Must.....Keep......Eye....On....The (Wait, what was the question?)

I have to tell you a story. (don't groan. I'll try to keep it short. ish.)

I did quite well in court reporting school, but I was not one of the professor's favorites. In fact, she downright didn't like me. I did not practice on the steno machine, and I still passed my speed and accuracy tests. That pissed her off to no end (although she was far too refined to use the phrase "pissed off"), as it eroded the Absolute Truth that she preached:  You MUST practice EVERY DAY or you won't get your speed. Every day we were to pass in our practice tapes...the piles of paper from the steno machine to show that we had practiced the night before. Mine were always about a quarter- to a half an inch thick. (they would likely have been not even that thick, except we had to pass in something, otherwise points were taken off.) Other people's were five inches, six inches, eight inches thick. She praised the ones who passed in the thick ones, and most of the time they made their speed tests. She glowered when she received mine. The other students would give a tsk-tsk kind of look. Shame on Norma. But then I'd pass the speed tests, too. Worse than that, I'd ace the written knowledge tests, but the others often were not allowed to proceed because, although they had gotten their speed, they did not pass the academic bits. It was really all about the concentration. That was my super-power. (Well, that and super-human hearing. But for this discussion that part is irrelevant.)

When it came close to graduation, we all sat for the national certification test. This was meant to be only for practice, because nobody really expected you to pass the test before you had even graduated from court reporting school. It was done to get familiar with the whole thing and get a little more experience under one's belt, experience the stress of taking the test, and if one were lucky enough to pass, well, all the better. So the test day was there and we were all set up in a classroom where the test was administered. There were two people in the front of the room, professional readers. They had timed material to read to us in one or two voices, depending on the test. It was three different types of material at speeds of 180, 200, and 225 words per minute. In order to pass, you had to have 95% accuracy or greater in the transcript you later typed up from the dictated material. 

So my seat was the closest to the open window.  It was May and it was hot. I wanted the breeze. The dictation was given, we finished, and I knew I had GOT IT. I heaved a HUGE sigh of relief and started jumping around in my seat. I couldn't wait to get to the typing area to type it up. WOW! I think I passed!!! 

WHINING began - loud - crying, "Foul! It's not FAIR! The lawnmower under the window. We all lost our concentration! Do-over!" (I'm really BAD at tolerating whining. I can't stand it for ONE SECOND. Unless it's me doing the whining. Then I can listen to it ALL DAY.)

The professional dictators (sounds like Fidel Castro or something, eh?) began to agree. They didn't know what to do. Should they contact National and get a ruling? Should they call the test a failure? Is there a procedure for this kind of thing? Then the professor said, "Wait. Before we call National, does anyone think they got it?"

Red-faced Norma had to raise her hand. Tentatively. "Lawnmower? What lawnmower?" Many nasty stares. Hey, this thing cost me $225, and if I passed it, it would mean not having to pass it later, and it would mean getting hired somewhere at a higher pay rate. I was not about to say I didn't get it just to be with the "in" crowd. The Professor Who Never Liked Me turned GRAY. Through pursed lips and with a roll of the eyes, she said, "Well, since Norma was the closest to the window and SHE SAYS SHE GOT IT....." 

This story is to illustrate that I used to have it. I mean, I really had it. The "it" being P-E-R-F-E-C-T CONCENTRATION. No A.D.D. here. Nope. Not even close. (I did pass, by the way, in case you're wondering.)

Then what the hell has happened? I have clearly lost it. I've lost my concentration mojo.

To illustrate my point, here are my current works in progress:

The second Vineyard sock....at least I'm making some progress. I've turned the heel. This is good.  Progress is good. (ow, that windowsill really needs to be taken care of.) Hm? What? Where was I?  Oh, yes....

Ribby Cardi. Has not changed since Rhinebeck. I'm somewhere about a quarter of the way done the back, two sleeves done. Need to do the two fronts and the finishing.

The Dulaan toddler's vest and the Must Have Cardi. Just a tiny, faint blip on the radar. And then there's the second Dr. Suess mitten for Dulaan. It's bright yellow-and-green, and it sits in the Dulaan basket next to my computer chair, waving at me so I won't forget.

Beth. I think. Is that even the right name? How horrible that this little love o' mine has been ignored so long. How could I fall so head-over-heels in love with this project and then even forget the name so soon? Need to rip back that sleeve cap, redo it, and get on with the rest of the sweater.

Rogue II. Not really anymore. I've made a decision to not continue with the Rogue in the yarn I was using. I hadn't gotten far anyway. But after seeing Teresa's Version One in Green Mt. Mohair in Rhinebeck last weekend, I've decided to restart it in the "spice" Green Mt. Mohair that's in my stash. I decided that the Rowan Magpie in the gold color, although beautiful, is too flat a color for the Rogue I wanted. I want the flecks. Flecks is important.  (right, Laura?)

A new project. Yes, of course. What else would a person with newly-developed ADD do? Start a new project, of course. Backyard Leaves scarf from Scarf Style. I love everything about it:  the pattern (easy-to-follow chart, ingenious and lovely design. Yay, Annie Modesitt!), the yarn, the color (yay, Better Pal!). I've completed one of 22 of those leaf repeats. Then there are two edging charts to be completed. By the way, if anyone is an advanced beginner and wants to try a chart for the first time, I'd recommend this scarf. Just challenging enough, and yet very well written and easy-to-understand.

And then, of course, there's the spinning. Let's not even talk about the spinning. The blissful black hole. 

Perhaps more important is what effect the loss of my concentration super-power has had on my paying work. Less output = less money = less fiber. This is a SERIOUS SITUATION, people!

And in the queue, just off the top of my head:  Fair Isle fingerless gloves, mittens for Sandy's Warm Hands knitalong ...........oh, cripes....there it goes. I've lost my concentration again. 

Will I ever get it back?

Comments

[Isela]

LOL...I must suffer from the same thing and I just blogged about it too--what could it be...hmm, the call of the yarn (used to be "the call of the wild).

[freecia]

Wow. Superhero Norma. I never could concentrate that well. But you know, you could think of this as "spreading the love" instead of ADD. You might as well go for knits in abundance. It is a concentration of startitis ;)

[Helen]

Welcome to my world (the one of too many things to do and not enough time). ;-)

You'll get it back and be showing us lots of completed projects in no time.

[Cassie]

You know what? I'm not in the least bit worried about you and your projects.... I know you finish things. You've just started a few more than you're used to having in progress.

Are you in imminent danger of running out of fiber?

[Kathy]

I'm with you. Need.to.focus.

[ann]

ironic: Ann is reading Norma's entry all about concentration. She gets to the part about the Backyard Leaves Scarf. Hmmmm, she made one of these too. Hmmmmm, what edging charts??

ironic, no?

[Donna]

Concentration? My excuse is that I got pregnancy vagueness and it never really went away ;)

[Judy]

nope... at this age, we're in it for the ride.. But!!! you can feel the power (can't you?).

[Kathleen]

I have been eyeing that scarf too. And once I finish my "obligatory" knitting--I am going to start some of MY knitting. St. Brigid, Rogue...all dusty.

[rock chick]

Heavier yarn for socks. Goddamnit. So having a "Doh!" moment now re: having given instructions to the people I'm knitting socks for. It could still be ugly, but the whole sordid matter would be over that much sooner.

[Susan]

Oh, Norma, you are going to love knitting that scarf. I made one for the Red Scarf Project and I honestly wanted to keep it because I loved it so much. I wish I had used Aurora 8, because I think it's perfect for the pattern -- soft and has a nice loft to really give the leaves nice depth.

And you haven't lost your concentration -- you are multitasking!

[Cara]

I'm not really sure I consider this lack of concentration. I'm one of those uber concentrators myself and I have a bunch of stuff I'm knitting. I call it prioritizing. What needs my attention first? To me, the fact that you can knit (or spin) for any prolonged length of time immediately cancels out the whole lack of concentration argument.

That's my take and I'm sticking to it. ;-)

[Rachel H]

Um, I'm not really sure I see a problem here.

[stephanie]

I think your behavior is really normal. Mind you, I'm still me...so I don't know how much that helps.

[naomi]

I started a new knitting project a few days ago, putting me up to seven on the needles...

What if you use the Dulaan mittens for the warm hands knitalong?

[jpt]

In the middle of a Koigu footie yesterday, I suddenly wondered about your Beth. Nice to see the photo, she may feel stalled but she's going to be incredible when she's finished. (My sympathies for the attention-span thing. I started the footies to avoid a lace stole, a Lavold cardigan, and a toddler sweater.)

[Dave D]

I love that Vineyard sock, those are my colors. What size needles are you using? Very vool pattern.

[Katy]

You mean it's not typical to have seventeen projects on needles? Hmmm.
Love the scarf...it's on my list...oops, make that eighteen.

[Theresa]

yeah, and the problem is.......? Seriously, that's not a lack of concentration. It seems to me it's evidence of perfect concentration, bordering on fixation. On knitting! In any shape or form, you're obviously thinking about knitting, and that's good enough for me :)

[jackie]

My sister in ADD!! At least you Had It once. I don't believe I was even born with the stuff. Concentration to me was never more than a game show.

[Carole]

Who needs concentration when you're having this much fun? It's a lot of different projects for you but you'll finish 'em because that's what you are. A finisher.

[Sarah]

I just had to say hi to a fellow knitter and survivor of court reporting school. And when I last gathered all my UFOs together for a count? I was in serious danger of a yarn avalanche. What a way to go...

[JoVE]

I find that sometimes I get on a starting kick. Then at other times I get on a finishing kick. And then I have this space where I just don'T have anything I want to knit. Nothing started because I did all that finishing.

As long as your different projects are different kinds of knitting, requiring different skills or different levels of concentration, having lots of projects on the go can actually be productive. Something plain for those times when you want to knit what talking to someone or watching TV. Something that requires concentration (but you can't do that when too tired). Something small that you can finish quick when you feel like you want to see results (those mitts or the wee vest).

Concentration is good for your work but maybe the rest of your life needs different personality traits.

[Ellen]

My theory is that if you must concentrate fiercely at work, to unwind at home you must have the ADD approach. Otherwise you blow your brain circuits.

[cari]

I don't trust knitters who only have a project or two at a time and finish one before beginning another. You don't have knitting ADD. You're just reveling in all of the OPTIONS you have. It's an abundance thing, you see.

MWAH!

[margene]

Delusions of Grandeur. It happens to the best of us...the worst of us...all of us. Just pick up the nearest thing and knit. It's all good;-)

[margene]

Delusions of Grandeur. It happens to the best of us...the worst of us...all of us. Just pick up the nearest thing and knit. It's all good;-)

[Ruth]

People used to pay me to organize things, and now I can't remember which kid has what activity on what day at what time or when appointments are scheduled, or where did I put that sock I was working on last night, wasn't it right here?

I blame it on the children. I lost brain cells with each pregnancy, and never found them again. That, or I've become hooked on the rush I get when I start a new project. The excitement! The possibilities! The thrill I get from not knowing if I'm hitting gauge or not! ('cause who takes time to swatch?) Either way, I've accepted that this is my Knitting Style, and am trying to embrace it. Glad to see I'm not alone.

[lanea]

I had that same teacher, but for AP English. I hope you get your concentration juju back quickly.

[regina]

You're just multi-tasking, which women do oh-so-brilliantly. Sorry if that's sexist, but I am constantly in awe of the things women can do. They all look great, unfinished though they may be.

[Dena Shunra]

Me too on the pregnancy thing. When I was pregnant with Rose I complaiend bitterly to the gyno about how horrible it was to have had my IQ halved. I work in my HEAD, mostly! How can I do it???

He was most unsympathetic, iirc.

In fact, at that time I was - for the first time in my life - the cliche feminine girlie-girl. I have never before or since been so - flighty? undecided? frilly? homemakey?

I think it was too much estrogen and not enough sleep.

[Susan]

I never had it to start with.... I worked on my first project until it was done, and it was all over after that. Now I usually have 5 or 6 on the needles and spinning too. Doesn't help I got a new wheel this weekend.
Oh! Thanks for the help on the banner, I got it working!

[Patti]

It's not ADD. It's polyamoury.

[Laurie]

You know the answer. It's the Big E. Or lack thereof. I also think we have reached the limit of our multitasking brain hardware. This is the reaping of that hubris.

What Judy said. Have a GOOD time, and think like Stephanie's post today. I'd have to work up the courage to tell the voice off, I have to admit.

[Shelley]

Googled "leaving court reporting" and your site came up. For your entertainment: I am trying to see if all my c.r. equipment will come back to life after being in a closet for 8 years. eeek! I am gearing myself up for disappointment. Reading that you breezed through c.r. school. So you are "one of those", eh? Took me four years to earn my two-year degree. But REALLY am impressed with your stint at the BBC. I use that as my homepage for my internet browser. Realtiming that stuff is heroic in my book. I bet you have some stories to tell!