I apologize for what you are about to read. I am really in no condition to post this, and it's really a waste of your time. But you clicked in, so I guess I owe you to finish this sentence.
Yes. Work has been a bear. Actually, compared to other work bears, this one has been rather cuddly and nice. No big teeth or claws. No scary growls, really. My witnesses have not been astrophysicists or brain surgeons or hydrogeologists or actuaries. This week it's just been plain-old plain-old regular people talking regular English. This makes my editing, assuming I wrote good steno, which I usually do, almost embarrassingly easy. When I say, "50 pages before bedtime," it sounds like a lot to you, but I'm not typing it, just fixing it up. It's already there in rough draft, and it's not terribly rough, given that I was trained to write real-time for television audiences. But still. As of now, my neck, shoulders and forearms are about to give in. Pain! Ouch!
And thank goodness I've got back into the yoga, because if not for that, it would be worse pain. Add to all this a couple, three, four more depositions this week, and two hellish drives -- one in driving rain and one in sleet -- and I'm kind of on my way to being t.i.r.e.d. And my steno machine is overdue for a cleaning, so some keys are sticking, etc., and an extra letter in a keystroke (which I will remind you is not like typing, but more like stroking chords on a piano) makes a whole 'nother word or phrase. Ugh. At one point in my lonnnnnnnng Monday deposition, the software decided that the questioning lawyer was "THE COURT." I noticed it after a few minutes and I stopped her, trying to figure out why the frigging software grew horns and decided to do that. She was a very young associate lawyer, and I said to her, "We don't want to put you on the bench -- just yet." She got a kick out of that. I explained that having that keep up like that was going to make my editing life HELL, and since they wanted that transcript fast, they'd better let me see if I could fix it. I did eventually. I have no idea what I did, but I clicked and looked at the dictionary, etc., couldn't see any problem, and then it stopped. WTF? Frigging software.
And then a brief form came up from wayyyyyyyy the hell back when I worked for BBC Television. That was over a decade, and two different brands of software ago, and many, many, many changes in my dictionary. I swear to gawd, I keep telling the software people that this happens and they think I'm retarded. It's like ghosts of brief forms past. This one was "one member, one vote." Too hilarious, to those of us (all two of us, Yvonne?) who understand the steno and the television and the British politics.
Anyhoo. I'm exhausted and can't really think or write any more. A little glimpse into the wild and wacky work world (gee, I wish this was W week in the ABC-Along....) of Me.
I'm still waiting for the Lion Cashmere Blend I ordered so I can finish the red scarf. And someone gave me some red yarn. There's a blog-worthy story behind it, but I'm afraid I've run out of steam for now. Suffice it to say, it's not going well. I am not in love with Lion Brand Suede. The color is wonderful, but man, is that stuff hard to work with. And squeaky. Don't you hate yarn that is squeaky in your fingers? Ugh. But when the printer is printing the hundreds of pages it's printing these days, and when I'm not editing, I'm soldiering on and making a "My So Called Scarf" with it. (I have no energy to link it right now) I love the pattern, now that I'm over my Stupiditis about it. That's where I got the title, and there's a story behind that, too. Man, I'm useless. I'm telling you. Here's a pic of the thing. The "edging" is just my Stupiditis. I decided to keep it as an edging. Design element....yeah, that's it. If the yarn doesn't kill me, it'll make me stronger? Is that what I'm supposed to believe?
P.S. Why did the menopausal woman cross the road?
To kill the chicken.
Man, that one just cracked me right up. It's on my "Wild Words from Wild Women" peel-off calendar. (more W's!) I had to share it with you. This is just indicative of my state of mind, no?