it.  I bought it on my first trip to Rhinebeck, and now, after knitting these mittens, I want to knit it up ASAP.  I bought it with Rogue in mind, modeled after Terri's.  This yarn works up beautifully for Rogue.  I've seen and felt Terri's in person, and it is to die for.  Then again, so are Claudia's two Rogues, both made of Rowan Magpie Tweed. 

And could you just die?  As an outcropping from my little swap last week, reader Jean E. wrote to offer for me to buy or swap for a boatload of Magpie Tweed.  We entered into a swap, and the boat has now landed.  Get a freakin' load of this:

Lovely, lovely, lovely. 
Swaps:  I'm a big fan.

So what to do, what to do?  I don't see myself making two Rogues for myself.  In the way-back, way-back archives, you will find that I've made one for Abigail, and it came out okay, even though I was a rank beginner at the time.  Now I get to make one for myself, but really only one, I do believe.  So decisions, decisions.  Perhaps a coin flip is in order or perhaps it'll come to me in a dream.  Perhaps you will weigh in.

Happy Turkey Day

I've not been ignoring y'all.  I swear, it happens the same every stinkin' year.  Three days before Thanksgiving until three days after the New Year, people decide they have to start taking many, many long, long, long depositions.  I finally got free of them last night (well, the depositions themselves, not the transcripts -- those are staring me in the face along with a turkey dinner to prepare), then I had to get groceries.  Today I had to get more groceries -- you know, the things I forgot to buy and the things the first store didn't have -- and I had to get a hair cut and color and..... why am I telling you all this?  I have turkey dinner to prepare! 

But the real reason for this post was to say that probably many of you have noticed that gmail has been CRAP for the past few days and fully down for most of today, so I haven't been getting any emails.  They've been trickling through very slowly, a day or more late, and all in the wrong order.  It's been slightly irksome.  But more irksome is the fact that it appears that I have forgotten how to cook and bake -- not just one or the other, but BOTH!  I have ruined two pies so far, and one batch of homemade (Vermont organic $$$, which makes it all the more painful) cranberry sauce.  I could cry. 

Seriously, I used to be quite facile in the kitchen.  What has happened?

I'm almost afraid to put that Vermont organic $$$$$$$$ turkey in the oven.  Two or three Thanksgivings ago, the element in my oven arced and burnt out before my very eyes at the very moment I was putting the turkey in the oven, and we had to take the turkey to my mom's house to roast.  What will this year's disaster turn out to be????  If it's just the pies and the cranberry sauce, I guess we'll survive.  If it's the turkey...... well, hell.  I'll just give up and stand out on the street asking strangers if they can feed my family tomorrow.  I've got my own  original-recipe pumpkin-rum custards in the oven now.  Stand by for disaster reports later.  ....

But Happy Thanksgiving anyway, everyone!

Attention Court Reporters

I've listed my Smartwriter for sale on eBay in case anyone is interested.

Bloglines has had a case of the quirks lately, so who knows when you might read this.  I decided, therefore, that I ought to put this link up sooner rather than later. 

W is for WTF

If you came here for clean entertainment today (would anyone ever?!), move on.  There is nothing here for you.  Except way at the end, you can look at a picture of a hat, if you want.  Oh, bleep. I'll save you the trouble.  I'll put it at the beginning.  Here is another hat I knit for Kaleidoscope's drive for COTS.  (Committee on Temporary Shelter) These hats are like potato chips.  Can't stop knitting them, and they go down so easily.

NOW you can move on.

--------------------------You still here?  Fine.  You've been warned.

David and I watched a couple of hours of Comic Relief Saturday night on TBS.  I don't get it.  Why would a fucking FCC-regulated network simulcast a show like that if they're going to be all prissy about it?  Hello, people, this is COMIC RELIEF.  It's a known quantity, hosted by three gifted comedians who are not known for their squeaky-clean mouths. And may I add, that's why we LOVE THEM? 

Use your heads, people.  It's late.  It's Comic Relief.  And it's filmed in Vegas.  It is not named Christian Comic Relief or G-Rated Comic Relief.  No, it isn't.  Send your kids to BED.  They shouldn't be up this late.  Fucking idiots with squeaky-clean kids anyway.  If you didn't think there would be a LOT OF SWEARING, you've got to be brain dead. Have you never seen the show before, Mr. and Ms. TBS? 

Can you imagine the poor people in the whatever -- the "cleansing booth"?  Their fingers got as much of a workout as mine get on an average work day.  (a thought that gives me an immeasurable amount of pleasure)

Three out of four fucking (pun intended) words were fucking bleeped.  It made for such a practically fucking unwatchable performance that David couldn't stand it and went to bed early.  I persevered only because I  so dearly wanted to see it and hoped to enjoy it, and because I had my knitting to keep me occupied.  And being a court reporter, I guess I could sort of get the gist.  But still.  AWFUL doesn't even begin to describe it. I know that my disgust at having the f-bomb and other perfectly good words bleeped out is matched by many people's disgust at LISTENING to them.  I got a taste of what that might be like during this program.  But to those who take the high-and-mighty,  oh-it-only-signifies-that-you-don't-have-a-good-working-vocabulary, holier-than-thou approach, (I read someone comment in someone's blog once, "Swearing every other word is such a turnoff!"  Aww, gee.  My feelings are hurt.) don't you GET that it's cathartic and works as punctuation and adds oomph to discourse much like adding spices to food?  And possibly that it can be used for its spoof-, satire- and over-the-top effect?  No?  Is that just me?  Okay, then.  Go back to your pastel-pink-and-gray world and let me have color.   AND I'll challenge anyone who worries I don't have a good and extensive vocabulary to a vocab duel.   Fuck that shit.  And people who write "&^%^$$^&(" in place of "fuck"?  Wimps.  Copouts.  Who the hell are they trying to kid? 

On the "to do" list this week:  Call Verizon to take them up on their special offer to those-who-have-given-them-all-their-business (hello, does anyone else miss Ma Bell?) to add Direct TV through them, and it's GOING TO INCLUDE HBO.  Fuck.  And Shit.  (which slipped through the button-punchers a couple of times.  Perhaps they just got worn down and said, "Ah, bleep.  At this point, 'shit' is hardly noticeable.")

HBO is one of the luxuries we gave up in the WTFTS era -- When The Fucking Tuition Started.  We've decided we'll start eating dog food now and turn off the heat so we can have HBO.  Seems fair. 

Of course I can't photograph What The Fuck for my ABC-Along post.  So instead, I will photograph some wool.  Bleeping happy now? 

Those stunning batts are silk-Falkland blends that came from the fucking stunning Kae -- who, I might add, is not afraid of a little f-bomb herself.  She is an old blog buddy, and she's a single parent, working and putting herself through school (and getting straight A's, so I presume she has a good working vocabulary...she may be finished with school now, actually).  Regardless: Go buy her fibers.  They're gorgeous.

A Whole Lot of Saturday Business (but no sky - Sorry, Camera's Charging)

Here's how the next Bonne Marie chic beanie turned out.  Started well after dinner the other night, finished before breakfast the next morning, and has already been sent off to Rabbitch for her hat drive. Simple and warm. I love Bonne Marie's pattern.  Just as simple as can be. Like mac & cheese -- comfort food for the knitter.  The dark brown stuff is my Jacob wool handspun.  I only had a small ball of it, and this seemed like a nice way to use it.  I'm intent on spinning more of it this weekend, for use in a hat for me, combined with the brown llama down and merino blend I've been spinning off and on.  Should be nice. I may have to make a matching scarf, because I don't have enough scarves in my wardrobe. nyuk-nyuk.  Maybe mittens, too.  I'd better get spinning, then, huh? 

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I felt the need to clean up my sidebar.  It was getting too cluttered and the Frappr map, for example, would not let me log in anymore, so I wanted to get rid of that.  I may have taken away some things I really didn't want to take away.  Oops.  I suppose I can gradually build it back up again.... or not.  I do like the look of the cleaner blogs I visit.  I think a complete redesign might be in order.  I never, ever use the blog rings I belong to, and I'm thinking of removing those, as well.  I'm loath to do anything rash about that, though, in case I might regret it later. 

First, I need to reorganize my office, get some more work done, and get ready for Thanksgiving.  Abigail's coming home!

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Yesterday I had one of my headaches (there was this little incident of going to the estrogen patch box this week to find it EMPTY - WTF?  I either threw away the wrong box last time, or this one came empty. It did happen on Wednesday, too.  I repeat:  WTF?), so I could not look at the computer screen.  It did not stop me from knitting an acid green and purple hat, though.  Go figure. 

On a whim (I'm very good at doing things on a whim) I picked up a size 8 16" circular needle and cast on the wild green SUPER-SOFT AND SPONGY yarn that I dyed and spun last week.  I dyed the green roving first, then spun it -- as opposed to the purple (looks blue in the picture, but it's purple), which was the same type of roving.  I spun that into yarn first, then dyed it. 

Because it was soooooo soft, I decided it had to be a neckwarmer.  The next thing I knew, it was beginning to be a hat and the purple was added in.  Move forward a bit and heart motifs were being added in.  Then I was looking up this pattern for the traditional Moriarty ski hat top decreases and more colorwork was being added in.  This little hat (it's a kid's size) truly took on a life of its own and the yarn knew what it wanted to be.  In my headache stupor, I was just trying to keep my head upright and to be moving forward in some way.  The next thing I knew, the hat was done.  This is one of those "meets several criteria" projects that Vicki was referring to earlier in the week:

1. my handspun - check

2. my hand-dyed - check. 

(1 + 2 + knitted = Twisted Knitters KAL) - check

3. practice Continental knitting - check (but not for long)

4. practice stranded color work - check

5. Knit Unto Others - check

6. local action (I'm planning on donating this to Kaleidoscope's drive for C.O.T.S., the local temporary shelter) - check

It did keep me from dwelling too much on my headache, but unfortunately, on its own, it did not cure it.  If it had done that, I'd have to bottle it or something. 

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Do you want to buy Jessie's extra house?  Middlebury is the most lovely, quintessentially New England college town.  I wish I could.  Maybe you can.  In case you don't know, Jessie is "What Housework?"

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AND there are 63 finished scarves in the Red Scarf Photo Album!! Bravo, everyone!  Have I forgotten yours?  Please let me know if I have.  Click on the Red Scarf Blog link over there -------------->

A Sense of Perspective

Yesterday, Lyssa commented:  I'll bet there's someone in Mongolia who would love those mittens, crooked aran pattern and all.

*KONK*!  That woke me up and gave me a better grip on reality. 

I decided to persevere with the felted sweater mittens.  When I got done with my work for the day, I went to Jo-Ann's and got a seam ripper with an attached magnifying glass so I could see and rip out the side seam and resew it so it wasn't crooked.  I tried on the mitten.  Better, but it still needed some tweaking.  I shortened and straightened the end near the fingertips.  I deepened the area where the thumb meets the palm.  And then I tried it on again.  And lo' I saw that it was good.  I got the other one and I did the same.  They are not exactly exact.  But they are close.  Then I steam-blocked them and they are even better.  They are soft, supple, and so very warm.  They have become a pair of handcrafted mittens that I would proudly wear and would proudly give as a gift.  And so I will.  They will go to the Hearts to Hands Project.  A pair of handcrafted mittens that I am proud of, they were almost free, they were interesting and fun to do, I learned some new techniques (including some beginning embroidery) and they took much less time to make (even with all the adjustments) than a knitted pair. 

I think I'm onto something.

 The palm side.  I intended that diamond shape to be on the OUTside.  Oops. 

They will fit a person aged 12 or so, to adult. I am going to check that sweater and see if I can make another, smaller pair, with what's left.   

STOP THE PRESSES!!!

Hee.