I Try My Hand at Writing for "24"

I haven't been telling you, but I've gone over to the dark side again. That's right. TV.  I've been watching some of the "24" episodes. It's no "Lost" (my first love), but I've enjoyed it.  After watching the latest episode last night, I've decided that I'm going to try my hand at writing the dialogue between Jack and Chloe.  Here goes.  Let me know how I'm doing.

JACK:  Chloe, I need you to get the (fill in impossible thing) from the (fill in impossible-to-hack-into) computer.

CHLOE:  It's going to be impossible.

JACK:  I understand.

CHLOE:  I'm going to have trouble getting past their firewall.

JACK:  I need it in 38 seconds or thousands of people are going to DIE!

CHLOE:  All right, I'm working.

JACK:  Upload the image to my PDA and call me back.

Formulaic, much?

Comments

[Jan]

You forgot to insert *scowl*. ;-)

[Sandy]

SNORT!

[regina]

I sense a career change for you, Norma! You rock.

[Vicki]

Hilarious, Norma. I can't help it, though, I love the formula and especially Chloe!

[Lucia]

I sense a series here: you would also be an excellent writer for "Law and Order," any sci-fi show, any forensic drama, etc., etc. I say this never having watched "24," but now I don't have to!

[molly!]

You're funny, Norma. It's so true. But coming up with endless impossible things and impossible computers takes real talent!!

[Lee Ann]

I tried to watch 24, but I spent so much time with my hands over my eyes that I decided maybe it was not a good idea...

Now I get all wigged out just hearing that clock...

[Kathleen]

What about the messenger bag Jack carries. So much better than the box of cereal and string MacGyver would have used.

[Kathleen]

Also...the autism community love Chloe and Edgar. So totally on the spectrum, those characters.

[Steph VW]

Heh. You should get the job, no problem.

Little anecdote for you: When I was a wee girl, my babysitter used to watch the soaps. I got my fill of them before I turned 6. Now, if a soap-opera is on, I can usually guess what the characters are going to say/do next. My university roomies HATED watching soaps with me around.

"Oh Blake. I'm having your baby but I had amnesia when we were together and I thought you were your twin brother to whom I've been married twice... so please, let's just pass it off as his child until he dies of the virus he picked up in the tropics while searching for you after that plane crash. I love him, but I'm so attracted to you, the dark and dangerous twin."

It's a gift, I tell you, and a gift not to be trifled with.

[cari]

Billy and I watched 24 on dvd for a while and then realized we were more invested in hoping the annoying daughter would get killed than in whatever else was going on in the plot. So we kind of gave up on it. Now if you could write a scene where the daughter DOES get killed, I could really get behind that.

[Carole]

I am so behind with the 24 thing. I'm just now watching Season One on DVD. I'm loving it but I'm guessing it gets old by the time you hit season five.

[MaryB in Richmond]

Oh, Cari -- I'm so with you on that!

We rented DVDs for the whole first season, but only lasted about 10 hours, partly because of the exceedingly annoying daughter ("Oh, mom! This is all my fault!" "No it isn't, sweetheart." YES IT IS!!!).

The final straw for us -- in that first season, which we only saw a few months ago -- was when they escaped from the camp where they'd been held, using helicopters, Marines in wetsuits carrying submachine guns, and who knows what else ... and the boy escaped by .... getting on a city bus.

I was screaming at the TV: THEY'VE GOT BUS SERVICE?!?!?!

I turned it off right there and sent them all back to Netflix.

[MaryB in Richmond]

Oh, Carole...I hope I didn't just ruin something for you!

[Judy]

That would be about right.. but I am still not going to miss next week. I am hooked. Remeber, in the end, this series always kills everyone off. Except. Jack.

[hillary]

I stopped watching "24" in season 2 because I found the predictability factor a bit much to take. To bad I'm not still 7. Way back when, my sister and I would watch CHiPS. I admit it. We would count down the time between the rescue and the car blowing up. Now that was predictable!

[margene]

This is our first season of 24...Cara's fault, BTW and you nailed it. Nailed it!!

[Anna]

*heh* Perfect. Poor Chloe...I'm waiting for her to drop dead with a bleeding ulcer.

[Carrie]

Cari, the annoying daughter never did get killed. That was what I hoped for too.
And by the way, Chloe would never have said it was impossible. She'd have said, "Well, I can route that through the (big scary supercomputer at NASA), but it will take me 45 seconds, not counting this phone call."
THEN, Jack would have told her about 38 seconds before world destruction.

[janine]

we gave up on 24 after about 5 hours of series 1 :-) but Lost, now that's a different matter

[julia fc]

That's why we stopped halfway through season three. Good though.

[Jane]

Excellent! I know it has a big fan following, but I never made it past the third episode of the first season. Now Lost is another matter entirely - I'm competely addicted.

[Jenn]

You also forgot to say "copy that" about fifteen times in that little conversation! :)

[sandy]

Oh, I'm sorry TV network! I thought I tuned in to my friend, Norma's blog. I must have dialed the wrong number.
:)

[Stephanie]

You're not wrong. That makes it even more interesting that Joe and I found season one so compelling that we pretty much watched in in 24 hours. Back to back. Not pretty.

[Faith]

I watched the first two seasons before the stress got to me. Now I don't even like seeing the ads.

[Kay]

I've never even watched it but I'm lol. Surely you've nailed it! xox Kay

[Lola LB]

Here's a challenge for you . . . write a dialog between Jack and the wheasely President as he holds a gun to his lovely wife's head. Jack must get the wife separated from the President before eliminating him . . .

[melanie]

Doesn't it remind you of the conversations between Scottie and Kirk on Star Trek?

[Kirsten]

You could totally write for "Alias," too. Jack is still Jack--just sub Victor Garber (yum) for Kiefer Sutherland (blech). Chloe becomes Marshall or Rachel. and "thousands of people" turns into "Sydney." Include a cutaway to Sydney weeping unattractively, and you're done.

[Norah]

I'm so glad that I no longer feel I've been missing so much because I've never watched "24"! Thanks, Norma! Also I agree with Lucia about Law and Order (the original): Exactly the same format! Every show! And it's been on about a hundred years!

[margaux]

Hilarious... !!! I heart 24.

[Jay]

Ooh, when's the next episode?!

[Peeve]

And we all know if we tried that with real tech support, they'd spend the 38 seconds laughing hysterically before they hung up...

[margene]

Norma! Where are you? Was it REALLY TUESDAY you last posted. I miss you and hope all is well for you!!

[sandy, the doe]

NORMA! Are you there? I am a doe! Oh,wait, that's not right, is it??
xo

[jen]

Surfed over here from Rachael at yarnagogo & OMG you so nailed it. I knit during the show & my husband doesn't understand why...

[Chris]

LOL - I'm watching season 5 for the first time on DVD right now and I know EXACTLY the scene that inspired you... I'd also add that if Jack Bauer tells you to trust him, I REALLY hope you have your affairs in order, because you're not likely to live through that episode...