My vacation wasn't long enough. We aren't too good at taking vacations in this family. We weren't in my family growing up, either. Yearly family vacation, or multiple yearlys? Foreign concept.
In this instance, I tried to get my better half to commit to taking last week off with me, but he kept hemming and hawing and never got around to it. That is just fine with us, too. I am the one who left for a year and a bit to go off to London a decade ago, remember? Don't need a partner for a vacation, in my opinion. Also don't need to feel that any harm is going to be done to the relationship if one goes off and does one's own thing. So.many.people do not understand or agree with that, and I think that's sad.
As a freelancer, I get a lot of unplanned time off, and I have to be flexible to take the work when it comes. It does give me some flexibility, too, but it's very hard to make plans. We might be going through a slow period, and I need the work, and then the very week I need to move Abigail back to school, or want to go to a fiber event or whatever, is the very week I've had to pass up some good, interesting, and lucrative work. This leads to a guilty feeling about taking actual vacations. And often my "vacations" don't feel like real vacations because there is work hanging over my head that needs to get completed during the so-called vacation.
This one was different. I had plans to go to Kate's fiber gathering in Maine to kick off my week. I didn't really have any firm plans about the week, but it turned out to be academic because Vincent took ill and needed me to be home. Either way, it was wonderful, because this time I had all my work completed before my week began. That is such a good feeling for a freelancer. A TRUE week off.
Another annoying thing about my so-called vacations is if I don't go far, far away, and never check my phone messages, my office has a very annoying habit of calling me a lot during the week. Just to be sure I'm "really" on vacation is my sense -- not in the sense of "We want to be sure you're having a good time, Norma." More like, "We're suspicious of what you're REALLY doing." As in, Are you working for somebody else? or We could use somebody on a particular day, or whatever. This time those words were actually spoken. I'm still reeling from it: "I have you written off the book on vacation this week. Are you really on vacation?" WTF?
YES, I am REALLY ON VACATION. LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE! Vacations, even if one is just staying home, are sacrosanct, are they not? Please do not imply that because I'm "just sitting at home," I should be willing to put on my suit and go take a deposition just because you have one to cover. No. The last thing I want to hear on my week off is my office people's voices. I can barely tolerate them as it is, and when I'm on So-Called Vacation, even MORE so!
There is a problem with boundaries when one is a freelancer. It's a case of "you are an independent contractor when it's convenient for us, (i.e., so we don't have to pay benefits and taxes and a regular salary), but we feel you are an employee when it's to our liking, as well." Forget that crap. Not with this chick.
One year I was sick and tired of everything regarding the office. I think I made that rather clear, and I took a week off to clear my head. During that week, I received several calls "to touch base," the idea being, "We're going to try harder," and sort of apologizing. That was the last thing I wanted to hear. I wanted to be AWAY. Really AWAY. The apologetic, obsequious kinds of phone calls during my time off did nothing but make things worse and make me feel robbed of a vacation. People. Ugh. (yes, Dave, I'm consulting my architect now for my hermit cabin plans....) (And don't worry. I don't care if anyone stumbles across this and reads it. It's nothing I would not say to anyone's face, if I chose to expend the energy it took, which so far I haven't.)
I guess I have a thing about sound - and in particular, voices. I am not at all enticed to listen to the podcasts, for example. I know other people just love them. I listened to a few in the beginning, and they are nice and well put together and exhibit a lot of effort by the makers of them, but they are just not my thing. I think it's because I listen to voices all.day.long when I'm working. And I don't listen to voices the way other people listen to them -- I concentrate on every single word, and writing down every single word they say, and then later transcribing it. (well, to review, it's already transcribed by the computer from my written steno -- I just have to read it through carefully and edit the mistakes.) When I'm reading it through later, I hear every single inflection, every single tone of the voice, every nuance, as if I were actually hearing it played back on tape -- but I'm not -- I'm reading it on the page.* So I think I must get Voice Overload. This does not mean you should not call me on the phone. I actually like phone calls. Just not from certain people at certain times. :)
*An interesting aside: Abigail reads plays, dry run, the first time through, the way I read transcripts. I find this fascinating. When I read a play, I have the damnedest time figuring out what it's supposed to sound like. She reads them, and they are six-dimensional or something. She sees in her mind the characters, hears the voices and the inflections and the starts and stops and the timing the way they are supposed to be, and what the other characters are doing on the stage. Me? They are dry, dry, dry and one-dimensional and flat. I guess that's why she should be in theater and I shouldn't. But it's a skill that is somewhat akin to my skill for listening and then later transcribing. Weird, huh?
So back to Voice Overload and Bitter. My vacation is over. It was mostly (without the office phone calls) a nice vacation. Simple, but I enjoyed it. My daughter came home and spent a few days celebrating my birthday (who knew this was going to be the Birthday That Never Ends? Sorry.), I went on a lovely hike and had a lovely time with Judy, and I did get some knitting done -- not a huge amount, but more than I've done in quite a while. So it's all good.
However, I'm not feeling ready to go back to work. Damn. I'm sure this will all change once I get myself dressed and to my deposition today -- it always does. I'm just weird.
About the vacation knitting, there was The Grinch scarf and the rainbow scarf and hat; and the sock on the hike, which, even though it seemed like I was knitting fast-and-furious for a good two hours while we chatted on that hillside, didn't grow that much. And:
The Ribby Shell grows. I think I'm going to be okay with the yarn amount. Fingers crossed. I'm immensely enjoying the knitting of this. The feeling of the Denim Silk in my fingers on the hot and humid days is lovely.
Not long ago, someone sent me a skein of Dalegarn ARA. I'm embarrassed to admit I can't remember who. I think it might have been Jillian. If it was you, will you please remind me? It's so pretty and soft. I cast on for a scarf for Dulaan. I put it together with the Kittens mohair in claret red -- I remember who gave me that -- Rachel H., Commenter At Large -- and a strand of Autumn Harvest Lamb's Pride worsted that someone else sent me probably two years ago -- who I also can't remember. I'm bad. I'm so sorry for not being able to acknowledge you here. After about 18 or 20 inches, I ran out of yarn. I thought of continuing on in other yarns and trying to come up with a cute scarf, but I decided to cast off, sew the two ends together, and make a bulky, soft, very warm neckwarmer. The scarf had a couple of rows of drop-stitch, and they became a design element in the front (or back) of the neckwarmer. This could also work as a very warm headband. See? We're very creative around here on our so-called vacations.
My boy: Camera shy, but perky, healthy-seeming, playful, youthful, happy, and stuck to me like glue. Fingers continually crossed.
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